How to Properly Use a Factoid

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Reader Comments (58)

...and yet birds seem so happy in the morning?

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermikef

Scott, you are on a roll lately - brilliant!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJP

Excellent!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEsn

At least you didn't mention prehensile porpoise penii.

And now that your wife is no longer Portia De Rossi, is she now being played by Tom Baker as Doctor Who? The scarf, I mean.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Scrod

On a hopefully interesting note, I've used the cat penis factoid to deliberately end a conversation before.

Somebody had mentioned the factoid that dolphins are the only animals--besides humans--that have sex for pleasure.

A friend argued that all animals have sex for pleasure. They're not deciding to procreate.

Since my friend gets annoying when he gets argumentative, I told him that the male cat's penis has barbs that cause pain in bleeding in the female's vagina, which is a necessary part of the fertilization process and is the reason feline mating is such a noisy process. And because of this, they are clearly not mating for pleasure.

Conversation ended immediately.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

That's not his wife, yo! How long have you been reading this "comic strip"!?

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK.T. Slager

lmao love the line about Tesla and the government

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternthitz

Strictly speaking, a Factoid is not a "little nugget of trivia", but instead a "spurious — unverified, incorrect, or fabricated — statement formed and asserted as a fact, but with no veracity." -- in other words, an Untruth!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKlif

The secret is in the presentation! (yet another factoid).

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOM

Did you know that the blue whale has the second longest penis in the world? ...

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBobo

Comparative to its size, the barnacle has the largest penis of all animals. Gotta love House's poker strategy. . .

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBen

I can use mine as a belt. Sometimes it shakes hands and stirs martinis.

At the same time?! What is it, bifurcated?

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC2v

Your first factoid is a bit off. I don't know whether that was intentional or not, but it was Alexander Graham Bell who supposedly invented "hello". I'll let myself out....

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterP Thompson

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello

P Thompson, I think Wikipedia will disagree. And we know that if it's on Wikipedia, it must be right. Okay then, I think I have to go to bed now.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK.T. Slager

The first panel alone had me cracked up. The reaction to the remaining panels was O_o. . .then laugh.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Re duck penises: They're orange, you know. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/09/03/

Sorry, someone had to bring it up.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarlo Zottmann

I'm pretty sure a book called "Wild Wangs" would be a bestseller.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWild Wang

K.T. Slager, I might be wrong but I think P Thompson was joking, drawing a parallel with the invention of the telephone or something...

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJordan

Well, if Wikipedia is always right....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factoid
"A factoid is a spurious — unverified, incorrect, or fabricated — statement formed and asserted as a fact, but with no veracity."
So, less a "random fact" and more of a "falsehood".

Am I helping? :-D

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

Factoids are, by definition, false. Just as planetoids aren't quite planets and spheroids are not quite spherical, factoids are not quite factual. The word first appeared in the famous article about how many people will believe any given statement, which introduced the factoid about people eating a large number of spiders each year while sleeping.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwelve

You took the "hello" thingie from QI, didn't you? Admit it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xXSw07zrio

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrbp

So I see we're not bothering to fix the RSS icon updating?

Firefox needs to have more users than IE before it matters?

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYouknow

Dammit.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterP Thompson

Jiggly McSickfingers says, your boss in the strip is a dork (too bad the whale had already been mentioned, otherwise I could have just crossed my arms and leaned against the wall looking all enigmatic and moral and flat).

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

dang...there's one for the tabloids! someone changed my email address so my avatar wouldn't work! must be moonmen...

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJiggly McSickfingers

*tries to get those factoids out of his mind for the rest of the day*

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAC

Wild Wangs - I'm appropriating that one for use later!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

But did you know that the correct plural for penis is "penes" (although penises is perfectly acceptable).
1 thesis - 2 theses
1 penis - 2 penes

The fact that this strip gives me the opportunity to reveal that factoid is a perfect juxtaposition that makes me happy right now.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob

The strip implies that there's something wrong with having a barbed penis, which I'm choosing to take personally.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBritSwedeGuy

Duck fact: Mallards are gay necrophiliac rapists.
AND YOU GIVE THEM BREAD!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBritSwedeGuy

P Thompson - you're getting your factoids mixed up. Graham Bell supposedly preferred "Ahoy hoy" (which is how Mr Burns answers the phone).

Incidentally, that book pretty much exists (or at least, one about bizarre mating habits in nature). I got it for Christmas once. It's terrifying.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

In re cats: No one said the _female_ cats were mating for pleasure.

In re penis size: Mine's so big, it's already sleeping with a girl next week.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob

Love love LOVED your Tesla joke!

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMay

You people arguing the definition of "factoid" miss the main point, that a 2003 poll showed that 93% of all Internet users believe factoids they read on the web.

Related Factoid: 87.5 % of published poll results are made up.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFormerHostage

Ditto on loving the tesla joke. I've always been fascinated with him, but for some reason or another I've read a biography on him, watched a different one, and read stacks of articles and blogs about him. On the one hand, he's a really strange and brilliant inventor. On the other hand, he was prone to hallucinations, suffered synesthesia (sensory cross-overs), believed in paranormal phenomena, had a strong revulsion to physical contact with other people, and spent a lot of time in eastern philosophy and meditation. He's the perfect conspiracy myth, and one of two real historical figures that archtype the mad scientist.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDrowlord

... er meant that in the last month, for some reason, I'd read and watched stuff on him...

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDrowlord

Scott, you had me at "Hello"....

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaS

Tesla joke = solid gold.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCBS

My dick's so big, it put Obama on hold.

January 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Scrod

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