How to Speak an Unpopular Truth

I can’t be the first person to point out that having “Moves like Jagger” isn’t a good thing, but a point this important is worth repeating.

Also worth repeating is my gratitude to all of you who are using my Amazon Affiliate links  (USUKCanada).


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Reader Comments (49)

That's certainly a backhanded complement at best...though still better than "Handsome like Richards".

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGawain

Er... he's not talking about Jagger's DANCE moves...

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTim Keating

A point like this may be worth repeating, but not at the expense of my sanity for having been reminded of this absolutely terrible song er, uh, genre.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTheMortallyWounded

Curious, I was just thinking about Sir Michael yesterday. I'd head a song, "Tik Tok" by Kesha (or Ke$ha), describing a night of clubbing. It included the lines
"the boys are lining up 'cause they hear we have swagger/
But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."

This woman was born in 1987. I suppose the full sentiment of 'unless they look like Mick Jagger did when my parents were entering puberty' would have complicated the rhyme scheme.

Also, thank you for the image of a chicken attempting to imitate a horse.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

In all fairness, the song says "moves" and not "dancing skills", and have you ever seen a video Jagger at a live show?!? HE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE! ALL THE TIME! It's like a curse was put on him to make his feet boil if he stops moving for more than 3 seconds... Or he's possessed by a chicken with equine aspirations.
That being said those lyrics are dumb, but to me the irony just makes the song more fun.

The second panel describes one darn talented chicken.

Haven't watched any video of Jagger recently enough to have an opinion. Well, I do have one, but my opinion is that I don't care.

I love BI though. This continues the theme of people getting really passionate about things that don't matter to most other people.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMP

To the above, Jagger has always been legendarily ugly. It was noted that he was the best example of music being more important than looks as far as getting women--if someone as hideous as him can get the girls with enough musical skill, anyone can.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Chosen One

I too have this skill. Gleefully will I crap all over the prized music of the 1970s, and I'm not even talking disco (which is too easy). In particular I loathe the low female vocals of that era and their cruel tendencies toward singing folk. But I can also dump on the music of the newer generations too, or at least what passes for music since most of it doesn't have a melody. I refuse to believe, however, that Nicki Minaj represents the next generation's music, or indeed any kind of music at all.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLummox JR

Not a fan of Maroon 5, but I'll give them credit that at least they didn't rhyme it with 'swagger'.

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRemy

To be fair, the man once managed to put the "moves" on David Bowie...

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

"Whines like Meyer." Man, you're gonna have a SONG named after you! I'm so jealous!!!

June 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKierkegaard

Tastes differ. I'm about the same age as Jagger and to me, he was visually appealing back in the day. But Elvis Presley, ugh.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Tim's comment up there is right--it's a Maroon Five song, which means that it's about the only thing it can be about: how great Adam Levine is at sex.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I have to second Robert's comment - that was the first thing I thought of after reading this comic. Ke$ha (pronounced keh-dollar-sign-ha, I assume) apparently throws parties so awesome that they only accept blokes who look like a baseball glove that's been soaking in vinegar for 30 years. Or a ballsack.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm somewhat amazed that Graham (don't ask how long it took me to find his name in the archives) thought that the people in the video were actually dancing well.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPackbat

I agree with Remy on the swagger part!

Am a great fan of the song and the video!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterreader

I am advance-ordering "Whines Like Meyer" on itunes.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBruce

At last, a kindred spirit, all Jagger has is a dyspeptic chicken strut, and if 'moves' doesn't refer to dancing, I'm not sure just having butt loads of money really counts as a move. And to Robert, maybe 'look like Mick Jagger' means looking like you have a butt load of money.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

There's already a song parody called "Moves Like Frogger", much better than the original, at least if you know the game Frogger:

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeter Andersson

A new smash hit from the creators of Whines like Meyer:
Fails like Rick.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWilla

You aren't the only one. I've been screaming it since it first showed up. Who in their right mind thinks that Jagger had moves?!

It's only an improvement if you formerly had "Moves like Cocker" (Joe).

There's been a few of these lately, where the "musician" references an older artist. Some guy claiming to be like Ray Charles, purely because he's got his shades on, and another which has completely escaped my mind while I wrote this sentence :( Sign of my age.

And Remy, don't even get me started on f**&ing Swagger Jagger. Tom Lehrer said that Clementine was a musical turd excreted by the musically illiterate*. Cher Lloyd heard the turd and reached for the polish.

* I'm paraphrasing.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChuck

I read the last line and was thinking, yeah, I could get behind a song mocking John Mayer, why wait for someday?

But yours is good too! :)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

This reminds me of a great Sunday strip of Bloom County from back in the day.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDan R-M

I'm going to have to go out there and agree with Tim -- this isn't a song about dancing.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSean

until my seven year old came home singing this song and I looked it up; I had liked Maroon5
that ended immediately

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon. coward

Panel four is right.
These are the things that no one ever told me in my youth;
a pretty lie will get you by much better than the truth...

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDee

I invite you to consider the song, "Swagger Jagger". I am not making that up. The title appears to mean "One who imitates the graces of another..

Freddie Starr aped my Jagger - I wonder if you've heard of him.

Or of Max Wall, who did it before Mick Jagger did.

See also

Jerry Hall. Carly Simon. Margaret Trudeau. Carla Bruni. Edith Grove.


That's good moves.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobert Carnegie

I hear the song was going to be 'moves like Jagielka' but it only scanned well in Polish. :p

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConfused-Us

Wait. You're all judging pop music based on the defensibility of its lyrics? Excuse me, but... are you from the past?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterboojum

"Mick Jagger dances like a chicken that's imitating a horse" would be an awesome fortune to pull from a cookie.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Anyone who moves like Jagger should probably get some physical therapy. Also, anyone who looks like Jagger should probably get some booze. Because beer goggles is the only way Jaggerwockys can get lucky. My significant other has informed me that "if I ever look like Jagger", she will leave me for a more attractive man. Unless I am as rich as Jagger. Then she will stay.
I think that is the real message in the song. "moves like Jagger" is actually just code for "makes money like Jagger".

also, @mp: hilarious. I too am passionate about things that don't matter. I think that, if you took a poll, most of the reader of this comic would feel the same. As Scott obviously does.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterabcnews

So, how 'bout Plastic Bertrand's sweet moves?

He makes Jagger look like Fred Astaire!

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbill

It is so nice to be in the company of like minded people. The truth is like getting into a warm bath. A little difficult at first, but once you're balls deep in it you can relax.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrank

The song is referring to his skills performing oral sex. When he refers to Jagger I think he really means the Rolling Stones logo of the gigantic tongue.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephen

Anyone likely to be impressed by the comparison to Jagger is unlikely to actually like the song anyway.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNot Mick

To those not understanding the appeal of Jagger:

People find people with full lips attractive. They generally are good kissers. Fronting one of the all-time best bands and being richer than Midas doesn't hurt either.

As for the song, I find it infectious. My previous opinion of Maroon 5 had been that of a pop band led by that guy on that reality show with the spinny chairs. No, not that ripoff reality show. The original one with the spinny chairs.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSoul of Wit

This is a much better version, IMHO. :)

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaa

You ain't lying about his dancing. When I first heard the song, I thought "is he really telling the world he can't dance?"

Great conclusion to the topic, too. Bash at yourself to distance yourself from most modern-music-genre haters.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThestas

the only version of "moves like jagger" that I find listenable is the jazzy, ipad-y version with the legendarily bearded Jordan Rudess.

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff Sepeta

Are the lyrics really all that important? I mean, who really even understands the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody, the greatest rock song of all time?

June 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

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