How to Use the Universal Comeback

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Reader Comments (17)

someone found a comeback to "So are your pants" After someone says that to you, say, "They can be". The offending party will be digusted, and will leave

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterizzy_wolfe_13 how do we get a comeback for that one?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoseph highborn

Huh, never heard this one. For the past 2 years all I've heard is "Your mom- dot dot dot", but this is continued. An example; "Your pants look ugly" says person 1, "Your MOM's pants look ugly" says person 2, "Well your mom's FACE's pants ARE ugly" says 1, "Well your Grandma's face's pants are ugly, and she likes it" says 2. It'll go on and on until someone concedes, but I guess it's just an inside joke I have with about a hundred people...

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris Griffith

Done that...

We add in Chuck Norris' facial hair and the Mr. T's Bling Starter Set.

February 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Rob

That's what she said!

May 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFred

... so's your face,
that's what she said,
thats what your mom said,
who do you think "she" is?

November 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremm...

Guys, guys. Don't fret no more. I've come to give you the Ultimate Reply. In jest or in war, in casual conversation or deadly debate, in knee-jerk reaction or modulated retort, even in response to itself to the n:th degree, the one line that always works is:

*drum roll*

"You're just saying that to make friends."

May 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Creed

My universal [nonsensical] comeback: "Fuck your beard!" Applies equally well in all situations.

May 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave

@ Dave:
I'll have to remember that one, sounds like it might confuse a few folks...especially if they are female...

July 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterN

My nonsensical comeback is to make a bunch of nonsensical sounds that makes the person assume I am completely insane and may bite them :D

August 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIcalasari

my brother has come up with the most irritating response to insults. it's simple. it's diabolical. and i haven't been able to combat it effectively yet. no matter what i say to insult him he merely responds: "thank you."
WTF do i say to thank you?

January 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercherbear

cherbear say your welcome

January 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWET

My usual comeback to a personal insult has always been "your mom never complained" learned it from my autoshop teacher in high school. best exchange ever:

Student: "Nolan, you're fat"

mr. nolan: "your mom never complained"

Student: "My mom would never be with a bald fatass like you"

mr. nolan: "That's no way to speak to your father"

March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHyperinferno

Scott, you really look like the Basic Instructions guy?

March 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarth GTB

I can see it now.

"So long, dude. I'll miss ya!"

"Yeah, so will your pants!"


June 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

Haha, this makes me think of two silly comebacks. The first was just a silly thing my friends did. Start with "Your mom!", the next person follows up with "Your mom's FACE!" and keep adding to it. It usually ended with something along the lines of "Yeah, well your mom's face's DOG went to Momface Community College!"

The second one is funnier because it's real and wasn't planned: My mother knew a guy in high school that responded to an insult with the following: "Yeah, well you're mom's, I'm not as bad as you, 'cause...uh...Well, shut up!"

August 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTsunoba

A personal favorite of mine...

"...well you're argumentative."

can't be denied.

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAfromancer
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