How to Decide What to Do

Oh, by the way, ... FIRST!!! HA!!

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Reader Comments (43)

I think that you have done this before.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGregory Bogosian

NOT first!!! HA!!!

and speaking on behalf of the grammar sticklers, I can't WAIT to see what "Hershey Squirts" we get! I mean, um, I'm looking forward to having a comic-load of Hershey Squirts. Oh, wait, no, that doesn't work, either.

Just keep 'em coming, Hershey Squirts and all! (yikes)

oh, btw, it's not Fozzie the Bear. It's just Fozzie Bear. (I had to do it - you MADE me!)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

AGH! You TOTALLY should have used the Strunk and White idea. That is surprisingly a really good book, and predictably well written.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjustice_junkies

Judging by their grammatical advice, Strunk & White woud be even worse detectives than Inspector Bradstreet.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiguel

I feel honored to be mentioned in your comic, and flattered that you didn't call us pedants. Because, y'know.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNosey

Yeah, S&W are pretty good... except for their propensity to make up rules that don't really exist. Check out Language Log's Pullum for several nice diatribes on the subject.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterX

1. Strunk & White solving crimes with grammar? YES, PLEASE!

2. Bear-brother versus bear-brother. I could see it. But the rivalry would have to come down to wardrobe ... red shirts versus hideous bow-ties ...

3. Rorschach as in the Swiss psychologist or Rorschach as in the comic-book psycho? Inquiring minds want to know ... either of their journals would probably be disturbing in Scott Meyer form ...

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Waffles give you Hershey squirts? "If Rorschach was an idiot." Priceless!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeetron

Hershey Squirts sounds like something the flu once did to me.

BDGAA!! The final panel is so meta. You nailed every punchline, I think this is a new level of awesomemeness Scott.

I will remember third panel for a long, long time.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCornh

I'm for Hershey Squirts!

But, some self proclaimed grammar-nazi's, should check their own post before claiming themselves a grammar-nazi.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

How about White is murdered, and Strunk has to find out whodunnit, only it turns out Strunk has split personalities and HE done it! That's an award winning web comic idea is what that is! You're welcome.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeecat

I was just kind of drifting along until I hit the fourth panel. THAT'S where the big laugh was waiting for me.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick


September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWim

Adam: you meant "grammar nazis", not "grammar nazi's". The apostrophe puts the word in its possessive form, rather than plural.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist!

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterscgvlmiike

In fact, I bet if you applied the kind of heat, pressure and time required to make a diamond *to* a waffle, you would make the waffle into a diamond. A very small diamond, possibly with some residual deliciousness*, but a diamond nonetheless.

*I'm not sure which of the Four C's covers deliciousness. It can't come up all that often, but it seems unfair that a delicious diamond wouldn't be worth at least a little more...

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

We have to feel signifcant, Scott. You provide the opportunity for people that care about what you do to help out by pointing out potentially needed corrections. You do the hard stuff by creating the comic in the first place. The other come along and smooth out the rough edges.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAC

You should do a strip about strips that are not self-referential. And then have a character ask "Is this strip self-referential?"

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMattF

how about Winnie the Poo and Fozzie fighting over a jug of Hershey Squirts?

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJames Yeamans

The term "Hershey Squirts" makes me smile. I haven't heard that since I was a kid. I think I will most definitely resurrect it in my family next time one of us gets the Hershey Squirts. My boys will love wife will probably kill me.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

I had to google Rorschach's Journal. That made it even funnier the second time I read the comic!

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIts Alan

you have an idea file? wow, i thought you just wrote down what happened each week, and summed it up in a nice 12-panel program

(i particularly enjoyed the 5th panel today)


September 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterirrogical

Regarding the bears, I think, based on the geekiness Scott has portrayed in the past, Pooh, due to fashion choice, couldn't possibly survive past the first commercial break... er, panel.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSimon

@ Rebekah - Wow! I didn't think there would be any other crossovers between "Basic Instruction" fans and "Watchmen" fans. Cool!

