How to Talk to Someone on a Third Party's Behalf

Once, in junior high school, a friend of mine decided to explain to me how he knew when a girl is interested in him. He said, “If I notice that she’s looking at me, she’s probably into me. Or, also, if you see that she’s not looking at me, like every time I look she’s looking away from me, then I KNOW she’s into me.”

I pointed out that if any girl looking at him was into him, and any girl who wasn’t looking at him was into him, that meant that every girl on the planet was into him. To his credit, he laughed and admitted that wasn’t possible. Then he said that in addition to the looking/not looking thing, he knew when a girl was interested because he “could just kinda tell.”

I decided his advice was not likely to be helpful.

Also, in case you’re wondering, no, he was not popular with the ladies.

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