How to "Booze It Up" with Maximum Efficiency

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Reader Comments (36)

Hehehe! Yes, hang out with people who do and keep a video camera handy. Blackmail material made of solid gold.

March 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

If you're not a lightweight, take a break from drinking for a month or so, you will then be a lightweight once again. When I was at uni, I'd stop drinking during exam time, then get totally legless after the last exam because I'd forget that I hadn't drunk in a month.

March 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter9Squirrels

I like the comic, but *here* is a guy who has thought about the most efficient ways to get (and stay) drunk: .


March 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob

Odd that this would hit just after one of my friends confided in me that she took drunkenness to new levels last night and has some regrets today...exercising your precognitive abilities again, Scott?

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGryffin

Being a lightweight is the only thing I'm good at. I can get drunk for $1.25 while my friends spend at least twice as much.

I'm still a poor drunk man.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

They are talking in the UK about upping the price of a unit of alcohol to reduce the incidences of drunkeness. The plan is that the cheapest bottle of wine would cost at least £5. At the current rates of exchange I guess that's near enough $5. However in our nearest neighbour, France, an average price per bottle is £1.20 - I guess that's a Supermarket price. In France they have no concerns about alcohol at all. Except that too much none-French wine is being drunk and that kindergarten kids are drinking lager instead of healthy red wine. Actually I saw a 3 year being given rose wine to drink in a local pub / restaurant. I guess that IS illegal in the UK? I didn't say anything, obviously, didn't want to cause a scene.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike Geordie

In the UK, our government thinks they have to supervise every decision we make since we're too fat, drunk and stupid to be trusted. Of course, the problem is that most people keep proving the government right....

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLolaBaby

When I was kid I took my sips of wine in some special dinners, also sometimes I eat "bread, sugar and wine" it was quite good he he, but I never been on drinking really, I am not giving it to my kids, but I do not thing that not giving this "cultural wine to build taste" would prevent that they would, eventually hang out an drink often (usually not wine). Maybe this BI would be more than useful for them ...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrancesc

At least your drinking age is 18. Here, you can fight and die for your country at the age of 18 because you're apparently old enough and wise enough to make that choice. However, you can't have a beer until you're 21 because until then you're too young and irresponsible to make that choice. Wonderful logic we have in the states.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I've been a lightweight since 1995 when I got my driving license, as soon as it got round I didn't mind driving places so long as the people I gave a lift to covered my (non-alcoholic), drinks for the night, my opportunities to drink seemed to disappear and never returned...
Still, driving since 95 with a clean license is a decent boast.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDan Breen

The facial expression looks similar to the "How to Hide Your Yawn", without the movement wobble lines indicating it may be a stroke. That inspires me to suggest that perhaps a Facial Expression Greatest Hits be put together by some enterprising chap. There are some great ones out there - seek thee out the look on Scott's face while trying to quietly open a candy bar at the theater. Ah...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKolsen

Father's an alcoholic... many of his ancestors were as well... it hit my generation but not me... I'm definitely a lightweight, probably mostly because I can't see the point of drinking to excess night after night after night, particularly if the booze doesn't actually TASTE good (or smell good, for that matter) in the first drink. Never understood the logic in "it's an acquired taste" when what you're acquiring a taste for destroys your liver and can kill or harm you or others if you get wasted before driving away from the bar...
btw, Scott, I don't remember you, but I do remember serving the drink you ordered in panel three quite often to the belligerent drunks at the establishments where I tended bar! Nice facial expression! :)

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

Interesting. You seem to be implying that fulfilling an obligation to serve your country is, or somehow should be, tied to the privilege of buying alchololic beverages. And by the way, often in our past those who served in the military didn't choose to do so; they were drafted. So 'choice' had nothing to do with it. The current economic slump is probably the only thing preventing a return to the draft now. I don't see the connection. :)

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

The most efficient way to booze it up is via the alcoholic enema. I am disappointed I have yet to receive any Basic Instructions on this important topic. Also, if you do it wrong, it'll kill you.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRoger

im not a light weight. I'm just alcohol efficient

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermb16

I know THAT one all too well!

