How to Win at Monopoly Without Losing a Friend

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Reader Comments (39)

oh man, me and my brother would have 8 hour games sometimes. he will never let me forget about my mobile hotel ponsy scam

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterisiah

This comic reminds me why I hate Monopoly

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristiann

...I'll tell you what I'd like *you* to do with your Toblerone bar

You certainly thought of that and discarded it for being overly naughty and obvious. Yet, I feel it's the imposing version. Isn't humour a lemon that begs for being squeezed? :-)

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM. Möhling

...rather a compelling version, I guess. Us non-native speakers have funny ways, sometimes. Hey, wait, I'm a bloody foreigner but I'm a native-speaker, too, come to think of it. But you get my drift... Humor ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht. No, I'm not fussy, why do you ask?

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM. Möhling

my family used to play monopoly regularly, until my english husband got into some weird intense grudge match with my cuz' german girlfriend. we all fell away, and indeed, fell asleep, but they continued. at 2am i had to take the pieces out of their nerveless fingers and proclaim the game a draw. we never played again...

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhiterabbit11

...17-day-long game... Then I took the greens and yellows... Boardwalk/Park Place followed... Those poor people, they never stood a chance.

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Rob

Ah! That's why I don't play monopoly anymore. Any luck bastard will continuously beat you for 3 or more hours.

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiago

My brother and I would play Monopoly. I hated it because he would ALWAYS win it. On the other hand, I loved RISK and he hated it because I would always win that. Both games are won decisively and losing is protracted. My brother threw the RISK board across the room several times growing up...I don't remember ever throwing the Monopoly board.

Thanks for the memories Scott.

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermahdi_raen

That's why we called it "Monotony" in my house!

And I'm obviously clueless, but today I noticed the repeating background for the first time - very funny!

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwac

@ Whiterabbit - it's an English/German thing, don't worry about it.

As for being able to play monopoly and not losing freinds - there is only one thing to do, Do NOT open the box, put the box back in the cupboard and play something else.

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Breen

*puts down box, backs away slowly* *Pulls out cross* May the power of christ compel you . . . to burn the game!

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterizzy_wolfe_13

I disagree... I think if RICK is the one doing *blank* with the bar, then he gets to exact his own revenge... plus, look at Rick's face - what's more "imposing" than being threatened with deadpan delivery? As it was a lead-in to the next line (sometimes, we have to read the whole thing to get the humor), it's perfect as written... maybe the point was to get YOU to fill in that blank...

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

well, in that case, you better not pull out Trivial Pursuits either!

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

I will memorize these instructions and always do the opposite. It's much more fun.

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC.S.Strowbridge

You're right, Trivial Pursuit is just as bad.
It can get to the stage where just playing snap can become a full contact blood sport as well though.

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Breen

Monopoly is still a lot more fun than Socialism, where all the properties are worthless and no one has money to buy them from the government anyway. Half of the spaces are "Go To Jail" and the other half are "Stand in lline for shoes and bread".

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTreehog

" Soviet Russia, Boardwalk build hotel on YOU!"

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

Maybe it's a matter of preferences: while I wouldn't mind at all getting my revenge, I'd much rather have my opponent do funny things with Toblerone bars to himself--helping in *that* process just isn't my cup of tea. But yes, the next line would need to be amended, it's implied: "That's your business, sir, but you'll be charged even if you don't eat it." Arguably, killing redundancy squeezes what needs squeezing even more effectively. Scott: just my 2c, the strip is fine, of course. I guess it's just a matter of two loyal fans being, um, anal about issues. However, if that's fine with your alter ego, who am I to object?

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM. Möhling

ah, yes, the memories of sore-losing family members... my father would always declare "EARTHQUAKE!" if we were playing a board game he'd gotten bored with... and we lived in Miami...

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramona

In my house if you went to the bathroom you were likely to be robbed, or your property to be taken because of "emanate domain" and given to someone else that could better use it.

It made Monopoly a much tougher game.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCBS

SWEET! wish it was like that @ my house, . . . but NO!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterizzy_wolfe_13

Yep, this is exactly why I hated Monopoly! The being charged even if you don't eat it is priceless, though!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKai

...don't make me say dirty things in your native tongue and then quote Einsteurzende Neubauten lyrics at you....'cos that's about all I really COULD do.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

ah Izzy, you should see our horrorshow of board games...all consist of a scrabble board and a bad idea, like the time we decided to allow esperanto and klingon slang terms...or the time we thought the all-hebrew version might be a fun idea...then there was strip scrabble, and of course scrabble, the drinking game...which became another version of strip scrabble, which became another game entirely. but it all beat the hell out of monopoly

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

please be careful in your sharing of your perverse versions of "good family fun" as miss izzy is still a minor child amongst us. but thanks for the fun, fab ideas for those of us who are of age! :)

when i was in college we would play 'star trek drunk' while watching the original series in reruns... ah, the joy of drinking shots to shatner's melodrama!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

Excellent Matthew Broderick movie reference

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCloud89x

Just to clarify, my intent was that Ric was threatening to do something to me with the bar, but I turned it around as if he intended to do it to himself.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterscott

This was a great first panel.

Monopoly was much much different after we really read the rules. A person lands on property. If s/he does not buy it, it immediately is up for auction to all players. So you lowball, then try to get other players to buy something they don't want...or you get it for cheap. A WHOLE non-luck strategy is in play.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchrism

[...] I used to love playing Monopoly when I was younger. With the group I was playing with things could get a bit heated since we were all very competitive and losing was not an option. It would have been nice to have this comic back then, How to win at monopoly without losing a friend. [...]

March 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter» Blog Archive » T

I just came across this strip, and I'm a bit confused. People win at Monopoly? Meaning, people actually successfully finish games of Monopoly? Surely you must be kidding.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrusi

I agree. This comic explains in detail why people shouldn't play Monopoly.

If you want a cruel, demoralizing victory, at least play Settlers of Catan so it can be finished in under two hours.

November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRadien

Whenever I play monopoly, nobody EVER lands on a property and doesn't buy it, so that rule is pretty useless anyway =/

November 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDa Linz

i love that last line

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterme

Ah, this brought back memories of when my dad decided it was time he taught my sister and I Monopoly as kids: He fondly remembered playing it with his brothers, though "Somehow [his older brother] always won".

After setting up the board, Dad decided to read the rules, which he'd never read before as it was his older brother who taught him. I still remember it well:

The slowly fading smile...
The sudden silence...
My dad's shriek of rage when he descovered that his brother had been cheating all those years...

...and that, Dear Children, is how I learnt to cuss ;)

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQueen_Undine

Alas, but I am a speed loser too... But lets not go there. Great comic Scott!

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOnions

When I used to play, there was always that ONE person who had to be the "Banker", what a cop-out!
No! You pick a game-piece, (I don't care if the only one left is the Thimble), and you suffer with the rest of us!

July 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLouie

The key to a reasonable-length Monopoly game is avoiding those house rules that put more money into the game. That pot of gold on Free Parking sounds nice, but all it does is drag out the game. Disclaimer: Those with a lot of free time may actually desire a marathon game.

March 12, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSoul of Wit

Maybe you should switch to playing Paranoia. At least then losing is a foregone conclusion, and yet it can be its own reward.

Don't say you don't play Tabletop RPG's, Scott. I would have to revoke your g-word privileges. You could no longer call yourself a "geek".

July 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArchive Binging
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