How to Play "Who Would Win" (Advanced Techniques)


If you never read the first "Who would win" comic, it can be found here.  

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Reader Comments (64)

Can't follow your speech bubbles in panel 3. Seems like they don't line up to who would be speaking? But maybe I'm reading it wrong...

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

I hate the common "my favorite video game character would win" contest. Video games have enough infinitely-powerful characters (ie, anyone from Dragonball) that it wouldn't work.

One example of a good pitting is Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney vs Agent 47 (Hitman). Question being, could Hitman perform a perfect crime, complete with framing someone, that even Phoenix Wright couldn't figure out?

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatana

This is really the best comic.

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

How about the cast of Jersey Shore vs. a threshing machine?

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudas Peckerwood

So... who are any of these people?

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBen

Of course, there's always Hank Yarbo's classic conundrum: werewolves vs. robots.

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHagelblass

Machiavelli vs. Picard.

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCoyote Bongwater

I have just finished reading every single one of these comics.
Mr. Meyer, you're a genius, dude.
If comic artists had leagues, you'd be in the one that Bill Watterson is in.

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Actually a ninja who's strong in the force wins, because he kills the jedi in their sleep. Unless the jedi is dark side, in which case they *both* kill each other in their respective sleeps. (I did the empirical experiment.)

January 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRavenBlack

As usual, both hilarious and mind-expanding.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick

Actually, Niccolo Machiavelli wasn't for the ruthless, tyrannical regime he described in "The Prince". Being a staunch proponent of the free republic, he wrote said book ironically (thus becoming the first hipster ever), dedicating it to the guy who tortured and exiled him, Lorenzo II de Medici. So, yeah, Sun Tzu would kick his ass.

Also, first!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUberschwein

I think Dale Carnegie finishes off the "Middle Manager Desk Paperweight" trifecta. Three-way fight to the death! Thoughts?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Somehow I find this very funny. I guess because I used to play this useless game myself with my sister too.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpingee

Why does this feel like a rerun? Did you accidentally post part of this one before?

Yes, I know it's following up on the previous "How to play Who Would Win" comic.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdam Underfoot

Gold! Pure solid gold. I burst out laughing by the last panel.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaleem

Damn, I've been going through your archive and JUST read the original. Awesome timing. Also an Awesome coming, but perhaps that's been implied by my "going through your archive."

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterryeguy146

"The Prince" and "The Art of War" are both on my shelves unread. I will read them one day, I swear. But then, I'm not a middle manager, so I don't have a desk to put them on, just bookshelves.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMP

What about Churchill and Stalin in a drinking contest?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterforgotten

I can't see the comments yet, but whoever you are, you just ruined the funny mood with your grammar comments.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterforgotten

Bringing back the "Finger Quotes"

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJason

First internet chuckle of the day. Thanks !

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFrog30

Machi Tzu II - The Art of being the Prince

My fight: Tyler Durden vs Ghandi.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Perhaps my favorite comic yet. Last line is golden.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermekura

Absolutely brilliant. But only an American over the age of 45 will know who Paul Lynde & Charles Nelson Reilly are. What about Walter Brennan vs Charley Weaver?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBruce

Jeph Jacques vs Scott Meyer

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohnev

This is my favorite Instructions to date.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterouini

Lt. Worf vs. Charles Nelson Reilly!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjvwa

Scott Meyer vs Gary Larson in a 'who can be the most obscure and yet most hilarious at the same time'-off, refereed by Jim Carey

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpeter

> I used to play this useless game myself with my sister too.

Who won?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous


Churchill. And he'd make clever insults to Stalin while doing it.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThalia

@Bruce, I am not yet 45 but I know who both Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly are. Who the hell are Walter Brennan and Charley Weaver?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

Frame 3 wins the Internet for the day. :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

As usual, I had to laugh! I listen to this game at least once a week from my adult and teen sons. They include their childhood imaginary characters in the face-offs.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Disney's Chip and Dale vs. Warner Bros.' Mac and Tosh.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn B

How about the cast of Jersey Shore vs. a threshing machine?

We all win.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereritain

What about Churchill and Stalin in a drinking contest?

Stalin, because he filled his vodka bottle "with water.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterploeg

"How about the cast of Jersey Shore vs. a threshing machine?"

We all win!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraash420

Panel 2 is the literal truth. Another one is "The Book of Five Rings" which is not only hard to understand as a business book but is fairly opaque as a Samurai sword book.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Scott Meyer vs. Sun Tzu?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermike

@Bruce: 45? CNR and Lynde were game show staples in the '70's to early '80s. Any 35 year old who stayed home sick as a kid should know them.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSumocat
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