How to Boast of Your Prowess

Author's Note: Almost immediately after posting this strip I received several complaints about panel three. Specifically, that it depicted an act of rape. Hopefully it goes without saying that this was never my intent. I envisioned the woman's attitude in that panel to be one of amused exasperation, not anger or fear. I have left the comic on the site because most people who read it saw the comic the way I meant it, but out of respect for the opinions and feelings of those who didn't I have added this discalimer.
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Reader Comments (67)

What's sad is I know a guy like that (the boaster i mean), I wonder if it would be wrong if I posted his name.

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew

good lord. stomaching this comic was something of an ordeal!

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoseph

Hahaha! Good job, as always, but this one I'm sure most men have dealt with one way or another

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJerod T.

Hahahhaha this is too funny

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJun

By ordeal he means like candy

Except for the idea of mullet sex. Yuck, sir. Yuck.

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRvo

Mullet sex? Does the carpet match the [user banned from posting forever now]

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPJ

With the third panel, you can read the conversation either the way it's intended, or with the speakers reversed, and it's still funny :)

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChambers

i never boast of my prowess at anything...you might say it's one of my strong points...not boasting, ever, about anything, that is. never.

September 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

Dude, that was hilarious. Uncomfortable, cuz ya didn't know where it was going, but hilarious.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetra

Seems like Basic Instructions has been getting steadily raunchier. Do not want. :-(

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames

Yeah, I dunno, moving all the way into rape joke territory seems a bit past the line. I mean, cyanide and happiness seem to have that covered more than it needs to eb already.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEarlofthercs

"Rape jokes???"

It's a "being-crap-in-the-sack" joke, for fuck's sake.

Although I have to admit I thought this strip lacked some of Scott's usual subtlety - and I say that as a real book-and-T-shirt-owning fan.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercsrster

Fantastically disturbing. (Or disturbingly fantastic)

The sexual incompetence, is slightly reminiscent of Flight of the Conchords "Business Time" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN0oDnoc3-c

But I am quite sleepy.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob J

Well I laughed, we've all met people like that...

And I never, ever boast. I'm brilliant at not boasting to be honest.
Nick

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

Ha ha! Good one. You win the humble ribbon. If we see you wearing it, you lose it.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Dangerous territory. Hard to believe someone could be that clueless... well, not really. Anyway, I think these kind of jokes are best told "live".

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAC

Thanks, Victoria, for spinning the (if I may say so) rather obvious joke round into something funny. The curtness of "If we see you wearing it, you lose it" actually made LOL out loud.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkukomanga

I think that was the most delightfully awkward strip I've read since the Iron Chef suckling piglet one. Except this one was uncomfortable all the way through, and the piglet one saved it all up for the last panel.

Keep stepping outside the box, Scott!

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSimon

Hey, don't let a little thing like decorum stop you...

Personally, I've known too many guys like this.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJD

The position of Mullet's hands in Panel #1 when he gets to the "I'm gonna have sex with her" part... yikes. Another instant classic.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

"Business Time" is hysterical! "Business hours are over, baby"

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJimmy P

Well... actually, if by "get off, get off!" we're intended to believe that she was shrieking for him to stop, and he did not, in fact, stop, but instead forced her to continue with the sex, then yes, that does constitute rape.

I'm not saying it's not very funny in a dark kind of way, but it does have kind of a bad... aftertaste?

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHazel

One of the amusing things to me was that the people you do NOT want to hear about this from, tend to be the people most likely to give you too much information.

In my mind, I was putting my fingers in my ears and singing LA LA LA LA LA.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterE

that's bullshit, if she was consenting, then there is no fucking time limit to when to get off. Rape my ass.
"forced her to continue with the sex...constitutes rape" --- blow me.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames Yeamans

Funny funny funny. Reminds me of my girfriend when she always says "get off"and I say, " I'm trying, it takes a few minutes" (like I can do that on command). Sometimes it's like a race to see who gets there first. It's like "Ahhhhhhhhhh- I'm done- I win. Goodnight dear."
I guess I'm just a one-pump chump.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames Yeamans

... if your sexual partner wants you to stop AT ANY POINT during intercourse, and you don't, it is legally, morally, completely and utterly rape.

But hey, if that's how you handle things in real life, I'm sure you won't have to take my word for it... the criminal justice system will be more than happy to teach you that lesson. And as a bonus, prison time might also teach you to be more careful about throwing around phrases like "Rape my ass." ;)

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHazel

Sorry Scott. Another spelling error. It's not $%#$. It's $%*#.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbrelgan

I can't be the only one who at first thought that it was Scott was with his boss in the dark room... I mean, it says he's demonstrating his prowess...

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShan

Ha, I thought it was Scott at first too. I was thinking that was a little far to take it.

September 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan

How the hell do people get from a pun about the double meaning of "get off" to "rape jokes"? Didn't even occur to me and I'm sure didn't occur to the author either, him being fairly normal and all.

