Off to Be the Wizard (Rocket Hat Industries, 2013; 270 pages)

Scott Meyer’s first novel. It’s a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble.

Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.

Off to Be the Wizard is a light comedic novel about computers, time travel, and human stupidity, written by Scott Meyer, the creator of the internationally known comic strip Basic Instructions.

Magic will be made! Legends will be created! Stew will be eaten!

For just $2.50 a month (or $30 a year), get high resolution Basic Instructions comics and exclusive creator commentary e-mailed directly to your inbox before they appear anywhere else!

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Please make the check payable to Scott Meyer, and include the e-mail address to which you want me to send the comics. Once the check has cleared, I will add you to the mailing list for one year.

Get The Basic Instructions Ceramic Caffeine Delivery System and a copy of The Curse of the Masking Tape Mummy for the unheard of price of $15! It’s like paying full retail for the book and getting the mug for five cents!

Oh, and just so you know what the mug actually says, here are some close-up pictures of the front, back, and side.

They will learn … who has an awesome t-shirt!

High-quality, silk-screened t-shirts emblazoned with the Basic Instructions Logo, with red highlights.

Tshirt Size

Woman's Small Woman's Medium Unisex Small Unisex XXXL

Express your love/hate relationship with caffeine with this two-sided, humor-laden coffee mug for the painfully reasonable price of $6.95!

Oh, and just so you know what the mug actually says, here are some close-up pictures of the front, back, and side.

Why not check out the free Android app, the paid Android app, or the free iPhone app?

The 2012 Basic Instructions Desk Calendar is available now directly from the publisher.

365 days worth of sarcasm, snark, and Rick-bashing! A bargain at any price!

My third book, "The Curse of the Masking Tape Mummy" costs a little more because it is a little more!

It is a full 150 pages, with a special full-color section, full of weird surprises.

To whom do you want it signed?

119 more pages of sarcasm, more insults, and more unnecessary hyphens, hand-signed by the author in his own more shaky scrawl.

To whom do you want it signed?

119 pages of sarcasm, insults, and unnecessary hyphens, hand-signed by the author in his own shaky scrawl.

To whom do you want it signed?

398 pages in total! That's a whole lot of sarcasm, insults, and unnecessary hyphens, hand-signed THREE TIMES by the author in his own shaky scrawl. Compare the scrawls side by side! Could his handwriting be getting worse?

To whom do you want it signed?

No, it's not cheap, but let's be clear about what you're getting. This is not just some jpg file I'm e-mailing to a disinterested third person so they can slap it into the cheapest frame at officeMax and mail to you in an envelope. You specify what comic you want, ANY Basic Instructions on the site. I will personally oversee its printing on acid free-paper, sign it, and have it custom framed. The $250 also includes shipping anywhere in the continental U.S..

The finished product is 13 inches square. The default color scheme is a brushed metal frame with a black mat, but a black frame with a white mat can be made available upon request.

If you want a signed framed print, but are not in the Continental U.S., please e-mail me. We can discuss shipping options.

Which comic would you like?

Other High-Quality Basic Instructions Garments

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