Tuesday
Jul262011
How to Explain Why You've Chosen Not to Have Children
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July 26, 2011
Reader Comments (97)
first
I occasionally compare parenthood to cocaine addiction. You lose a umber of friends, the friends that you see most often are ones in the same situation as you, and a number of these you have absolutely nothing in common with except that they have kids too. Pretty much everything else in your life becomes less important, your sleep patterns are destroyed, everything in your life starts to revolve around your 'addiction' and you'd do just about anything for one more hit (a smile from your bundle of joy).
For the record, I have two, and I'm hopelessly addicted, but am totally prepared to understand that it's not for everyone, and support those that don't want them. After all, we need to limit our expanding population anyway, so you're doing the environment a favour by not having kids.
Added to that I look around and see some of the people who choose to have kids and wonder what on earth possessed them to do it, there's people out there who clearly shouldn't be reproducing (not saying you're one of them).
I'm on the winning team as well....though not by choice
Done in the first frame.
I approve of this comic, but it would have benefited from the use of the word "crotch-spawn."
I see in 4 panels examples of conversations I've had with friends and family and straangers at parties for years. Finally just started changing the subject and if they insisted on the kids talk I'd make a rude noise and step away.
Lifes too short to waste time with people who want to convert rather have a conversion. BEWARE THE ZEALOUS!
Wow... That describes my explanations EXACTLY! I mean, seriously, why won't people just accept the fact that I don't want kids or romance? Its MY decision not theirs!
Scott... As a *somewhat* newbie here (regular reader/poster for a few months) but had seen your comics occasionally for a few years.... can you tell us who the non-bald furry-faced guy is? I have figured out who all of the other regulars are... but I must have not yet hit the right archived comic yet to get this guy's name. I see him featured quite often, but never with his name. His somewhat befuddled demeanor and look unfortunately reminds me of myself. He seems almost like your more modern version of George Castanza. What is this guys back story?
Note from Scott: He's Jenkins. He's pretty much some loser I work with. I originally used the his artwork for a film producer, but likjed it so much I ended up using him for a coworker as well. At some point (sorry to be so non-specific, but it's all a blur to me) I explained that he was the producer, but that didn't work out so he came to work at the same office as I do.
@ Sara A: I've always been fond of "crotch-fruit", myself. (As a term - I'm in the happily child-free camp.)
I am a man who doesn't want kids, and I approve this comic.
I support the winning team... I am out numbered 3-to-1 in my house. I support my wife and daughters...
@9Squirrels
> After all, we need to limit our expanding population anyway, so
> you're doing the environment a favour by not having kids
Assuming that position to be sound (and not nihilistic), mainly the conscientious and responsible (if that's what they are) will stop, the irresponsible will rather not (because that's how they are). Care for (or obsession with) the environment is a middle class, uhm, privilege--a class that so will do away with itself. Idiocracy looms large, any which way. Besides, "to limit our expanding population" you could limit immigration, couldn't you? This on the assumption that millions of third worlders becoming Americans will enlarge their carbon footprint manifold--that's what they're coming for after all, else, they needn't bother. Just joking, of course--let's rather stop having kids.
As for the strip, it's funny, as usual, but also eerily jarring and sad, as it seems to have become PC somehow not to have kids (ironically, I've none either). Which is generally ok with me, as I fancy controversy, though this time my sensitivities are injured. Can't complain, though.
Somehow I don't see a couple of dudes having this conversation. I wouldn't believe at all that women could have a logical conversation like that without seeing/hearing it personally.
Argleblargle.
Some of us don't have a choice. My woman wants crotch-spawn (cheers, Sara A), and it's have the kid or lose the woman. Either way, it's all downhill.
Excellent Comic. I've found that repeatedly saying we aren't having kids doesn't work, so maybe I'll try a few of these examples for a change of pace. It still won't work, but I may have more fun.
Hits *extremely* close to home. Excellently executed, as usual.
It's worse when it's not by choice. Then you get to hear everyone's advice on what you should try doing, even though you've already tried everything that has a reasonable chance of success. You assume their intentions are good, but the effect is actually that they're tossing your failure in your face.
Pete and Hari,
I had a brother in law who insisted on asking when we having kids at every opportunity. I finally put him off by responding with, "Since when are my reproductive organs any of your business?" Apparently the discussion of organs is not for semi-polite company.
But Scott is right, some people won't accept your decision no matter what reason you give. Much like love, children are not the result of logic.
@Rowanthepreacger - lose the woman. I did, twice. Better to do that than to be saddled with a kid you don't want. That's unhappiness for three people and it's all your fault.
Thank you, Scott! That describes about 99% of conversations about why I don't want kids. I should just print this comic and use it as a handout instead of explaining from now on!
@PipeTobacco: I just look a Jenkins as the obnoxious, friendly, opinionated, must involve himself in every conversation, oblivious to social norms coworker.
I want kids but I would never try to "convert" someone that didn't want children. That's very rude. It's your life and I feel that if people don't live the way they want (without hurting others) then it will actually affect my own happiness.
As a forty-something woman without crotch-spawn, I'm blessed twice: 1. NO KIDS and 2. people have nearly stopped bugging me due to the assumption that my body has reached its limit. I would have loved to have had children earlier in life but now there's no way I could afford to raise them, and I really don't want to be in my nursing home years when they're just starting to like me again (or something).
Great comic, Scott! Yes, women do have this same conversation.
Note from scott: Oh, I know they do. If anything, my wife gets it worse than I do. When we tell people we don't want kids they tend to assume I'm just an ass. They seem to think there's something actively wrong with her.
Wow.... this got deep for my Wednesday morning laugh!
Comic is pure win, as always.
I've always been partial to "loin-fruit."
I do not like babies. I do not like toddlers. I have no desire at all to reproduce. If I were to have children the state would take them away because I'd probably use beatings as my primary source of discipline. I can't even take care of myself.
None of those responses worked.
When I looked thoughtful and said that having a child would enable me to increase the atheist population they dropped the "why don't you pop out a kid" conversation and went to ensure that my sister was being a good catholic and indoctrinating her spawn early.
I WILL, however, be a great aunt when the kid is old enough. Roller coasters and independent thought FTW!