If you see "rape jokes" in this comic, you are looking way, way too hard.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSho

Hazel's right; the situation depicted is rape. I normally love Basic Instructions, but this one was a little past the comfort zone for me. And if Jacob Yeamans is half the asshole in real life that he is on the internet, here's hoping no one blows him for a very long time.

September 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjorgen

[...] This post was Twitted by ShellyBradford [...]

September 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwitted by ShellyBradford

She was 'shrieking' - yeah, that's rape. This comic drifted into disturbing.

September 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbriligg

I thought that this strip was hilarious. I loved the awkwardness of Scott trying to desperately avoid a conversation he really didn't want to be having, while being terrified by the idea of letting such a golden opportunity to be disgusted slip through his fingers. As humans, we all have that "oh no, a car accident! Jimmy, don't point it's rude! Just stare politely from the car." I'm not going to tell people not to be offended by things (that's your right as an American... or Canadian. But not as an Englishmen.) But don't try to insinuate that people who laugh at this are bad people. This wasn't an overtly raunchy/sexual/edgy strip. It was a comic strip that reflected on the inability of some people to realize just how asinine they are.

September 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEd

This situation depicted is absolutely NOT RAPE, and it offends me that people are saying that it is.

Has the woman clearly communicated that she wishes him to stop? Obviously not, otherwise he would. He is not continuing KNOWING that she wants him to stop; if he did know she wanted him to stop, he would. That's not rape.

What if a woman says stop in a language she knows her partner doesn't understand? Is that rape? How could he know?

What if a woman just THINKS stop? Is that rape? Absurd. Men aren't mind readers.

Despite what Hazel stated, it is not enough for the woman to just want her partner to stop, she has to communicate that want.

Not everything is rape, just like not everyone you disagree with is Hitler.

Knowing friends and family members that HAVE been raped, it SICKENS me that you people would trivialize the word. You debase its value when you apply it to situations like this. Real rape is unbelievably horrific, and to take that concept and apply it to this harmless cartoon angers me to my core.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

September 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

Phoenix, your comment is completely inaccurate.

In many cases of rape, the woman does NOT say no or attempt to fight her attacker off, because she's in shock, or because she's afraid to, or because her capacity is diminished due to drugs or alcohol. That doesn't excuse that actions of her assailant, it only makes her case more difficult to prove legally.

It's really strange that bring up that you have friends and family members that have been raped, as though you think I'm not in the same situation. 1/3 women are raped or sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Including my little sister. She's one of the people whose case is impossible to prove, because her attacker was the husband she was trying to leave. Did she shout "no" and try to fight him off? Not after an initial rejection - that would have been too dangerous.

I have never seen a more uninformed group of people... this is really upsetting.

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHazel

Phoenix, I appologise for sickening and offending you. I did not intend to in anyway trivialise the horrific experiences of some of your friends and family members. Much like the connotation in the comic in question, the idea that calling a not-as-traumatic-example of non-consensual sex `rape' could offend the victims (or friends of the victims) of a more brutal incident of non-consensual sex (aggrivated rape) had not occured to me, and I am truly sorry.

Nevertheless I stand by my interpretation of the scene as valid.

Unlike murder 1, murder 2, manslaugher, death by criminal negligence etc and all the other common legal terms for the various situations (or degrees) of `ending anothers life' the terms for degrees of the seriousness of a the non-consensual sex offense aren't commonly known and applied. I'm sure people who have been raped in a fassion similar to the scene depicted would be equally offended by the idea that many people don't considering their experience to be `real rape' (although they would no doubt acknowledge that many people have have even worse experiences, and that the perpetuators involved would deserve more severe penalties).

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEarlofthercs

Of course, all of this hinges on you getting the joke, but refusing to apply the proper parameters. Perhaps when she screamed get off, and he responded, I am getting off, he truly meant he was, for lack of a better term, dismounting, Just not quickly enough to her liking. I honestly have to say that all of the people who interpreted this as rape have truly managed to offend themselves. If her saying get off can only be interpreted one way in your mind, why not his confirmation? I'm almost more impressed that people have managed to read this in one very specific way without opening up to multiple interpretations than I am with people being offended.

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEd

The comments on this post are kind of sickening. Hazel, however, is making A+ comments.

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwow

If her saying get off can only be interpreted one way in your mind, why not his confirmation?

Because, while no sane person could interpret "No, really. Get off" as anything other than "Get off me *now*" (hell, last time I told a guy to get off me he understood perfectly well even though I was speaking English and he understood only Mongolian), the guy in this comic strip has already demonstrated that when it comes to being able to comprehend normal human communication, he isn't sane.

The demonstration of his idiocy in the first two panels is funny. The demonstration of his idiocy when he proceeds to rape a woman is extremely disturbing.

September 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZeborah

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