How to Wear a Hat

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Reader Comments (45)

The best thing about a hat on a bald guy with a Van Dyke beard is that instantly turns them into a badass meth chemist. Now you just need the windbreaker and a Pontiac Aztek.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWalterWhite

Really, it's "invasive brain surgery" that kills me in this one. I've read it a dozen times and crack up every single time.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt Yarbrough

A sober and meticulous Indiana Jones ... I think my brain broke.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterapl0discord

As another sufferer of big-head syndrome, I sympathize. It is possible to find stuff that's stylish and actually fits, but it sure as heck isn't down at the hat shop at the mall.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGeoduck

Beret. Or Santa hat. Your choice.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBabyDoc

I recommend a barma hat...they come in 2xl, which is as close a human sizes come to my enormous melon.
It's a really nice leather Australian drovers hat.

November 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDarth Gerry

Sober and meticulous. Is anyone else thinking of the Indiana Jones theme done in the style of the theme from House?

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLummox JR

The trick to successfully choosing and wearing a hat is not caring at all how you look in it. It was a little embarrassing when my mother begged me not to wear my hat when I was out in public with her, but she lives 500 miles away, so that's only a very occasional problem.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Does anyone outside of Texas even wear hats anymore?I can't remember the last time i saw anyone wear one. A baseball cap or a winter ski-cap, yes; I wear those myself when it rains or is cold. But a hat? Never.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJason Toddman

As another, "my head is too big for my body, unless my body is 50 pounds overweight," guy, I commiserate about the hat. Every hat I put on my head makes it look even rounder than it already is. This is especially true if I am lacking facial hair.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermarr

Si Senor, the bandidos have raided the village.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike Geordie Brown

You already have the goatee. The porkpie hat is step #2.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

2 words: Do rag!!

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMister Tee

A few years back someone would retitle this strip to "How to play TF2".
But now "How to achieve euphoria" seems more appropriate.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterADHadh

Do rag


November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrea

I can't be the only one who immediately googled 'rackish'.
I received the same dermatological instruction. Embrace it.
Be the guy who wears hats that are not baseball caps.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeardo

You need a hat that combines the spirit of old Mexico with a little big city panache.

Note from Scott: Well Played! Seriously though, one of the ideas that has been sitting in my notebook for a couple of years waiting to become a comic is the two word phrase, "cargo poncho."

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Peterman

Pimp Daddy Meyer. Just sayin'...

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR. Dan

I have a friend who is neither terribly trim nor portly who has worn the "Harris Tweed Ivy Cap" for years and years and years and looks very nice, all of the time. He's shaved bald, like you, and I've always liked that no matter if he's dressed up or down, you can count on his sense of fashion (and protecting his melon from sunshine). I went to AskMen to know what the cap was called; here's a link:
It's the kind of cap that golfers wear. I think they probably run a little larger than most fedoras, so you don't have to look like you've suffered invasive brain surgery.
The subject of hats, particularly for men, is very IN THIS MOMENT, btw. Maybe they're actually making a comeback!

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

Get an Akubra. Hang corks from the brim. Call yourself 'Crocodile'.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterResuna

Try Brixton for "cool" hats.

Luckily enough for me, I have found that I look pretty good in most hats (male pattern baldness and beard make it work).

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMikey

Try Brixton for "cool" hats.

Luckily enough for me, I have found that I look pretty good in most hats (male pattern baldness and beard make it work).

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMikey

A "sober and meticulous Indiana Jones" is what we in the trade call "an actual archeologist, rather than a goofball who just likes to blow things up."

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

What, no one's suggested the always in style bowler hat yet?

For shame.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlils

Is there some non-invasive sort of brain surgery?

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterReek!

The tweed hat is all right, but there's 2 out of 4 hats on that page that I would characterize as "Elmer Fudd" and "Inspector Clouseau".

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike N

The only hat that looks wearable on that Askmen page is the Akubra... Maybe the Weatherby on page two. All of the others would make me laugh at you.

That being said, I wear one of several fedoras or a home-decorated baseball ca pretty regularly, and I agree with Anne - the most important step in wearing a hat is deciding you don't care what other people think about your hat.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLythande

the Tom Mix hat is a perennial favorite.

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdeimos

A Jayne hat, from Firefly!

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllendra

Reminds me of the Walter White pork pie New Mexico sun hat, ala 'Breaking Bad.'

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoeV

More evidence of Texas's advanced civilization - we are just about the only western culture that still commonly wears hats.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy Petersen

A hat comic! I love hats!

I have a whole room full of the things, and I wear them, too. Several different baseball caps, a sombrero, a tricorne, a fez...

Probably the only way I can get away with wearing exotic hats is that I have no concept of "fashion" to begin with; aside from decidedly formal occasions, I dress like a rummage sale reject.

Incidentally, when using my computer or any other device while wearing headphones, I need to wear some sort of hat. Not wearing a hat during such times affects my hair in ways I've forgotten.

I suppose I'm in a similar boat. Not the same boat, obviously, but a similar one.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTurnabout Akamia

Try Tilley Endurables. As someone with a hat size of 8 1/4, that's the only place I can find anything that fits.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEvelyn

@Scott "Cargo poncho?" Hopefully made from a hobo's hide.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJohnnyboy

Invasive brain surgery... As opposed to the non-invasive form of brain surgery.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterK7

If you wear a beret you'd be like the Jamie Hyneman of joviality.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDania

I think you should try to bring back the fez.

November 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFrax

I will second the guy who suggests Tilley for large hats, although they're a bit of an old man hat. I got winter one just because it is so warm, and has retractable ear flaps. That, and I inherited my father's gene for a slightly oversized head (we are both around 7 or higher).

November 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

Have you considered a plastic Viking helmet with hot-glued model rockets? Be a trendsetter!

November 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

"A baseball cap or a winter ski-cap....But a hat? Never."

What kind of uncultured hell-hole do you live in?

November 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEric RoM

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