How to Create a Hypothetical Business

Sadly, there are a few smaller operations in the Orlando area that are pretty close to executing this marketing gimmick by accident.

One of the hundreds of crazy things about Orlando, Florida is that many business operators look at a city that boasts two of the largest, most famous theme parks in the world and say to themselves, “I think I’ll open a tiny little theme park next to a strip mall.”

Cruise down International Drive and you’ll see roller coasters, water parks, go-kart tracks, and mini golf courses that, if they were located in (oh, let’s say) Yakima, Washington, would be treated like the eighth wonder of the modern world. Instead, they sit on an asphalt pad across the street from Baskin Robbins and “Fairvilla’s Sexy Things,” and get patronized by teenagers who are already irritated that their parents didn’t spring for park passes to cover every day of the trip.

When Missy and I first moved to Orlando, there was an abandoned building shaped like a skull, with a dilapidated sign out front that read “A Haunted Attraction,” Which would be a FANTASTIC name for a goth band.

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