Tuesday
Nov012011
How to Be a Good Parent
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Also, there've been some additions over at the Basic Instructions store. They are as follows:
Infini-Tees are back!
There are now links to my Android and iPhone apps!
There is a direct link to buy my calendar!
There is also a direct link to pre-order my 3rd book!
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November 1, 2011
Reader Comments (28)
I swear...when it comes to humor you're my older, skinnier, beardier, shaved headier twin!
Love panel 3 ,safety at everyone else expense
Is that a new Scott face in panel 2?!
...Still waiting for that +1 button, by the way...
First!
Scurvy lasses. Scurvy lasses. Scurvy lasses.
That phrase just... isn't right.
My god, third panel is pure genius! :D
Amazing! Yesterday I bought a bunch of Pirate stuff (at post-Halloween 50% off) for an upcoming Pirate themed birthday party. Had I seen this last week, I would have raided my own daughter's princess party for treasure!
Wonderful advice thoughout. Remember, September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
I don't get the SUV joke.
@DT - That's probably because you drive an SUV....
@DT: SUV's are stereotypically seen as gas-guzzling overkill for most people's needs, so getting an SUV is like saying "I don't care about the planet or pollution or the fact that if you get in front of me with your tiny little Festiva I'll crush you and probably won't even notice." If you drive a little car, an SUV on your tail can look quite menacing.
DT - I think I do get the SUV joke, but don't find it particularly clever. I believe that the SUV joke is a reference to the fact that if an SUV is ever involved in an accident with a non-SUV, the occupants of the non-SUV are much more likely to be injured or killed than the occupants of the SUV. This fact has often been used to attempt to dissuade people from buying SUVs (if you buy an SUV, you will kill people). To me, though, it sounds more like an SUV sales pitch. Who in their right mind would not want to buy the vehicle that puts themselves and their family in the least amount of danger? I realize that there are many other factors to consider in buying a vehicle, but the relative safety of the SUV is a factor for, not against, choosing an SUV. To use this argument against SUVs is akin to saying that driving a Yugo keeps you safer than being a pedestrian, and that this safety comes at the pedestrian's expense. It's ridiculous.
Another possibility is that the joke is a reference to the relatively low gas mileage of SUVs, which some argue contributes significantly to global warming and other environmental disasters. This is even worse than the "you will kill people" argument, because at least the relative safety factor between vehicles can be measured with a reasonable degree of accuracy.
Full disclosure: I own an SUV (Chevy Suburban). I did not purchase my SUV for the relative safety factor; rather, I wanted something that fit my family and that was not a van. That being said, if you ask me whether I care more about my safety and my family's safety than I do about the safety of everybody else, the answer is, "Hell, yes."
Thanks for the idea for my kids birthday. :)
Seriously the most awesome idea ever. Wish I could pull it off without going to jail. Maybe... go to a city where I'm unknown? We'd all be in disguise anyway!
Of course I do not endorse the cool crime of robbery.
The key here is to have a family that's friends with yours and that has a little girl near the same age as your child. Then, when it's close to both kids' birthdays, you have the pirate themed party crash the princess themed party--I bet both groups would love it!
I think Panel 2 is recycled from How to Disguise a Yawn. I keep waiting to see how he'll reuse the closed-mouth "Scott, are you having a stroke?" yawn face.
@ DT: SUV joke = If you crash in an SUV... you are fine, but the guy you crashed into is toast. Safety at someone else's expense.
If princess parties were a more common practice, all princesses would fear me.
For those of you who want a more realistic... realistic approach (dang, even when typing it out i can't make things sound not awkward) my cousin went a party where they just had a load of pennies instead of the fake coins. Then they let kids keep the treasure they found during a scavenger hunt type activity.
@Steve "I believe that the SUV joke is a reference to the fact that if an SUV is ever involved in an accident with a non-SUV, the occupants of the non-SUV are much more likely to be injured or killed than the occupants of the SUV. This fact has often been used to attempt to dissuade people from buying SUVs (if you buy an SUV, you will kill people). To me, though, it sounds more like an SUV sales pitch"
You know, nobody has a problem with you being safe. It's the killing others part that other people might be worried about. Obviously, whether or not the other car is an SUV itself or not, you're always better off if you sit in an SUV. But both involved parties together would be better off if neither drove an SUV (prisoner's dilemma).
But I like how you dismiss the environmental argument. Hey, this car just harms the earth and all of its inhabitants a little, but it's also safer for me! Woo!
Anyway, I found panel 3 the most amusing one, followed by panel 1 (the last one looked a bit too familiar, unfortunately).
Steve,
you'd be right, except that many SUVs are too heavy for their frames, so in a rollover, you'd be crushed flat.
Unless you checked carefully about your year-make-model's history, safety tests, and frame design, you may well be in the least-safe vehicle on the road ( and to run me down, you'd have to catch me first; my fuel-effiicient old two-door is fast and agile enough to dodge your behemoth if you drive unsafely)
...I'm just saying...
Thanks for the link about the Infinitees. I've been wanting one ever since I saw Wil Wheaton wearing one. I'm especially pleased that you got mine done so quickly. Buying 2 of these is my birthday present to myself.
I don't mean to burden you with work, but as soon as mine shows up, I'm posting it on Facebook and I'm sure you'll get plenty of requests for them.
I'm not sure who the new guy is, but if he doesn't have a name, let's call him Ferguson. He just LOOKS like a Ferguson.
The "new guy" has been around before.
Panel 1: I. Laughed. So. Hard.
You just need to find a kid who's having a Spanish merchant-themed party. Firstly, more historically accurate, and secondly, any kid who asks for a Spanish merchant-themed party -deserves- to be traumatised.
An image of Martin Prince from the Simpsons springs unbidden to my mind.
New guy is clearly Stacy Peralta. I expect to see an amusing documentary with a killer soundtrack in the near future.
OMG... then the Superman themed party could swoop in to save the princesses, who are then thwarted by the Joker party. Then the Transformer party arrives... assisted by the Thomas the tank engine party...
Too... Much... Awesomeness.... [head explodes]
for what it's worth I read panel 3 as referencing a big stinkin carbon footprint. Either way, I love the way Scott is keeping mum on the subject, and letting posters argue over his intended meaning