How to Calm Down

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Reader Comments (37)

I think I need to implement 'glacial profanity' in my own life immediately.

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterER

I shall have to try that mantra.

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Perhaps I shall try that mantra while attempting to fill out your "yes, I'm human, let me post my comment" box. Seriously, Scott, can you get one that uses real words? This is one of the worst I've ever seen.

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Swearing in a comic without swearing or using !@#$%^&*...

Pure genius.

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOldbear

Glacial profanity FTW, bbbiiiiiiiiiittttttccchhhhhheeeessss!

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChip Camden

"glacial profanity"

that's a tee shirt, bumper sticker, internet meme waiting to explode across the western pop consciousness for next fifteen days (Andy Warhol was slightly wrong, due to inflation, everyone gets a shot of fame for at least fifteen days)

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKevin A Kunreuther

Nice try... but in panel 2 those are NOT jazz hands. No cookie for you.

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter#2fan

Glacial profanity.

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWilla

Funny as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergoosemonster

"Glacial Profanity" is the name of my new Tito Puente cover band.

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa from Indiana

Oh gawd...perfect timing of this comic for me today.

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAC

I've always thought about meditation as a concept but I never could nail down the specifics. This is perfect! (and hilarious)

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig Steffen

I have just adopted Glacial Profanity as a new work method!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermohrorless

This one was good, 'glacial profanity' should be a new term in Merriam and Webster's!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWally

Heh, that was great. I want to print out the first panel and post it on my wall.

At least on Saturdays.

(Anyone else think of the Principia Discordia at "Mu?" Or am I just weird?)

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRob

mental note:
Making Scott work on Saturday will release the curse of the masking tape mummy

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterisiah


February 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterilovecheesepie

I loved the glacial profanity!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLuke314pi

No no no!

Please, Scott, keep the current "yes, I'm human, let me post my comment" box. It's the only one I've seen that makes me feel assured I really am human. All the others are too easy. Sometimes I don't post anything and just sit there flipping through each new captcha in hopes it will become easier for me. Even when I do post, I'm never quite sure I really succeeded until the post is approved. I always imagine it failed, but that Scott later compares my captcha guess to the image and deciding whether my failed guess could be from a human.

You must keep it! Please!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThom

@Kate: Trust me, this is nowhere close to the worst possible Captcha. The worst ones distort the letters to near-Picasso extremes, and they put random blotches behind the letters. They also throw in accent marks and stuff that is darn near to mathematical formulas. You never have to type the accent marks, but it can be confusing. Anyone without perfect eyesight and good spatial reasoning is screwed.

Some tips on glacial profanity:

1. Each intonation must be a separate syllable
2. Your facial expression must match the non-glacial emotion (holding this is challenging, at first)
3. If anyone catches on, switch to mumbling to yourself--that will drive them away

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSoul of Wit

I agree, Kate. At least at his wife's site, the "I am human" code is just four or five characters that you have to not be color-blind to see!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

This is one of the best in a while!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDan

I've been meditatiing since I was twelve, and I've also been using profanity in times of great stress (never trust a study until you've read an accurate synopsis, half of them are actually anti-science - where you start with the conclusion you want and build a \"study\" to \"prove\" it...Yelling obscenities is a whole lot more satisfying than \"Gosh Darn!\" \"Gee whiz\", and \"Wellllll sugar!\")
I never thought to combine meditation and obscenities. I will have to tell the crew about this!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Pure Genius!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMikeV

Yup! Glacial Profanity is my new 'calming' method. (I laughed so hard at panel three that I think I hurt myself.)

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCR

A little off-topic... Scott, I went to preview my comment, and got told that my comment had been submitted for approval. Is the Captchacode thingy malfunctioning? It never even came up this time...

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCR

As a college student, I'm can attest that glacial profanity will apply to almost any office I've had to deal with. When a school promises an iPod that will be required for some classes, I shouldn't have to spend a semester and a half trying to figure out why I didn't get one, only to be told that by transferring in credits, I screwed myself out of an iPod. And that's just the IT office!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSimon

I can't believe that anyone misses that Captcha. As soon as someone mentioned its terribleness, I took a peek -- it's one of the ugliest ones I've ever seen. But sadly, it's the only option Squarespace has.

We'll see how things go without it, and how many word-salad spam comments show up.

February 27, 2012 | Registered CommenterMissy !

I didn't think this captcha was at all bad. But maybe my spacial acuity is just unsurpassed.

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Ok finally stopped laughing and can keep still enough to post. Thanks Scott

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRinkums

My wife said glacial profanity will still get me slapped

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdruw

I'm only posting to try and figure out if I'm secretly a robot. The comments have finally provided a viable solution to this most pressing query.

February 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSisterCoyote

In case of glaciers, walk south (there's no need to run) while mumbling glacial profanities.

February 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHenry Bear

I'll definitely try this "glacial profanity" at home

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercurses

Did anyone else notice the censored swears used specific symbols, and that they were combined for the third word?
Combination swearing is a thing everyone should be aware of

March 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChrist Jesusificus


May 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterE.nigma

The study that shows venting anger increases anger has a pretty dubious definition of anger. All it really demonstrates is that raising your voice raises your energy level, which any athletic coach or physical trainer could've told you.

July 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArchive Binging
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