Archive
Instructions are presented in the order they were posted, most recent on top.
Entries by Title
Click on an entry title below to view the full text of that entry.
- How to Urge Someone to Seek Medical Attention
- How to Use the Various Shades and Styles of Sarcasm
- How to Use Your Modest Internet Fame to Get What You Want
- How to Construct an Informative Presentation
- How to Innovate
- How to Pose a Photo
- How to Be the Life of the Party
- How to Act "Manly"
- How to Entertain Out-of-Town Guests (Rerun)
- How to Grow Up
- How to Assemble a Mighty Team of Superheroes
- How to Advise a Friend Who's Considering Proposing Marriage
- How to Correct Your Mistakes
- How to Talk to a Happy Person
- How to Use Your Friends' Hobbies to Your Advantage
- How to Accept Creative Input from a Friend
- How to Watch a Movie You Are Told You Will Love (rerun)
- How to Tell Someone That They Are Wrong
- How to Explain What "the Hell" You Are Doing
- How to Write a Superhero Story
- How to Kill Off a Fictional Character
- How to Show Some Class
- How to Confound Your Alien Captor (Rerun)
- How to Get Out of a No-Win Situation
- How to Accept an Unwanted Gift
- How to Listen to a Boring Story
- How to Keep Your Christmas Gift Secret
- How to Discipline Your Employees
- How to Express Gratitude for an Unexpected Gift
- How to Save Money
- How to Give Someone a Gift (Rerun)
- How to Upgrade Your Operating System
- Happy Thanksgiving!
- How to Prepare for the Apocalypse
- How to Create a Weapon That Is Devastating and Unstoppable
- How to Play Video Games "Together"
- How to Get Amazing Kicks from Something "Normal" People Will Never Understand
- How to Answer a Trivia Question
- How to Tell Someone About Your Dreams
- How to Make a Fortune in the Halloween Costume Industry
- How to Understand Your Enemy
- How to pick Your All-Time Top Five Movies
- How to Create a Commercially Viable Series of Popular Books
- How to Share a Heartwarming Tale from Your Childhood
- How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get It (Rerun)
- How to Capitalize on Future Technology
- How to Calm a Frightened Child (Rerun)
- How to Evaluate a New Medication
- How to Sell People on Your Revolutionary Invention
- How to Figure Out What Someone Said
- How to "Riff" on an Idea
- How to Engage in Deadly Combat Like a Civilized Person
- How to Videotape Your Will
- How to Weigh Your Options
- How to Discuss Popular Music (Rerun)
- How to Listen to a Coworker's Complaints
- How to Boast of Your Prowess
- How to Teach (The Drill Sergeant Method)
- How to Repel the Inevitable Invasion of the Moon-Men (rerun)
- How to Create an Urban Legend
- How to Create an Original Story
- How to See a Friend or Co-worker In a New Light
- How to Resist a Psych-Out
- How to Set and Achieve a Long-Term Goal
- How to Set Someone Straight
- How to Develop a Personal Alternative to Waving
- How to Plan Your Retirement
- How to Beat the Heat
- How to Tell What Kind of Monster You Are Dating: Volume 3
- How to Tell What Kind of Monster You Are Dating: Volume 2
- How to Tell What Kind of Monster You Are Dating
- How to Gloat Over Your Captured Enemy
- How to Tell a Riveting Story
- How to Help Someone Improve Their Plan
- How to Create a Spin-off
- How to Catch Up with an Old Acquaintance
- How to Enjoy Collecting Things
- How to Write Fan Fiction
- How to Prevail in a Battle of Wills
- How to Recover from the Failure of Your Broken Phone
- How to Tell if Someone is Dangerously Crazy
- How to Put Up with some Idiot Telling You a Story He Clearly Just Made Up
- How to Totally Change the Appearance of a Major Character in a Comic Strip
- How to Decide Which Super Power You Would Want
- How to Listen to Other People Talk about Their Vacation
- How to Turn an Enemy Into a Friend
- How to Plan a Vacation
- How to Tell a Kid How Lucky They Are
- (Guest Comic) How to Make Love to Scott Meyer
- How to Live with a Disturbing Memory
- How to Explain That You Are, in Fact, Not Cold
- How to Appreciate a New Album
- How to End a One-Sided Conversation
- How to Display an Item of Great Historical Significance
- How to Save the Earth
- How to Figure Out "WHAT?!"
