How to Observe Proper Protocol

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Reader Comments (25)

Second panel is a delight!

In the "slog to the foregone conclusion competition" Monopoly gets the gold over its perennial closest rival, Risk. I don't know what game gets the bronze...

Woo hoo, the new book came today! What a great surprise- I thought it was postponed, since I didn't ask for any rush, so this is a real treat. At least for me- my Everloving Spouse evicted me from bed due to Excessive Chortling...

December 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEB

Goodness! Such language! If Rick really thinks Scott is a snot-wad then he better toss him in the trash with the rest of the used tissues to prevent contagion.

December 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThom

It's so nice that he reined himself in from calling you a #&%$-wad.

December 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNonsensicles

And now the Moon Men need to challenge Rocket Man to a game of monopoly to decide the earth's fate. I look forward to seeing which pieces they pick.

December 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

The moon men playing Monopoly would be awesome. "It's not your fault he acquired all the orange properties early, Sire. You prolonged his incarceration as long as you could with your strategy of losing by attrition."

December 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLummox JR

Scrabble gets the bronze.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjosh

I'm pretty sure Monopoly is a tool of some evil scientist who found a way to harness frustration and the destruction of friendships as an energy source. Then again, that could just be me hoping that nothing in the world could accidentally be so aggravating.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInnominate

Zoe - perhaps a "How to select a game character" or similar strip?

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentereskimo

Lord, I have always hated the endgame in monopoly. Hated it with a passion.
In fact, I haven't played the game once since childhood when a #%$-wad adult refused to let me give up.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergreeble

The Moon Emperor would pick the EARTH BATTLE CANINE that once beat him up, and Rocket Hat would neglect to react for so long that the Emperor would give him the thimble to mock his hat.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZ2

Any game where someone has a sufficiently large lead is a foregone conclusion, it's just not necessarily as drawn out as Monopoly. If you're winning 119-73 in cribbage, you're going to win on the next hand. If you're up 200 points in Scrabble and 3/4 of the bag including all or almost all of the big scoring tiles are gone, you're going to win.

I'd give the bronze for a slow loss to the basic version of Settlers of Catan when you are playing many people (4 regular, 6 expansion) and are boxed in to a little corner of the board and can't expand anywhere because everyone has you over a barrel when it comes to trading.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

Ah, Risk brings back fond memories of Pizza King peperoni pizza, Pespi out of 16oz returnable glass bottles and watching my dad and uncles get into fights over who should have attacked whom. The game was eventually banned by my grandmother.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAC

This is how Monopoly always is for me - no matter the strategy I employ (trading, buy slow, buy fast, trash talk, etc), I am always Rick.

Stupid game.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterashley

I just want to say that I hate Monopoly with such a burning frustration that just reading this strip made me angry.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLythande


Good times.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMikey

How about a BI tee-shirt that say's "I'm with #&%$-wad" and a picture of panel 2 Scott and panel 4 Rick pointing at each other?

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbefuddled123

May I please use this as my profile image? The 2nd panel brings back too many fond and evil memories.

Fun Fact: You can start using monopoly money to obtain goods and services from fellow players who are not as fortunate as you, especially in the latter part of the game. I've done it before.

Note from Scott: Feel free!

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

There are still alternatives to slowly losing:

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEaglesQuestions

My understanding is that Monopoly was invented as an illustration of weaknesses in the capitalist system. According to wikipedia, "it was intended to illustrate the negative aspects of concentrating land in private monopolies".

So the way that "winner" and "loser" is chosen randomly towards the start of the game, and then there is a tedious and hopeless endgame lasting hours, is a feature and not a bug. It parallels how as capital concentrates in the hands of the lucky, a capitalist economy ceases to be a level playing field. Over a tedious and hopeless endgame, you wind up with hereditary haves and have-nots.

I have heard that the idea that this would be a hugely successful game for children took the woman who invented it quite by surprise.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

AC, I miss those bottles and rail against the loss of them on a frequent basis, as every member of my family will attest. Pepsi just isn't as good in any other container. Glass didn't impact the flavor and kept it cold longer.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLummox JR

The British version of Monopoly was partly designed by Mullet Boss's great-grandfather. The boss just got his secretary, who nothing at all about Britain, to pick some nice names while she was in London for a few hours. Thus the value of the properties bears almost no relation to what the real London streets are worth. Therefore the Moon Emperor would be ill-advised to base his economic takeover of the UK on Monopoly. Meaning that he probably will.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterE. L. Wisty

oh god this takes me back to me and my brother torturing each for hours on Saturday mornings. Seriously the most evil game of all time.

December 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterisiah

"We have entered 'endgame'."
For some reason, I really like that line.

December 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWilla


I would buy tsat tee-shirt

December 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaddy

At least Monopoly isn't as evil as Diplomacy, which is the only board game that actively encourages immorality in the form of lying, backstabbing, and general deceitfulness, which are all pretty much required if you expect to win. Seriously, I'd let my kid play that bizzaro version of Dungeons and Dragons from 80's after-school-specials before letting them play Diplomacy.

December 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKwakerjak
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