How to Remove All of the Funny from a Story

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Reader Comments (17)
Jazz hands getting a real workout lately!
Jenkins and his wife are getting divorced?! I thought those two were forever!
I'm sensing this story has some basis in reality.
The last panel gets a medal for its meritorious service to comedy.
I don't get panel 3, but panel 1 and 2 have great punchlines!
That's the second standard comic in a row to feature "jazz hands"! What's going on here?? ;D
this doesn't work so well in the uk where stew is pronouced "st-you" (as in, properly) ;-P
Works in a US accent 'stoo' but not so well in a UK accent 'styew'
Very nice.
...And then there was the idiot observer who thought he was observing an idiot. At a restaurant, he asked the waitress "Are your soups really homemade?"
"No, we make them here." was her answer. He thought this was evidence of idiocy, and it was, but not in the way he imagined.
That waitress must have worked at that place for more than five minutes, which is about how long it would take for some customer to see "homemade soups" on the menu, and produce this piece of brilliance:
"Are your soups really homemade?"
"Yes, we make them here."
"Well, who lives here?"
"No one. This is a restaurant."
"Then, if this isn't anybody's home, they're not 'home-made'!"
(For those of you who don't know, the term 'home-made' in a restaurant means 'made in-house, not shipped in by the vatload from a factory', but certain types of imbeciles can't get over the cleverness of their own word-play)
(Lots of my friends have waited tables)
Oh snap!
Wait, Jenkins is/was married??
This story is over-embellished itself! We all know that to need a divorce attorney, Jenkins would have to get married first. That would require him actually convincing someone to marry him. Totally implausible precept.
First panel could do without the final bubble, trust your readers! Final panel is sa-weet. (:
He bought one of those mail-order brides from an impoverished country. After a few weeks, she dumped him and decided to go back home.
All hilarious, but the last panel SLAYED me!
Very meta