How to Get to the Truth of the Matter

You can still enter to win a signed copy of the new edition of Off to Be the Wizard (Magic 2.0). In addition to that book, the prize package will also include the Basic Instructions 2014 Box Calendar, and a signed copy of a book by a different author. This week, the bonus book is The Dreams of a Dying God (The Godlanders War, Book One) by Aaron Pogue.

You can enter below by friending Off to Be the Wizard on Facebook, or by following me on Twitter.

Sadly, the offer is only open to people in the United States. Shipping costs, what can I say? The winner will be selected on Sunday, March 30th (Not Saturday, as reported. Error on my part. Sorry.), then a new give away with a different bonus book will begin. Thanks, and good luck!


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Reader Comments (27)

Actually the reason the english are the bad guys so frequently in Hollywood is the accent - there is something in the precision of the english (specially upper class) that americans find chilling.

The opposite of how the scottish and irish acent are often played for laughs

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMootrix

That hits home like nothing else I've read on the subject!

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDerwood

Diamonds Are Forever; ah yes, the double-entendres were flying in that one!

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.
James Bond: But of course you are.
Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.
James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

James Bond: Well, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.

Marie: Is there something I can do for you?
James Bond: As a matter of fact, there is... there's something I'd like you to get off your chest.

James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Tiffany Case: Could be.
James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.
Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?
James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match...

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMike N

Saying that we distrust people with manners is not always correct. Think about Mary Poppins, assuming I remember the movie correctly, her defining traits are that she is well-mannered and firm, yet loving and trustworthy. American's clearly love that movie.

So maybe we trust well-mannered women but not well-mannered men because we have a subconscious sexist belief that men should be practical, and therefore rude.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGregory Bogosian

I'm sorry, Mary Poppins is terrifying.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDavidC

I've always thought that we like when British people are mean to us (Gordon Ramsay, Simon Cowell, the Weakest Link lady) out of a sense of self-loathing. The Brits occupy a strange place in our history as our disappointed parental-figure of a country. Americans, specifically liberal Americans have this sneaking suspicion that we're all doing everything wrong and that we're backwoods hick-people who need to be put in our place by the superior, intelligent, hyper-liberal and artistic British.

Of course, having lived in the U.K., I can say with certainty that this is half-true. I can also say; however, from bartending for drunken Brittish people with day-glow orange tans and Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirts that the UK does not live up to its parental reputation.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

Yeah– you could actually digitally replace any of Alan Rickman's well-mannered bad-guy characters with Mary Poppins, without losing anything– might even be more sinister.
It would sure give Quigley Downunder a disturbing twist.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkendall clukey

Oh man, that last panel is hilarious (and completely accurate). I almost spat my tea out. That was a good one.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHerrDoktorG

Of course, it could simply be that Hollywood is still fighting the Revolutionary War...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Other Mike

We don't dislike Bond in Diamonds Are Forever because he's rude, but because Sean was in his "looks like Richard Nixon" phase.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

There's... actually something to that. American codes of politeness emphasise equality and ice-breaking. English ones emphasise respect for the personal space of others.

That's why Americans often find "excessively" polite Englishmen to be cold, distant and inscrutable, and English people often find "excessively" friendly Americans loud, brash, even rude. Hence we play the villains in your movies, and you play the buffoons in ours (speaking of James Bond -- J. W. Pepper, anyone?).

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

Uh oh! "Diamonds Are Forever" is my favorite Bond movie.There is just something so over-the-top about everything in that film. And there's Jill St. John. There is very definitely Jill St. John.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBob P.

Forget "Diamonds are Forever", try watching "Thunderball". It's one of my favourites but by Gnu the sexism in it will have you cringing.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDonald Simmons

Diamonds are Forever. One of the finer Bond movies. We had the Sausage King of America, Crispin Glover's dad as a psychopathic pseudo-homosexual killer, Bambi and Thumper, and Sean Connery slapping women's backsides for comedic effect.

I think I'm going to watch it again right now.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew

Combination inferiority complex, and too much TV.
Television and movies have a lot to get through in a short time, so they use shortcuts; attractive people are good, ugly people are bad (Except for any crime show, in which case the young, attractive woman or girl introduced 8-15 inutes into the show is the killer)
Fat is stupid, rude is cool, students who actually study, and everyone who follows any rule ever are losers. The only person who can get anything done is someone who never studies and never follows rules of any kind, and intelligence is either evil, or absolutely ineffectual.
In the real reality, not all smart people get a lot of book-larnin', but those that do use it pretty well, and intelligence is no predictor of character. It's just easier to use steryotypes than find a good writer who can show character and accomplishment without getting long-winded.
It's the idiots that take the steryotypes as having to have some truth to them. We seem to have a lot of them. They like the idea that even though they know they're dumbasses, at least they're not evil.
Also that thing about not having any knowlege or intelligence and not following rules making you capable and effective makes a nice fantasy about someday being recognised as the hero.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDee

The "no manners" thing applies to Canadians too! Name three Canadians that Americans like:

Don Cherry
Dan Aykroyd

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrad

My pervy uncle is not a bachelor.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterirrogical

Well at least I know I'm not the only Jeremy Clarkson fan over here now!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGarrett

Is it the truth of the matter or the heart of the matter? The strip and the list of strips don't agree with each other.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Scott: If someone from outside the United States wants to enter the contest, could they have you ship it to someone they know inside the US? (It would then be up to them to work out how to get the book from the US.)

Note from Scott: As long as the address I am asked to mail the package to is in the US, I don't know how I could know or be responsible for what happened to the book after I mail it.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJaniceOly

What about the Doctor?

...well, no, I guess he is a tad rude come to think of it. But he's so much FUN!

March 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGeekRyuu

Sean Connery is Scottish(!) but, yes, everything else made sense.

March 29, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Thank you, Kendall Clukey. I now have running through my head such scene as:
Mary Poppins in Hans Gruber's death, teaches a Hogwart's Potions Class (which would explain a lot), threatening to cut out Kevin Costner's heart with a spoon(ful of sugar), and finally, "By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Morvan, you will be avenged."

March 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenteraSimplerSimon

This is an incredibly funny and insightful (maybe even - inciteful? :: evil grin ::) strip.

Grist for the mill: How much of the distrust of intellect and intellectuals is due to those in the intellectual class who see nothing wrong taking advantage of less intelligent people and robbing them blind?

Just because you can do something doesn't necessarily mean that you should.

March 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLEH

And maybe the reason Americans think Sherlock Holmes is rude is that you've only seen TV adaptations and not read the books they're based on.

March 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSimon

All we know is: He's called the Stig :)

April 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKorka

That 2nd panel is probably right on the mark.

July 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArchive Binging
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