How to Impress NOBODY

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Reader Comments (27)

Can I brag about being first?
Nah seriously, great comic man, discovered 'em on cracked a while ago. I've grown very fond of Basic Instructions. You've got a real talent there. Hats off.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDrusus

Nice switch-up from "BDAAAAAAH!"

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

The guy holding the chicken is the same from another comic, where he claims that holding a chicken this way doesn't "hurt their market value" :)

Very funny comic, BTW!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiguel

Michael, you mean "BDGAAA!" (also spelled with another "A" or two).

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKeith

The idea of having "a chicken this good" is just really bizarrely hilarious to me.

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick

i saw the heading in panel 3, then Scott's pose, and cracked up. Awesome comic again.
And just how many scream varieties are there?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInvisibleMoon

The third panel makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRowan

That 4th panel is GOLD, Jerry, GOLD!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

I think we should make a list of things that make Scott cringe like that. Or elicit the elusive BDGAAA!

- Chickens.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterxenapan

Nobody cringes like you, Scott.

(And bye the way, that is one intimidating, higly-lofted chicken to a man with a shaved head - whether she gets viscious or broody, you don't stand a chance . . .)

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaddy

"I can switch arms. You can't switch personalities" is another instant BI classic. I am wondering how I will fit that into conversation. I don't have a chicken to carry around, but maybe any bird would work? Or maybe my Cthulhu plushie....

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermoojen

would you mind holding my cock and pullet?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJames Yeamans

Oh, this is hilarious! Sending it to my daughter, who raises chickens.

Hmm . . . . My first thought in re "BDGAAA" and "NGAAAAH" was Spock going over the difference between "fascinating" and "interesting." Does that make me a geek?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRob

@Rob: Yes, yes it does. Right there with ya.

NGAAAAH most accurately portrays Scott's horrified surprise. BDGAAA would have been found... lacking.

Seriously though, hilarious as always.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Hold on, hold on, guys. "BDGAAAAA"? Isn't it "BGDAAAAA"? The "G" precedes the "D". Seriously, check your spelling.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRudi

First panel was brilliant, good show!

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlamov

If you keep cringing like that, one day it's going to stick. /my mom

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternorbizness

The other guy's comeback about chickens in panel 2 is what people tell me all the time to try to sell me on anime. Actually if you change "don't like" to "viscerally hate" in panel 2 and then change all the dialogue and props from that point forward to be about anime instead of chickens, then I've had that conversation many times.

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLummox JR

Is the guy with the chicken Stacy Peralta?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDave

My family had a pet chicken when we were young and I remember holding the chicken like that (we might have even called it the "balloon hold" or "chicken ice cream").

Scott, your fear of feathered creatures amuses me...

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

@Lummox JR: Instead of anime, put in sushi, and I have had the panel 2 conversation many times. "I don't like sushi." "What?? Have you tried it?" "Yes" "Well, you haven't tried 'good' sushi. Let's try my favorite place." "Okay, I tried it (again), I still don't like sushi."

We also have friends who have chickens... Stupid, smelly fowl...

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterphaser

Apparently there really are chickens this good, at least according to one photographer. Check out the story, as told in one of This American Life's Poultry Slams.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/252/poultry-slam-2003

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah909

replace chicken with penis in that last panel

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

@Lummox: yes! This one's awesome for a whole flock of 'just change ___ to ___'! "Why don't you___/ you really don't want me to"; all of P2; the last comment in P3 and ...er ...who cares if they think you're funny or clever as long as they cringe well?

September 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

I am so lame. I go through the comments hoping to see "Note from Scott". Awesome comic as usual. Also, BGDAAAA!

Note from Scott: I pretty much had to leave a not on this one, now didn't I?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVuvuzela

@moojen - take it from me, using a squid named Cthulhu is more effective than a Cthulhu plushie.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane

What's the matter, (Cartoon) Scott? Chicken?!

October 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJason Toddman

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