Join the Basic Instructions Subscription Service!
Or, please consider donating just a little something to help keep Basic Instructions going.
wait...just how many superheroes are you, Scott?
What's with all the reruns?
"After all, I'm inside your codpiece right now."
It takes something special to make a line like that actually work.
It took me this long to realize the problem. You have to go through all of the superhero comics even if you are well enough to return to work. I am sure this pains you. (But then you would feel ill and so have to continue your time off. All is well.)
"I'm everywhere else" totally love that line
Soon he will form his own Justice League.
Scott told us he'd be taking time off to heal from his tonsillectomy. He also told us that there were a LOT of superhero comics to re-run, and without voting, the general consensus was "YEAH, BUDDY!" so DO NOT complain about the reruns! He may have recuperated enough to draw some new stuff, but we'll get those once we've completed the superhero cycle (we may even get a new superhero comic at the end of this run of reruns; wouldn't that be cool? We'll all be, like, "um, I don't remember this one, but it sure is a good one!")
And FYI, "future Scott" isn't necessarily a superhero, he's just from the future, where your junk is radioactive so you have to wear a protective codpiece... but Omnipresent Man is here, so the strip qualifies as a "superhero rerun".
(Note from Scott: Thanks for explaining so I don't have to. I'm feeling better, and am back to work, but I'm using this opportunity to build up a backlog and work on book three.)
Omnipresent Man is one badass superhero. At first I just thought that with the exception of his power, he was an ordinary guy who can easily be hurt. But with your explanation above about how he can't be hit by cars, he also can't be hit by bullets, knives, falling anvils, etc. Anything with substantial density. Maybe beam weapons could hurt him, since they are engery based? Probably not, or he'd constantly be getting electrocuted by wall sockets and hand buzzers. But by the same reasoning he probably can never actually hit anybody, because he will disapate before making contact. He can't be "in" the ground because of the density of the earth, but he can be "under" ground in a cave. Not sure about water, but it's probably not dense enough to bother him. Size isn't a problem, so if you have a dense box, he is still inside it. He can go anywhere a human can go, existing inside their breathing aparatus if necessary. He might even be in outter space or on planets with toxic atmospheres, because at the same time he is also breathing oxygen here on earth. He probably stops just short of burning up in the sun or stars or house fires, and gravity can't seem to pull him into danger, even black holes. He can probably tell us all about aliens, either in Area 51 or on their homeworlds. Including their masterbation habits. He might not exist in alternate dimensions, but his evil twin probably does.
His only weaknesses appears to be 1) a complete lack of privacy--he can't keep a secret spoken to anyone out loud. Not sure about if it's written down? and 2) He's the most confusing superhero on the planet. Miscommunication is a constant frustration, since he has to talk to everyone on the planet at once. And he probably only speaks English. 3) He's got to be constantly distracted, not only by the most disgusting sights and smells on the planet, but also by all the girl's changing rooms and cheerleader group showers. The ultimate perv; he's inside your wife's/girlfriend's/your bra right now!!
Anyone else want to see an "Omnipresent League" of some sort? Something where there are a bunch of superheroes that are secretly Omnipresent Man pretending to be another superhero. Have them try to keep their identities secret. Something like "How to live a double-double life."
Get on that if it made sense XD. It'd be gold.
Hmmm..didn't everyone have lead codpieces in Bladerunner? (the book, not the film). Actually, this instruction probably explains why it wasn't in the film.
If Omnipresent Man can't occupy the same space as anything else, and he's inside Future!Scott's codpiece, there is only one conclusion to be drawn:
There is nothing inside Scott's codpiece.
I have come to a stunning realization! omnipresent man is impossible! taking into account the new information that we just learned (even though it was a rerun) we can safely say that omnipresent man cannot exist anywhere that has an atmosphere! basic science dictates that all matter has a mass, and such, there is already something 'in the way' on planet earth and indeed, all other inhabitable planets. the only reasonable explanation is that omnipresent man has lied!!
Everywhere Else Man. Hahahahaha
at the first time i saw this comic i didn't realized, but now i understand... Omnipresent Man do not appear in the first panel because he is inside Future Scott's codpiece...
Note from Omnipresent Man: FOR YOU AND ME BOTH!!!
Notify me of follow-up comments via email.