How to Understand People's Motivations

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Reader Comments (27)

I know a great knock-knock joke. You start.

April 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEric Lippert

My best friend from childhood always frustrated attempted knock-knock jokes by answering "Who cares?", a strategy that I employ to this very day.

April 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJudas Peckerwood

Eric: uh, knock knock?

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Carnegie

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting cow

Interrupting cow who?

...

I said, Interrupting cow who?

...

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew

I normally answer with (in a falsetto), "I'm in the shower... come back later!"

However, the one knock-knock joke I do like is:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock knock
Who's there?
(Repeat this several more times)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Phillip Glass.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTlalocW

A: Knock knock.

B: Who's there?

A: The last person you'll ever see, you piece of shit.

B: ...

B: The last person you'll ever see you piece of shit who?

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterInnominate

I always go with a simple 'Come in'.

As the boss knows though, you can't resist the knock-knocking forever, you have to live through the punchline eventually.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

All right something is definitely going on now. Mullet boss win again?!

Come clean Scott. What leverage does he have on you now? Is it just the straight forward sack?

If he isn't forcing you and is genuinely getting the upper hand more then it must be real life Invasion of The Body Snatchers. Only other alternative I can think of.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStevens

"Faster than light particle."

"Who's There ?"

"Knock Knock."

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSnagg

Telling knock knock jokes... Like a boss.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCzernobog

Obviously, come the revolution, the first one we stand up against the wall is MHB. Blindfold him, give him a cigarette...

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Obvious

The best knock-knock joke ever was in the movie Catch Me If You Can. It's not printable, but you can hear Tom Hanks tell it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGeekoid

Say "knock, knock."

> Knock, knock.

Who's there?

> Uhh . . .

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRob

My kids got interested in knock-knock jokes a couple years ago. I tried to find some good ones, and was floored that there were basically zero decent ones. "Boo", "Boo who?", and "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." Was about the best I could find, and it was still pretty painful.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrowlord

A (seductively or affectionately): Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A (hurt): Steve!
B: Steve who?
A (getting angry): How many Steves do you %&#@ know?!

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Cristofani

One of my goals in life is to create a knock-knock joke that is actually funny. One attempt, off the top of my head:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doorbell repairman.

There are more, but that's the only one I can remember.

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterI Ain't

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting doctor.

Interrupting doc..

You have cancer!

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpelms

Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock
Knock who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock
Knock who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock
Knock who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Knock
Knock who?

April 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSnarki, child of Loki

Knock Knock

Seriously? You haven't out grown those, yet?

*walks away in a huff*

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSunny

Well, have you tried laughing way, WAY to long and loud at the joke. Like five minutes of laughing straight, never breaking eye contact. Yes, you'll be be fired. But when you explain the situation to unemployment and file a wrongful termination suit, you should get enough money in settlement to make your own company. As the only one who "works" there, according to the comic, you should do fine at your new place.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIamJoseph

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Mushroom.
Mushroom who?
Mushroom for improvement on these knock knock jokes!

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterA fun guy

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Descartes.
Descartes who?
You know, I'm not sure. Let me crawl back in my stove, and I'll get back to you.

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterX. Istential

Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

April 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Existential philosopher."
"Existential philosopher who?"
"Precisely!"

May 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSimes

for some reason, i've started to think of the boss as being voiced by Jeff Foxworthy

May 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter1

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No! *You're* a poo!

...is actually one of my favourite jokes at the moment (though it got me in trouble with an 8-year-old for using naughty words!)

June 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTiggothy

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