How to Have A Horrifying Conversation

As you may have surmised, I've been pretty busy with this "new web page" thing. I ended up having to re post all of my comics, which was time consuming, but well worth it. Rather than run a repeat, I am posting this comic, which I actually made over a year ago, but never posted because it disturbed me terribly at the time. Everything Mullet-Boss says in the first 2.5 panels is a direct quote from a conversation I'd  had with a co-worker that day.

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Reader Comments (51)

I can see why you thought this one is disturbing, but I think it is one of your best ones. Every panel is great.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjdubya

Aw c'mon, I think you've really captured the essence of how sadism can be rationalized by a person as though they were a horse wearing blinders and repackaged as something productive, as if that hornet stinging the horse's behind is a spark of creativity sent from above...and at least that strip explains why mullet-boss is wearing bandoliers, hip boots and a thong at the halloween party (by the way, i do a great impersonation of you doing the scary voice...least my wife says so).

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChuck Creasy

IMHO and FWIW you gave the perfect responses. Denial, changing the subject or minimising would have felt rejecting.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaenad

I understand how that can be horrifying. It reminds me of the time where my friend described how he was going to kill his wife in such vivid detail that I had was properly terrified and scared for my life.

(He never did actually do that, thank goodness.)

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAxiomatic

That's just disturbing....

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChad

Excellent comic, but probably better that you didn't publish it immediately - your co-worker might have felt that was insensitive.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermr-tom

wow that really IS pretty disturbing actually!
but funny either way :D

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLenny

THIS seemed disturbing to you? And the one about hide ponchos seemed okay?

The more disturbing, the funnier it gets. I love the dead-pan questions your character asks.


December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSam

It's funny how every generation back seems to get successively worse in punishment. My father talks about how easy he was on me, and I'm sure grandpa thought he was going easy on dad. How far back do we have to go until we reach the rack-and-pinion and iron maidens of household punishment?

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKen

I loved the comic, and i also loved the "hot to make a repeating background" thingy :-)

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrox

I like that feeling you get when you find yourself accidentally revealing too much information - just before it's too late... and you have to decide if you should abruptly stop talking or go "all in"

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdid i say that out loud?

I used to be a homeless rodeo clown but now I am a world class magician !

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFPM

I enjoyed this piece for the grand candor that Scott speaks about, indeed, some of the most colorful conversations come from the work-place. Then again, colorful conversations can be engaged in any realm of this tormented life.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlfonso Coley

So am I the only one that thinks being disciplined as a child made me a better man today?

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYorn

I like the new web site design, and I love that the blog posts are right there under the comic so I don't have to click across to find them. Nice work!

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter9Squirrels

I just want to know what's on your mug. I'm squinting my ass off over here and can't quite make it out.

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCortJstr

Quite interesting to know that sometimes conversation can be diverted from a simple tone into a horrific ending. I guess, it depends on the 2 parties participating in the conversation.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKeith

Been there, did that, done that. Co-workers will freak you out with the things they tell you.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdeejeer

Well done. You could rerun it on Flog Like a Pirate Day :-)

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM. Möhling

yah ha hah :)

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDenim Blaine

Good one! But this conversation actually happened, didn't it?
PS: you've been Dugg!

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuggy

I could not stop laughing. I felt bad afterwards. I guess what is so funny is the rationalization for the abuse, not the abuse itself. I once read a book by Pat Buchanan, and he recalls his instances of childhood abuse (as the victim) so fondly it's disturbing. Memories!

On a side note, everyone should watch the "Dr. Phil" show.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertri1

How to Have A Horrifying Conversation (COMIC)...


December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWeb 2.0 Announcer

then tell him he should buy a go-kart

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjsmurfy

I got bare-butt spankings with the belt and the odd back hand at times growing up. Nothing I couldn't recover from quickly, mentally and physically. I would consider a beating to entail having my teeth chipped out and knocked unconscious.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBG

i think if someone started to talk to me about how there father used to "flog" them id probably say i had to be somewhere and walk away lol

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAeling

How about mentioning taboo topics, like class/race genetic differences, the tendency of democracies to fail, or the huge amount of random refined chemical preservatives in our food?

People really freak out when you do that.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrett Stevens

Wow . . . that . . . was . . .uh . . .hard to describe. It was funny and disturbing at the same time . . .It was FUNSTURBING!!!

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterizzy_wolfe_13

You're in a time machine! It says '07 !! and we're in the end of 08

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterigor

Haha. that's hilarious.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFree iPod

Please FPM, For god's sake, reconsider your misguided career choice! I have long nurtured my dream to live be a homeless rodeo clown. Why would a rodeo clown even need a home? Just bring the barrels and makeup along as you hitchhike. Currently, as a 'magician' I live a life of shame defrauding innocents, children and trusting audiences with conniving, misinforming 'tricks' that make fools of them all. I hate myself. If you want to see the awful effect that being a 'magician'' have one your soul, David Blaine had a personality when he started. The defense rests it's case.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick Major

@igor - in the comments at the bottom of the strip, it says that the strip was originally written a year ago. So in a way ... yes to the time machine.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermissy

"So am I the only one that thinks being disciplined as a child made me a better man today?"

You're the only one who thinks being disciplined made you a better man today.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterClayton

[...] bookmarks tagged inclusive Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer: Your all-inclus... saved by 3 others     extremejay1 bookmarked on 12/06/08 | [...]

December 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPages tagged "inclusive"

"Ken said...
It’s funny how every generation back seems to get successively worse in punishment. My father talks about how easy he was on me, and I’m sure grandpa thought he was going easy on dad. How far back do we have to go until we reach the rack-and-pinion and iron maidens of household"

Once they got that far back, they learned not to do anything bad enough to get punished, so children acted good enough they didn't need punishing.

December 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter$ (_) { |

Disturbing AND funny. What's better than that?

Also want to say how great it is that we can comment directly about each comic now, so I don't have to keep sending you e-mails like a sad groupie. Though, I can continue to do that if you'd miss it . .. .

December 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNomi

Nice. I like how this one veers from the normal slightly off-beat tone to the dark humor. You have to wonder did the conversation lead to this? This being the begining of a conversation would probably just as disturbing as the fact that he would say this. If not, how did this topic turn up? hmm...

December 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeil

[...] de conseils pour améliorer vos relations avec vos amis, vos collègues, vos parents. Par exemple, comment avoir une conversation horrible ? Il est vivement conseillé de suivre les instructions plutôt que les illustrations. Humour noir, [...]

Just reminds me of the time Mom hit me on the shoulder with a telephone. I always -did- bug her when she was talking on the phone... Never did after that, tho! :D

Your comic is awesome, good sir! Please keep it going as long as you possibly can!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJerodian

While the rest of your strips load without any problem whatsoever, this strip loads only half the of the first two panels and NOTHING ELSE. I've tried this both on your site as well as on my feed reader. Can you find out the cause?

December 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhello?
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