- How to Maintain a Peaceful Break Room
- How to Make a Recommendation
- How to Receive a Shocking Truth
- How to Find Your Place in History
- How to Write Your Own Vows
- How to Talk to a Mechanic
- How to Engage in Pre-Fight Smack Talk
- How to Wring All of the Meaning Out of an Old Saying
- How to Unify Newtonian Physics and Quantum Mechanics
- How to "Booze It Up" with Maximum Efficiency
- How to Demonstrate Your Enthusiasm for a Movie
- How to Handle a Know-It-All
- How to Make a Good Impression At a Job Interview
- How to Explain Yourself to a Doctor
- How to Win at Monopoly Without Losing a Friend
- How to Drive a Long Distance
- How to Compete to the Utmost
- How to Perform a Spoken Word Rendition of A Popular Song
- How to Learn the Error of Your Ways from Three Ghosts That Visit You on Christmas Eve
- How to lie for Recreational Purposes
- How to Remember a Good Idea
- How to Talk a Friend Through a Problem
- How to Use Your Words
- How to Go to Your Mental Happy Place
- How to Reveal the Killer's Identity
- How to Properly Use a Factoid
- How to Repel the Inevitable Invasion of the Moon-Men
- How to Deal with People Who Stand Too Close When They Talk to You
- How to Create a Running Gag*
- How to Talk a Great Deal Without Actually Saying Much of Anything
- How to Keep Your Christmas Gift Secret
- How to Stay Young
- How to Use Technology to Perform a Repetitive Task
- How to Watch a Movie You Are Told You Will Love
- How to Come to Grips with Who You Really Are
- How to Face Your Fear
- How to Have A Horrifying Conversation
- How to Come Up with the Perfect Joke
- How to Express Condolences (repeat)
- How to Modify Your Pet's Behavior
- How to Choose a Gift for Someone You Don't Know Well
- How to Suppress the Urge to Kill
- How to Apply the Laws of Physics to Persona Relationships: Vol 3
- How to Accept a Compliment That's Directed at Someone Else
- How to Maintain a Good Mood
- How to Find an Innovative Solution to a Seemingly Intractable Problem
- How to Get Vindication
- How to Analyze a Song
- How to Make it Clear That You're Joking
- How to Better Yourself
- How to Keep Your Job in Perspective
- How to Deal with Something You Dread
- How to Advertise Windows Vista
- How to Correct a Coworker's Behavior
- How to Defeat a Lie Detector
- How to Simplify a Task
- How to Travel Back in Time to Deliver a Dire Warning to your Former Self
- How to Reveal a Shocking Truth to a Person Who's Not Ready for the Truth
- Extra Joke!
- How to Cope When You're Feeling Old
- How to Select a T-shirt
- How to Apologize When You're Not Sure What You Did Wrong
- How to Make Yourself Spooky
- How to Talk to a New Parent
- How to Prevent Progress (The American Method)
- How to Take a Nap
- How to Say Goodbye
- How to Talk to Someone Who Speaks a Foreign Language
- How to Talk to Someone Who Is Depressed
- How to Keep a Secret
- How to Discuss Popular Music
- How to Retain Information
- How to Create an Analogy
- How to Find a Job That Suits Your Interests
- How to Suck Down
- How to Purchase a Flashlight
- How to Discuss a Television Show with Someone Who Hasn't Seen It Recently
- How to Complain About Work
- How to Analyze Classic Literature
- How to Say "No" When Asked for an Unreasonable Favor
- How to Introduce People
- How to Be Eccentric
- How to Make Someone Greatful for the Sci-fi Movies Hollywood Is Making Today
- How to Accept Help That Isn't Actually Helpful
- How to Insult Someone Without Offending Them
- How to Talk Behind Someone's Back
- How to Maintain a Healthy Diet
- How to Mind Your Manners
- How to React to Good News That is Actually Bad News
- How to Apply for a Promotion
- How to Recover When You've Made A Controversial Statement
- How to Be Diplomatic
- How to Assert Your Individuality
- How to Encourage a Friend Who's Doing Something You Don't Like
- How to Tell Someone How You Are "Doing"
- How to Lose with Dignity
- How to Talk to a Farmer
- How to Customize Your Cell Phone
- How to Live With an Embarrassing Middle Name
- How to Project
- How to Invent a Superhero
- How to Deal with Somebody Who Has Bad Breath
- How to Wake Someone Up
- How to Share Your Enthusiasm
- How to Confound Your Alien Captor
- How to Rationalize
- How to Create a Running Gag
- How to Win a Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors
- How to Explain Something to Someone Who Doesn't Get it
- How to Develop an Invention
- How to Wish Someone Luck
- How to Converse With Someone You Don't Want to Talk to
- How to Boost a Friend's Confidence
- How to Disguise Your Symptoms
- How to Recover Gracefully from a Mistake