On second thought, it makes sense - someone who likes the best web comic ever would obviously enjoy the best 12-issue graphic novel series ever!

@ Scott - lol on the first post! Good way to cut them off at the knees!

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSolak

Hershey Squirts. Pennsylvania Midget Football team? If a player gets hit so hard that he poops himself, does he "go all Inception" and have a squirt within a squirt? WE MUST GO DEEPER!

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertonyd

Winnie the Pooh and Fozzie bear are NOT the same color.

(interesting fact: Winnie the Pooh's real name is Edward)

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTom

If Rorschach WERE an idiot.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGrammar Stickler

Was Pooh, just a continuation of the Hershey Squirts idea? Just askin'....

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor

I laughed out loud when I read the first balloon in panel #2.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteve C.

Poor Rorschach. That's why I hate the ending of The Watchmen: NYC gets nuked, Rorschach is murdered, and the villainous Ozymandias prevails. What a terrible way to end an epic comic tale.

But at least Basic Instructions still rules.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOmega Paladin

Grammar "rules" are merely observations of a language. As such, they are guidelines outlining reasonable expectations of what someone would observe if they were stalking a language. Languages are formed by convention of use, not by conventions of people, by consensual use, not by consensus. There are no grammar laws hence no grammar police, except maybe in comic books...

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThom

If Pooh Bear does indeed, as his name implies, suffer from the "Hershey Squirts" - and since he wears a shirt but has never dared to don trousers, I think we can safely assume that he does - at least he presumably follows the proverbial bear etiquette and does it in the woods. Also, throughout the entire 45-episode run of "Monty Python's Flying Circus", on precisely one occasion was anybody offered honey to eat, and she replied: "No thanks, it makes me go plop-plops." Pooh Bear lives entirely on honey. I rest my case.

Fozzie Bear is of course a heavily disguised "Popeye" Doyle from "The French Connection" still trying to catch "Frog Number One" - the hat's a dead giveaway!

Rorschach never got what we in the UK, being unfamiliar with the products of the Hershey Corporation (possibly because notoriously stringent European food regulations forbid certain American confections from referring to themselves as "chocolate"), simply call "the runs", or in extreme cases, "squitters", though I'm at a loss to see how a mega-high-fiber no-protein-at-all diet gave him the energy to climb tall buildings and gratuitously flush vertically challenged people down toilets, as opposed to just sitting in his room all day letting off big ones - real Brown Bombers that rattled the windows and made the wallpaper peel. Is there room in Rocket Hat's team for a Rorschach wannabe called Blazing Saddle? His arch-enemy could be a corporate-sponsored midget called Hershey Squirt, who might actually thank anyone with the common sense to flush him down the toilet.

Oh, by the way, I once convinced an very gullible fellow indeed that "McFlurry" is an exceptionally virulent form of dysentery sometimes contracted by American tourists in Scotland from unpasteurized drizzle.

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterE. L. Wisty

You made "Cracked" relevant again:

(not that that's bad. I kind of want that cover to exist)

September 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergorski

Panel four FTW, but of course, the whole lead-up to it is great (and necessary for the win).

After Missy's Watchmen reference in panel three, I can't re-read this strip without imagining you using the film version Rorschach's voice throughout.

October 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCR

Mmmmm...Hersey Squirts. I don't know what they are but it sounds flippin' delicious.

October 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTabitha

@Solak: Wait, what? You didn't think that anyone who reads a webcomic by one of the geekiest men on earth, with frequest references to sci-fi and his own superhero universe, would have read one of the most popular comic series ever or seen the even-more-popular movie? I...I don't even...

October 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBill

Actually your "FIRST, HA!!!" comment was the funniest part of this comic. You rock, man.

October 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWow. Just...

Hey! I love Strunk & White. You should read them more.

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElyob

Panel 3 is pure win. I laughed so hard! :-)

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Fourth panel is pure gold

October 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlan
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