Thank you for bringing back the goofball motivational speaker. Seeing him thwarted makes me happy.
I really want to see one with the motivational speaker and the angry client. And then one with the motivational speaker and Rick. I don't anticipate any of these going better for the speaker, but we the readers will all win.
I've got to say I like the dress code at, what is it, Mullet-Corp? We dress like that where I work, but it's a blue collar technical facility where we have almost no direct contact with customers. For an office, Scott's imaginary job seems pretty relaxed.
We have a personality type test, too. It's known as working with people long enough to know what to expect from them.
I answered a big one of these a few years ago. Answered all questions as accurately and honest as I could. Apparantly I'm a very aggressive, authoritarian, incompassionate alturist. I asked what that meant (since I scored max on alturism, but apparantly was very willing to kill people to further my goal of helping humanity). The psychologist said it was what he'd expected Stalin would score. ... I hope I'm better now.
I suppose Mullet Boss scored high on the "guillible" portion of the test?
On a side note, thank you Scott for the Amazon link that suggests many people buy all three of your books together. If it's a good enough choice for lots of people that I don't know, then it's a good enough choice for me!
Hey Gawain and Paddy, a "front facing fanny-pack" could still accurately be described as as a "fanny-pack" if the wearer is British and female. In Britain a "fanny" is not a buttocks, but is slang for "vagina." [insert "The More You Know" gif here]
Reminds me of when a company I was with did the FISH Program (which comes from the fish market in Pike Place Market in Seattle). Management spent thousands to learn 4 obvious tenets of running a business. I abused the system for my own amusement.
I got tested when I was 10, in elementary school. The tester called my mother in alarm; "I asked her to draw a girl, and she drew herself sitting in a chair, facing away! she's turning her back on the world!" My mother asked me about this. I answered "They're always saying 'you won't be graded on this, and then grading and judging. He said 'draw *a girl*'. I can't draw faces or hands, so I tried to reproduce the sketch a classmate of mine did awhile back of the girl sitting in front of her, because that angle didn't involve a face or hands." My mother tore the tester a new one for giving her child (and only her child, it wasn't a whole class thing) psychological tests without parental permission, and for being enough of an idiot to think a ten year old in a messed-up school system is going to respond exactly the same as a four year old when you say "draw a girl". It was a beautiful thing to listen to!
Mullet boss predictably hired a motivational speaker that reminds him of himself - they both inspire unity of purpose in the employees that is tangential or hostile to their desired goals.
Oh dear. I wanted to mess up the test, but knew that they would know... which kind of means, if they already knew what my personality was, why were they paying someone to have me take a test on it...
Also, I want to hang this up at work but suspect it would be seen as troublesome.
As an aspiring supervillain myself, I take umbrage at the idea of this weenie becoming one. Still, perhaps he'd make an interesting foe for the Human Joke Knifeketeer.
Aidan - I refer you to here: http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2012/12/13/how-to-make-a-public-service-announcement-yet-again-yearly-r.html
The last time I took one of these personality tests, they told me to skip the questions that made me feel uncomfortable. So I didn't answer any of them. The results: I'm an INTJ.
Worry not, Gawain. As You can see from my post, I mistyped loads of stuff (actually, I think that the computer changes stuff when I'm not looking - yours probably does the same. They resent it because we are in charge even though we are less clever, in cybernetic terms)
And Johncraig - I'm British - I know what a 'fanny' is, thank you, but it is a term that no lady would use in mixed company when referring to her 'front bottom'. :)
Wow, I had to take one of these at a former job... we all thought it was a waste of time and money (which, ultimately, I think even the bosses must have realized, but I've moved on and don't really know nor care). If only I'd thought about the 'middle finger' plotting of the results, I would have tried like crazy to have made it so!
January 22, 2013
Reader Comments (31)
Love the front-facing fanny pack. A public pouch?
Thank you for bringing back the goofball motivational speaker. Seeing him thwarted makes me happy.
I really want to see one with the motivational speaker and the angry client. And then one with the motivational speaker and Rick. I don't anticipate any of these going better for the speaker, but we the readers will all win.
I answered one of these things as a sociopath once as a form of protest back in college. Kinda came back to bite me later.
Will motivational speaker have a super-hero alter ego?
I've got to say I like the dress code at, what is it, Mullet-Corp? We dress like that where I work, but it's a blue collar technical facility where we have almost no direct contact with customers. For an office, Scott's imaginary job seems pretty relaxed.