I used to be the guy that could have, like, 12 drinks and stay standing. Now, one Black Russian(my drink of choice) and I'm pretty much done.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Rob

The connection is simply this: If you are old enough to vote, serve in the military, be independent financially and make all your other life choices on your own, why the restriction on alcoholic beverages? You can make any other decision in your life at that point except whether or not to drink. The logic just doesn't make sense. I chose fighting and dying for your country to make the point simply because it's the one that stands out to me as being the biggest contrast. You can risk your life on a daily basis fighting, but can't mourn the death of a comrade over a cold one. Also, in the 70s when the draft was such a big issue, the drinking age was set by the states often at the age of 18. It was only since 1988 that we had a uniform drinking age across the nation. Now, everyone in the military signed up for it since the draft hasn't been used since the early 80s in the Cold War.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Amen, Susan! You've perfectly summed-up the exact same thing I was thinking. Rock on.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMantastic

Turned 21 today. This is awesome. Thanks for the birthday present, haha...

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKira

I fall down and pass out if someone breathes beer and pizza near me...I USED to be the drunk punk rocker starting fights at I'm a dad.

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

upping the price sounds like just another way to keep the irish down! =D

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

except the irish.

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

wow susan, you sound like a certain mojo nixon song from the early 80s called "burn down the malls"...of course mojo nixon is insane, and HIS reasons were just as the way, you CAN buy beer, IF you're serving your country, at 18.

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

I hear ya...driving with a clean license since '84 here.

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

I find the most fun to have with alcohol and alcohol-oriented people is to constantly talk about the liquors you like...because they would like to have them, and if you don't drink by choice, like me, you couldn't care less...i find it amusing to watch their pain. Glad I'm off work tonight. I'm celebrating Leprechaun Day because it's my 2 year anniversary of quitting smoking...not about to pick up another vice I laid down long ago. Cheers!

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

Don't forget the fact that you can't vote until 18 but you get taxed before that. Didn't we start some war over taxation without representation? If you're old enough to pay taxes, shouldn't you have a say in how those taxes are spent?

Should we lower the voting age, give an unlimited tax deduction to minors, or refuse them work?

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAaron

STILL - "How to Fake a Smile" has the best. Faces. Ever.

March 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

congrats to you on your milestone, Mr. McSickfingers. it's been 4 years of smoke freedom for me, and while I don't have other vices to give up for Lent or anything (not that I'm THAT pure, mind you, I'm just not so addicted to anything else I might need to give it up), I'm very proud of the relatively clean life I've been living... let's hear it for the lightweights! especially those of us who've also cleaned up our lungs! Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

see, what you've done there, mike, is to confuse the phrase "obligation to serve your country" with "coersion to die for your government"

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterphilthD

None is righteous, no not one...I still drink a LOOOOOOT of coffee and sodas, and, everything else I think is covered by marriage. Didn't God say something about spouses making one another cuss and that's okay? MMM, maybe not.

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

Why the hell did I stop drinking?
..................... I forgot!!!!

Congrats on quitting smoking, I just passed the 1 year mark myself.

May 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFred

I found out that you can be veeeery efficient with booze if you drink it with carbonated beverages, through a straw, after giving blood. Two drinks does it!

November 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDa Linz

"Odd that this would hit just after one of my friends confided in me that she took drunkenness to new levels last night and has some regrets today...exercising your precognitive abilities again, Scott?"

Well, considering that her story is only vaguely related to the comic (it is related to "drinking," but nothing else is similar) I would say that hundreds of thousands of people a day have conversations that Scott can detect via his clairvoyance.

November 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAtari

I've had the conversation in the last panel verbatim with a friend before ever reading this comic. He was the Scott. Three guesses who I was.

May 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBenson

I vote that the name of your drink should be the "Can You Hear Me Now?"

Made by surly bartenders to get even with the annoying patron who won't shut up to his friends or get off his cell phone. Works in two ways, both fun for the bartender:

1) The patron notices the dirty rag taste or gets a bit of bar debris in his mouth, does one heck of a spit take, and hopefully gets the message.
2) He drinks the whole thing without even thinking. Bonus satisfaction comes from the fact that you can charge him for a real drink and he'll never know.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterImage
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