"Well geez, I'm not gonna tell jokes to YOU anymore!"

"Heartbreaking."

LMAO i had never heard that joke before, it cracked me up. YARRGHH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS! HAHAjajAJAAJja

Have you heard this one about two tomatoes crossing the road?

There are two tomatoes crossing the road, right, and one of them gets run over by a car. The other one runs over and goes "Oh my God, are you okay?"
And the first tomato stands up and brushes some dirt from his pants and says "I'm fine, I had a meatball in my pocket."

Is that like a 'No Soap, Radio!" thing?

The tomatoes remind me of this one: There's a dozen muffins baking in the oven, one muffins says to another 'wow, is it ever hot in here, eh?' The other muffin exclaims ' holy shit! a talking muffin!'

One of my friends in high school tried to tell this joke to a boy she liked, and got so flustered that she accidentally said "arrgh! it's drivin me balls!"

Then she ran away.

The muffins remind me of this one: Two cows are grazing in a field. One says "Mooo". The other says "Hey, I was going to say that!"

I need to send this to my co-worker. When he remembers all the joke, the joke itself is terrible!

the tomatoes one remembers me of another with tomatoes crossing roads... but it only makes sense in portuguese so no one here want to read it, right?

Try laughing hysterically long before they get to the punchline. That usually shuts them up. (^_^)