Join the Basic Instructions Subscription Service!
Or, please consider donating just a little something to help keep Basic Instructions going.
As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).
I originally read that as "Vampires" and thought maybe they only played night games, or something.
Every country must have their own sleep inducing Hit Ball With Stick fest. What Scott suggests is heresy to baseball and cricket lovers everywhere. He should be sentenced to 12 hours of non stop baseball watching as punishment.
Blasphemy... Yankees vs. Red Sox last night - it doesn't get any better than that.
So, Tony, you're suggesting he watch an average baseball game?
Something's amiss here. Ah, it's Rick getting all the winning lines. Has having his own website gone to his head?
Now this is a good idea. I know nothing about baseball other than it involves hitting balls with a baseball bat, and the harder you hit balls the more points you get (a very violent game), but it sounds like the idea would be a good one.
For uniforms, the Umpires should go with a vintage look, like the gentleman on the right in this photo.
Wassa umpire? is that like a judge? It sounds like a judge.
You'd make him sit through one entire game, Tony? You fiend! You fiendish fiend!
George Carlin had some innovative ways to speed up baseball. 1) One swing. Strike one, YOU'RE OUT! 2) Pitcher hits batter - batter's out! 3) Randomly placed landmines in the outfield. "There's Marshall settling under the ball.." BaBOOM!!!
The thought occurs that Scott might have made a very good attorney.
Call the team the Offermans. They never drop their bats!What? I shoulda said the Marichals?
It's not just a coincidence that "umpires" has the exact same letters as "impure" except for the "s", because "impures" is not strictly speaking a word.
Notify me of follow-up comments via email.