How to Use Your Modest Internet Fame to Get What You Want

I just want to be clear. This strip is meant solely as a joke. None of my readers owes me a thing.

That said, one of those Japanese toilet seats would be super-awesome! 

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Reader Comments (62)

Another brilliant comic! Lovesit

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I live in Japan and my apartment has one of those fancy toilet seats.

It has a control panel with more buttons than the microwave.

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Didn't you learn a lesson about expensive phones?

(Note from Scott: I never learn my lesson. You haven't been paying attention, have you?)

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZach

Hmmm... trip to Japan in June... do I buy the seat...

Probably expensive. Nah.

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDarin

I tried one of those seats in Japan! They're awesome!

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterK.

Japanese toilet seats? Don't they have squat toilets?

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterL.I.D.


And I don't use all caps often. That deserved it.

I'd help if I could, but sadly, I have access to neither google gadgets nor Japanese toilet accessories. Good luck, though!

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrispy

mr meyer, if i weren't a broke college student i would buy you a japanese toilet seat phone... and paint a google logo on it.

until then, thanks for being funny!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersuper me!

Sorry, I don't work for Google. Maybe one day!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBobisOnlyBob

Next strip: how to properly use a Japanese toilet seat

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYA

Great comic. I'd send a Nexus one if I had the means. That being said, you should develop an android app.

(Note from Scott: Working on it.)

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhlaode

when I lived in Europe I loved using the bidet. when I lived in the Middle East, the toilet was literally a porcelain hole in the ground and a garden hose. Killed my "bidet" fascination instantly.
I would sooner get an iPad than a NexusOne. I know how to turn it into an iPhone.

Panel 2 is brilliant.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTim

Lol ! ... one of the best in a while ..

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReader

"And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." I've heard that's supposed to work. (Although I still don't have an Omega Seamaster. Cheap old bastard...)

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAtheismo

Sadly, one of the things I miss most from my trip to Japan.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

Speaking as someone who just this week used her modest Internet fame to get her modest fanbase to do her homework for her ... I don't have a Ferrari, either.

But I do now have a hilarious Basic Instructions comic about my lack of a Ferrari, which is better!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

I love your comic Steve. Definitely brightens my day. Keep up the good work.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZach

No seat to offer, but nice comic! Thnx!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterreader

The seats seem to be a bit on the wasteful side though, unless it's one of those that only makes flushing noises instead of flushing all the time.

Why do you menfolk spend so much time in the bathroom for the basic, uh, things anyway?

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSabine

Yes, they ARE awesome. They had them in a hotel when I was staying in Korea, and (after initally ignoring it, then flooding the toilet stall, then getting used to it) I liked it so much I actually bought a Samsung from the local tech mart, and lugged it back with me. My bathroom feels a lot more futuristic. Plus, it's just plain awesome.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGraham

Yes, they ARE awesome. They had them in a hotel when I was staying in Korea, and (after initally ignoring it, then flooding the toilet stall, then getting used to it) I liked it so much I actually bought a Samsung from the local tech mart, and lugged it back with me. My bathroom feels a lot more futuristic. Plus, it's just plain awesome.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGraham

Is that like the german ones that vibrate when you sit on them? They also tend to have a little shelf in the bowl so you can check your production really thoroughly.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClare

The first panel is genius. It is probably the number one reason we want shiny new toys. Love it.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRob

I happen to live in Japan, albeit with modest wages. As soon as I make my fortune, that seat is yours!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Scott, if I hadn't gone through a lot of trouble (and money) to get a Nexus myself, I'd definetely send you one. Or should I say "The" One?
But I wouldn't send you a japanese toilet. Those things are scary and very likely they will try to take over the world very soon.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGus

Hey, look on the bright side, Scott. At least your modest Internet fame got you a couple of razors a while ago. How'd that work out, by the way. Still using either one?

(Note from Scott: Glad you asked! They were both excellent. I used the Azor till I ran out of blades, then switched to the Goodfella, and haven't looked back since. That said, the Azor was the finest cartridge razor I've ever used.)

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMP

i love your comic sir! keep up the good work!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterming

I really need to be more careful about reading this at work. Snorking all over the keyboard while trying to hold in laughter is frowned on around here.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScott H

The apostrophe in front of “net” is upside-down. It should be ’net not ‘net.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStuart

You don't need to go to Japan. Just go hear and convert your current toilet to one for $450! (Just FYI, I don't sell or represent these. Just did a Google search because I didn't know anything about the Japanese toilet that was in the comic.

If you want a cleaner look, check these out: (although much more expensive).

Or, if you are on a tight budget, go here:

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNate

As usual, the highlight of my Thursday.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick

Not only is panel 2 hilarious, but I like that Rick gets to insult Scott in this one, rather than the other way around. Not that I would want that all the time, but it's nice to see the interplay go back and forth.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWilson

OMG, you're so lucky!!!! An ORIGINAL Japanese toilet seat? niiiiiiice

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFabio

Do those japanes toilet seats have automatic seat lifters? That's what we really need. I can't believe that in today's world women still expect men to actually touch the seat to lift it and then put it back down. I think it should go both ways, if a man has to lift the seat to use it, the women should have to put it down to use it. Fifty-fifty, right? There's just too much risk of injury is you use your foot, you might slip and fall. Amnswer: automatic seat lifters !

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjames yeamans

the very best Happy, Nice , Lucky toilet seat !

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjames yeamans

"What does it do that your phone doesn't?" "Fill me with lust."
So, so true... but you forgot "everything a desktop does, including emulate 8- and 16-bit game consoles."

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGeoff

"Or taste. You've clearly never had that."

Brilliant, Scott. Way 2 go, boy-o. Keep up the good work. Woot!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

We have the Toto Washlet seats and iPhones. Awesome is not descriptive enough.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

can i translate in Russian and post on my blog? )

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter��� ���

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