This is pretty much a true story. My older brother had a Green Machine, which was awesome. I had what we called a "Batman Machine," which was even better. My younger brother had a Big Wheel that wasn't in the same league. Dad buried driveway in gravel making it impossible to move fast, but insuring that all three of us had powerful leg muscles.
Also, for the record, someone I know used the line "they treat me like a mushroom." Later, he explained "they keep me in the dark." Neither I, nor the three other people there had ever heard it before, so we all just figured it was a manifestation of his insanity. Sorry about that.