GREAT cartoon! I am SO guilty of this.
Must say, Scott, you look distinctly evil in the third and fourth panels. :P
My least favorite "greetings" are at support numbers that don't include a hello or the company name but immediately ask for information. I don't understand what they say the first time, partly because I'm not prepared and partly because the say it quickly. And then they get impatient.
You look like Liam Neeson in the third and fourth panels.
I think I win the contest of craziest way to answer the phone. One time, in a fit of videogame fever, I picked up the phone and said, in a clear and conversational voice, "Aladdin".
Fortunately the caller was a buddy who was equally invested in the game of the day, Aladdin on the SNES.
Not that I've been able to ever live it down or anything.
My housemate once set our answering machine message to: "WE DON'T HAVE YOUR FUCKING YOGURT! STOP CALLING THE HOUSE!"
I like to answer my cell phone in an odd manner.
"Helga's House of Pain! How may we hurt you?" "Um... Amber?""Sorry, she's all tied up at the moment. Can I take a message? I'll give it to her as soon as she works her way free."
Makes the bill collectors hang up real fast, and gives my friends a kinky thrill. Win-win!
One of the better greetings I have heard
"Welcome to the House of Cannibals! How may we serve you?"
A couple of my sisters went through a phase of answering the phone, "Constipation Hotline," and a poo-related slogan of choice. The one who started it was 22 years old at the time. And didn't have caller ID.
Heh, My brother's friend kept calling my phone and asking for him (My brother borrowed it ONCE, for ONE day...)) After the third time he called asking for my brother that day I answered the phone "Billy-Bob Jo Bob's Lingere Service, how may I take your order?" He got really confused and hung up. One time he also called late one night while I was at a hotel with friends. They swear that I answered the phone in my sleep, very clearly said "No Yosef, he's not here." and hung up. I don't remember it myself, but I believe it...
Honestly, as funny as the comic is, I laughed the most at the comments. In fact, I am now going to reread every single post for the comments. So congratulations, readers. You made me laugh.
Panel two: Sometimes when I call a place, they answer with a greeting so well-rehearsed that it comes out as one long, unintelligible word.