It has come to my attention that this comic bears a strong resemblance to a bit by Patton Oswalt (you should listen to it. He's really great. I once spent an evening in a cheesy piano bar with him. Really good guy), and possibly George Carlin (Never got to meet him. Know people who did. They say he was kind, but grumpy). The resemblance was unintentional, and I apologize to both of them or their surviving realatives, whichever is most appropriate.