- How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn't Like You
- How to Tell When a Cartoonist is Getting "A Little Punchy"
- How to Share a Horrifying Experience
- How to Pick a New Razor
- How to Get the Most Entertainment for Your Video Gaming Dollar
- How to Decide Which Star Wars Character You Are Most Like
- How to Listen to Other People Talk About Their Vacation
- How to Be Patient
- How to Deal with Boredom
- How to Prioritize Your Friends
- How to Keep From Losing Your Temper
- How to Recognize a Bad Idea
- How to Give Someone a Gift
- How to Fight Against Conventional Wisdom
- How to Accept Gratitude
- How to Get Up the Nerve
- How to Destroy Society
- How to Entertain Out-of-Town Guests
- How to Show Off A Scar
- How to Share A Profound Insight
- How to Apply Video Game Skills to Your Real Life
- How to Counter the Old "There's Something on Your Shirt" Trick (Original Edit)
- How to Create "House Rules"
- How to Answer a Question
- How to Camoflauge an Unsightly Facial Blemish
- How to Fix Your Own Character Flaws
- How to Combat the Silent Treatment
- How to Tell if You're Getting Sick
- How to Describe a TV Show
- How to Apply the Laws of Physics to Personal Relationships: Vol 2
- How to Pick a Restaurant
- How to Deal With Trick-or-Treaters
- How to Deal with Insects
- How to Write A Haiku
- How to Correct Someone
- How to Express Condolences
- How to Pick a Code Phrase
- How to Tell Your Spouse About Your Day
- How to Seem Smart
- How to Deal with a Rash
- How to Quit Drinking Caffeine
- How to Remember the Name of That Song ... You Know, That One
- How to Open a Snack Quietly
- How to Share a Movie You Love with the Person You Love
- How to Slow the Spread of Germs
- How to Explain the Plan
- How to Make It Up to a Friend You've Insulted In Your Comic
- How to Disguise a Yawn
- How to be Suave
- How to Face Life as a Morning Person
- How to Listen to Other People's Problems
- How to Justify an Extravagant Purchase to your Spouse
- How to Lie to a Child
- How to Remember Names
- How to Pose for an ID Photo
- How to Have a Guest Artist Draw Your Comic Strip
- How to Master Your Fear
- How to Drastically Change Your Appearance
- How to Train Your Back-Up
- How to Deal with Visions
- How to Apply the Laws of Physics to Personal Relationships
- How to Buy a Car
- How to Eliminate Clutter
- How to Calm a Frightened Child
- How to Pitch a Movie Idea
- How to Apologize Without Accepting Any Blame
- How to Exhibit Good Form
- How to Give Directions
- How to Act Casual
- How to Calm a Friend Down
- How to Show 'em Who's Boss
- How to Avoid Sounding Condescending
- How to Greet People
- How to Avoid a Pointless Argument
- How to Keep Your Christmas Gift Secret
- How to Take a Break
- How to Write a Self-Evaluation
- How to Threaten Vengeance
- How to Explain Sex to Your Child
- How to Call in Sick
- How to Explain Yourself to a Doctor
- How to Tell a Good Story
- How to Display Your Baby
- How to Help a Friend Deal with Divorce
- How to Use the Universal Comeback
- How to Create and Wear a Memorable Halloween Costume
- How to Figure Out If You Said That Terrible Thing Out Loud
- How to Give a Kid a Story They'll Tell for the Rest of Their Life
- How to Hide Your Scorn
- How to Accept an Unwanted Gift
- How to Handle Surprising Information
- How to Get to Sleep
- How to Console a Friend who is Having Marital Problems
- How to Lose Fat
- How to Engage in Banter
- How to Wash a Cat
- How to Play "Who Would Win"
- How to Accept a Compliment
- How to Backpedal
- How to Pick a Password
- How to Sign a Greeting Card at Work
- How to be a Gentleman Cat Burglar
- How to Fake a Smile
- How to Deal with a Crazy Spouse
- How to Win an Argument
- How to Talk to Your Kid About Smoking
- How to Tell a Joke
- How to Maintain A Secret Identity
- How to Curse Without Cursing
- BONUS!
- How to Split a Tab
- How to Be Fired
- How to Remember Your Lines
- How to Write a Letter
- How to Cheat at Video Games
- How to Negotiate with the U.N.
- How to Tune People Out
- How to Get Sympathy When Injured
- How to Shirk
- How to Call a Relative
- How to Play Poker
- How to Answer the Phone
- How to Wrap a Gift
- How to Purchase Electronics
- How to Creep Someone Out
- How to Teach Someone to Use Their Computer
- How to Select a Gift
- How to Sound Wise
- How to Win a Game of Risk
- How to Talk to a Trekkie
- How to Shake Hands
- How to Groom Yourself
- How to Prove Which of You Is the Evil Twin
- How to Deal With Embarrassment
- How to Make a Decision
- How to Get a Date
- How to Stay Awake
- How to Avenge Your Brother's Murder