How to Describe Something

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Reader Comments (27)

Sir, you have sold me on the Winter Olympics.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKieran

I've been a fan of Short Skirt Lady Dancing for some years. I'm just not sure if it really stays in there with tight body suit girls jumping around on a mat.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMike86

Some male ice dancers really are gay.
The rest figured out early that they could take their pick of young, attractive, athletic ladies who wear very skimpy clothes and let you grab them and sling them around.
Male figure skaters figured out early that they could have all that without committing to any one of them.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDee

"It's called 'Skeleton,' because that's what they'll break if they crash."

LOL!

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCR

; ) They should seriously hire you.

February 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeniy

I haven't caught the Olympics near as much this year as past years. This is the first year I completely missed head first sword-boarding. Though they turned the tv on at my job so we could catch women's curling. I'm in northern Minnesota, where they take underappreciated ice sports seriously.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenteraSimplerSimon

I love curling, no matter what you call it.

Short track speed skating is roller derby on ice.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterC.S.Strowbridge

My 6 year old son asked me the other day why they call it Skeleton, and I told him "Because if you screw up, you become one." I think I like your explanation better.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAdam H.

Scott, did you bug my apartment? I just described the winter Olympics to my fiancee last night as "people sliding on snow using a method of transportation starting with s: skis, snowboards, skates, or sleds."

Although now I am disturbed that apparently I think like Rick on this one!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

Toboggan: skiting down the hill on a tea-tray.

Something every kid from a poor family has done in the winter. Posh kids get an actual sled. But the tea-tray is more authentically ur-toboggan

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWow

A lot of guys like watching the male dancers in "Short Skirt Lady Dancing". NTTAWWT...

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterR. Dan

+1 for the Superhero sword-sledge speed test...

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermayhemfunkster

Super G because of the Super G Forces they have to withstand.
Good Comic I will be sharing with friends :)

Anyone else notice how sexualized women sports have been getting. I noticed in Golf over the last few years especially, and now the olympics. There's all these glamour shot-esque bio pieces and model shots going on, especially in snowboarding for some reason, I know why - but don't like what is going on. This assumes that it is outside pressure and not their own preference.
It should be about the performance, not about how good looking someone is.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBleepBloop

Well played, sir. As for me, the only sport I follow (and by follow, I mean "watch at all") is Olympic Women's Luge. It has the three essential elements of television worth watching: women, spandex (or equivalent), and physical danger. I was first sold on it about a generation ago when I saw a Japanese Lugeuse come off her Luge partway through her run, and fight to get back on board, knowing that she would be disqualified if she or the board crossed the finish line separately. The hurtling ball of metal, ice, womanflesh, and courage impressed me more than any other athletic achievement I'd ever seen (which is to say, it impressed me).

The other advantage of Olympic Women's Luge is that it is televised at the proper frequency: a couple of nights, every four years.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

And I now have some actual interest in watching the Olympics. Too bad it's almost over...

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermohrorless

"Holy crap! that's a real sport?!" for the win!!!!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFrank

Scott.... just out of curiosity, in today's comic, you state "The Winter Olympics don't know how...." which is a statement that grammatically somewhat debatable. Are the "Winter Olympics" a singular entity or a plural mix of sports. I can see both ideas being correct. Your usage suggests you found the term "Winter Olympics" to be plural. But, I could just as easily see people who use the phrase as singular to have said "The Winter Olympics doesn't know how..." as the correct form. My question to you is, did you debate which choice you made, and if so, what determined your use of the plural instead of the singular?

Just curious... again, I can see both forms as being acceptable.

PipeTobacco

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPipeTobacco

In the biathlon, they take a pause from sliding now and then and start shooting.

It is interesting, though, that there aren't any Winter olympic sports that don't involve sliding. Surely they could come up with some. Competitive snowman building or ice-sculpture making with a time limit. Sidewalk shoveling ( a race to finish, but with points taken off for missed spots). Snowball fights. Near freezing water swimming.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMarco

Holy Crap, it's 2014!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

In 1988, Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards represented Britain in the Winter Olympics ski-jump event. To this day, he remains the only Winter Olympian whose name anybody in the UK, and probably the world, can remember. Why? Because he entered just because he wanted to, and, the Olympics theoretically being an amateur event, he was allowed to. Therefore he came hilariously last.

As a direct result of this, the Olympic Committee have since changed the rules so that this sort of thing can never happen again. Which is missing the point by so much that they almost came right round and hit it from behind.

UPDATE: The other Winter Olympian whose name anyone can remember is Vanessa Mae, who was already famous for something else, but is reaching that age when "hot Chinese chick who plays the violin really well in a tight dress" doesn't get her much media coverage any more. Therefore suddenly she can ski! Which raises two questions. 1) How desperate are the Winter Olympics PR consultants? 2) How hard can any of this stuff actually be?

COMING SOON: John Travolta dons a superhero costume and travels downhill head-first faster than a car on actual swords strapped directly to his body to prove that SCIENTOLOGY IS AWESOME!!!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCount Otto Black

Bocce with 40 pound rocks on ice is still bocce. I'd rather watch paint dry.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDave H

Hey - I know a lot of women who are fans of ice dancing and it's not because of the women's costumes!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLEH

Damn, I think I need to donate more money again...This is awesome!

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterByron

Short Skirt Lady Dancing needs to become a real thing. We need to all start calling it that from now on so it catches on.

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

"There are male ice dancers too"

Yeah, but they're skating like ladies...

*is keenly aware that any Olympic-level (or, well, regular-level) ice dancer could quite easily sweep a curling track with me*

February 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Actually, Skeleton doesn't use blades on their vehicles. They are essentially sliding on pipes. (They have less control of their sled than the lugers.)

February 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterams

Sounds like Scott should ditch Mullet-Boss and start working for Don Draper.

March 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDi

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