We have a personality type test, too. It's known as working with people long enough to know what to expect from them.
I'm not sure I would know which answers would indicate I was a sociopath. Maybe that means I am one. Oh dear.
I answered a big one of these a few years ago. Answered all questions as accurately and honest as I could.
Apparantly I'm a very aggressive, authoritarian, incompassionate alturist. I asked what that meant (since I scored max on alturism, but apparantly was very willing to kill people to further my goal of helping humanity). The psychologist said it was what he'd expected Stalin would score.
...
I hope I'm better now.
Hi Gawain
( qoute: Love the front-facing fanny pack. A public pouch?)
Do you mean pubic pouch? If so, I like it - it's rude.
I answered these things like a total nut back in the army, so they decided to make me an officer.
"We'll never know" for the win!
Athena is really just a rebellious teenager!
Athena is also an expensive Weatherby shotgun. Coincidence? I think not...
The motivational speaker is an awesome character.
I suppose Mullet Boss scored high on the "guillible" portion of the test?
On a side note, thank you Scott for the Amazon link that suggests many people buy all three of your books together. If it's a good enough choice for lots of people that I don't know, then it's a good enough choice for me!
"Will motivational speaker have a super-hero alter ego?"
No, he is a super villian.
Hey Gawain and Paddy, a "front facing fanny-pack" could still accurately be described as as a "fanny-pack" if the wearer is British and female. In Britain a "fanny" is not a buttocks, but is slang for "vagina." [insert "The More You Know" gif here]
@Michael: More likely a supervillain.
Reminds me of when a company I was with did the FISH Program (which comes from the fish market in Pike Place Market in Seattle). Management spent thousands to learn 4 obvious tenets of running a business. I abused the system for my own amusement.
If only I can take a personality test and answer things to look like a middle finger.
Awesome comic again, Scott
"Front-facing fanny pack". AKA "Scrote tote".
I got tested when I was 10, in elementary school. The tester called my mother in alarm; "I asked her to draw a girl, and she drew herself sitting in a chair, facing away! she's turning her back on the world!"
My mother asked me about this. I answered "They're always saying 'you won't be graded on this, and then grading and judging. He said 'draw *a girl*'. I can't draw faces or hands, so I tried to reproduce the sketch a classmate of mine did awhile back of the girl sitting in front of her, because that angle didn't involve a face or hands." My mother tore the tester a new one for giving her child (and only her child, it wasn't a whole class thing) psychological tests without parental permission, and for being enough of an idiot to think a ten year old in a messed-up school system is going to respond exactly the same as a four year old when you say "draw a girl".
It was a beautiful thing to listen to!
Mullet boss predictably hired a motivational speaker that reminds him of himself - they both inspire unity of purpose in the employees that is tangential or hostile to their desired goals.
It's a cod piece, you fools!
Oh dear. I wanted to mess up the test, but knew that they would know... which kind of means, if they already knew what my personality was, why were they paying someone to have me take a test on it...
Also, I want to hang this up at work but suspect it would be seen as troublesome.
<3
Soooooooooo...Quick question. IT'S JANUARY TWENTY-FREAKIN' -THIRD!!!!! WHY DOES IT STILL SAY COPYYRIGHT 2012!!!!!
*meep*
As an aspiring supervillain myself, I take umbrage at the idea of this weenie becoming one. Still, perhaps he'd make an interesting foe for the
Human JokeKnifeketeer.Aidan - I refer you to here: http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2012/12/13/how-to-make-a-public-service-announcement-yet-again-yearly-r.html
The last time I took one of these personality tests, they told me to skip the questions that made me feel uncomfortable. So I didn't answer any of them. The results: I'm an INTJ.
@Paddy
Bah! Yes, how did I mistype that? What does that count as...a "Victorian Slip"?
Worry not, Gawain. As You can see from my post, I mistyped loads of stuff (actually, I think that the computer changes stuff when I'm not looking - yours probably does the same. They resent it because we are in charge even though we are less clever, in cybernetic terms)
And Johncraig - I'm British - I know what a 'fanny' is, thank you, but it is a term that no lady would use in mixed company when referring to her 'front bottom'. :)
Wow, I had to take one of these at a former job... we all thought it was a waste of time and money (which, ultimately, I think even the bosses must have realized, but I've moved on and don't really know nor care). If only I'd thought about the 'middle finger' plotting of the results, I would have tried like crazy to have made it so!