How to Face Certain Death

Note: If any of my readers works or knows anyone who works in the R&D department at Columbia (the sportswear company, ... not the country) I am literally begging to help you test this fabric. I work at WALT DISNEY WORLD!! Do you know what Orlando is like in the summer?! It's like living in a vegetable steamer. My coworkers and I could supply you with valuable data about the product's performance, and give you marketing quotes like you've never seen.

"Now, instead of sprinting to my air-conditioned car, I simply walk very quickly. - Scott Meyer."

"This shirt helped restore my will to live. - Scott Meyer."

"I'm able to go outside without screaming. - Scott Meyer"

Please think about it. Ball's in your court.


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Reader Comments (35)

Wow. Who has that fabric so far, and where can I mug them? I'll need that in about a month here in San Diego. Hilarious comic btw, the superhero ones are always your best.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Fawkes

I'm gonna build me a pummeltorium. Yep.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

Since I live fairly close to Disney World, I've been during the summer. I feel your pain, but not all of it, because I'm in doors usually.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

If you're looking for "an Altoid for your skin", I think that you already know how to get one.

Note from Scott: Yes, but I can't apply peppermint soap while walking around town.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterploeg

As soon as I saw the strip title in my RSS feed, I knew it was going to be a Rocket Hat strip. I was not disappointed.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

As someone who grew up in Tampa, I would like to offer my comments regarding life in the Orlando heat. Those comments are: "Ha ha, you are in Orlando. Ha, I say. Ha."

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChaon

Greg, if you build a Pummeltorium, I shall be a combatant.

Dibs in the sack of pointy moon-weapons.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Rob

About the "Treat me like mushrooms" strip the other day, I just read George RR Martin's Storm of Swords, and Tyrion Lannister says (about his sister Queen Cersei):"She is treating me like a mushroom, keeping me in the dark and feeding me shit"

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOedlan

Hi Scott. What do you do in WDW? Do you have to dress up as Mickey? I'd imagine that has to be the worst job in the world at summer time.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergoosemonster

"Landedon the sack of pointy weapons". Great when pictured in my head!

What part of Disney do you work in? I'll be there in late August and I think that fabric could help keep me cooler.

Note from Scott: I got several variations on the question "Where at Walt Disney World do you work?" I'm currently at the front desk of the Grand Floridian. It gives me contact with the guests, provides me with insurance, and is something I can give absolutely zero thought once I've clocked out meaning I can think about the comic. It also mostly keeps me indoors in a partially air conditioned environment.

Feel free to come by and say hi.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermohrorless

I've never noticed how awesome the moon man logo is before. Guess I'm usually distracted by the Rocket Hat dialogue.

Any plans for a Moon Man merchandise range?

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStevens

Why, why did the Moon Emperor go into to the Pummeltorium? His plan was go give up, wouldn't it be a bit easier to start that way?

That said, having him fall on the sack of pointy moon-weapons was perfect.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt Silberstein

I think Disney any time of year is miserable, but during summer, even more so. I need that if I stay here in Orlando.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I like the guy from San Diego pretending it ever gets uncomfortable. "Oh no, summer's coming, it's going to jump from 78 to 81 during the day!! The humidity might hit 28%!"

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBobman

@Oedlan: yeah, but that is a really old saying. George RR Martin did not come up with it.

Love the comic.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBill

You have a few recurring themes in your comic -- Rocket Hat, for instance -- and I know on more than a few occasions, I've wanted to read all the Rocket Hat comics in one sitting. Is there any way using your software that you can tag, categorize, or make searchable your comics?

I have no idea how difficult such a feature would be to introduce, but it seems like it would be very easy for me to use, so if you don't get it done immediately I will think you are a lazy jerk because I am an internet customer. Love the comic! Thanks! :D

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDel

As a fellow resident of Central Florida and former employee of Disney's local nemesis (I used to work at Universal) I can say that I truly feel your pain.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViking

if you work at disney, how can you have any angry customers, let alone repeat angry customers?! its the happiest place on earth after all


June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterirrogical


June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterProb

Actually, there's not a country called Columbia. There is one called Colombia, though.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTC

Haven't i seen the same poses in the same 4 panels in other rocket hat comics?

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Rob, I shall invite Rocket Hat to combat with you! Careful not to fall on the bag of pointy moon weapons.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

I'm like a cat in heat about that fabric...I need it NAAOOOW NAAOOOW NAOOWWWW!
I'm working in boiler rooms this summer, and I have to put labels on pipelines that are insulated with fiberglass. Yes, fiberglass particles get all over the outside. No, I can't stand to wear long sleeves in that heat
Yes, I grind fiberglass particles into my skin.
Scott, is there any way we can petition Columbia to speed up testing?

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDee

i am a mailman in Tennessee and I want some underwear made of that cloth.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeimos

sorry for the double post, but if you work are Disneyworld are you guys building a pummeltorium?

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeimos

The last time that I was in central Florida, I fell asleep--on a porch--in a rocking chair. Disclaimer: I am not a nap taker. From that point forward:

1. I understood the siesta concept
2. I vowed to never be in central Florida before, say, October of each year

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSoul of Wit

@Dee: Do the labels say "WARNING! fiberglass particles get all over the outside. Wear long sleeves or you may grind fiberglass particles into your skin"?

June 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNotoriousREV

@Jason; Yes, and welcome to Basic Instructions, where the creator, Scott, traces actual photos of his characters to make his comic, and therefore, poses are repeated. That's the unique flavor here, and it has always been so.

June 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBWM

Truly LOL. My kids and pets are looking at me strangely after that outburst.

June 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbigjsl


June 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

-gift pensROCKET HAT!!!

June 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergift pens

Never pictured you as front desk of the grand floridian type, always thought you where one of the preformers. Like maybe a tower of terror guy. Not that there's anything wrong with the hotel, I hired one of the pontoon boats from there and thought the hotel looked great.

Note from Scott: I actually spent three years working at the Tower of Terror.

June 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergoosemonster

Nice young frankenstein reference. I'm surprised I actually got. Great strip

July 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTj young

Wait...are you the guy in the Minnie Mouse suit?

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

"Imperial Pummeltorium"

May 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterqwerty
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