How to Keep Your Secret Project Secret

That’s right. I’ve written a novel.

No, this is not an April Fool’s joke.

It’s called Off to Be the Wizard. It is about hackers, time travel, and wizards, and it is definitely NOT an April Fool’s Day joke.

It’s available for the Kindle (US, UK) the Nook, and in old-school, dead tree form. If you don’t feel like risking four to ten dollars on a first time novelist, you can download a free sample.

I’ve always wanted to write a novel. Now I have, and I am ridiculously proud of it. I hope you give it a try and enjoy it.

Thank you for your time, and for understanding that THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S DAY JOKE!

Oh, and thanks as always for using my Amazon Affiliate links (USUKCanada).

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Reader Comments (63)

Purchased the book for my newly acquired Kindle. I am looking forward to reading it. I hope that your cut will at least buy you a package of Top Ramen, or hopefully a Cup O'Noodle so that you don't have to wash a bowl to eat.

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShaunnMW

If you hover over the link for the nook versions, the URL has the letters B-O-O and B in it in that order, and the strip had a joke about porn. This is why i assumed it was an April Fools Joke (until i clicked it anyway).

Anyway, off to find $10 to spend on this....

Note from Scott: I knew that was the risk I took announcing today.

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

can I get an autographed kindle edition?

Note from Scott: Just mail me your Kindle. Note, I take no responsability for the well being of your Kindle.

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdeimos

Your book is not on Google. Therefore, it doesn't exist as they are the overlords of Earth.

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDestructicon

Seriously, when are the book signings?

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

Hi Scott,

I bought the book last night, and just over 24 hours later I have just finished it. Thoroughly enjoyable, congratulations! I hope it's a big success for you.


April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike Tucker

for people without Kindles: do a free download of Kindle Cloud and you can get Scott's ebook. Then go buy the book.

April 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

I bought the book without even looking at the sample, and I didn't regret it for a second. I can only hope it is the start of a lengthy series.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterspan

Scott, I don't have a kindle. I don't *want* a kindle. I *DO* want to purchase & peruse your novel, because...look, I just want the damn book okay?

I want a"hard copy" because experience has taught me that
a) books feel nice
b) books look nice and make decorating my home easier ("book colour" is like "wood": it's neutral, goes with everything, and doesn't show the dust for months)
c) I can read a book in the tub
d) when I hate a book, physically destroying it (ideally with fire) is WAAAAAY more satisfying that simply hitting "delete" (with an added saving on my home heating bill that I can at least pretend is equivalent in value to the cost of the book) and finally
5) nobody can take a book away from me without breaking into my house, and frankly if they're going to do that they're more likely to take small, easy-to-fence technological trinkets, like, say, a kindle.

Sooooo...when's your BOOK going to be available in Canada?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMrs B_

You can get the Kindle app for Android, OS X, iOS, or Windows. If the book is DRM-free (I haven't checked, but naughty naughty if it isn't) you can read it with any Mobibook reader app.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterResuna

Nicely done... I was pleasantly surprised to see your quick wit from the strip translated into novel form. Congratulations!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

Mr. Meyer are there in your novel some car chasings or an strangely unnecessary sex scene? explosions, gun fighting, or some bold kicking-ass barefoot hero? i mean, im reading it any way but i like to be prepared.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercarlos castillo

So, where should we post the typos we find, and where can we discuss and debate elements of your book? For example, why would the "hover" app result in vibration? Does it teleport you to a relative altitude of 3 feet and strip you of your momentum, or is momentum preserved?

If the former, then the uncomfortable vibration described in the text makes sense. If the latter, I would think you would just feel like you were falling until you turned off the hover, at which time you would smash into the ground at the same speed you would have attained if you had fallen from a height of (0.5 * g * t^2), where g is the acceleration due to gravity, 9.8 m/s/s in metric units, and t is the amount of time you were "hovering".

If it does strip you of your momentum, where does the energy go? I would expect it to be converted to heat, which would quickly become very uncomfortable. And what about the various motions of the Earth during the time you are hovering, what would happen if those momenta were or were not accounted for and dealt with? Might you not either find yourself zooming off into space or exploding like a mini nuke?

I'm only up to chapter 19, and you haven't yet cleared up these issues to my satisfaction in the text of your book. It would ease my mind to know that there is some place that these things can be discussed.

Typos can be emailed to Scott: As for the hover app, I'll leave that to the more scientific minds. ~Missy

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterronzie

page 32

"If I don’t, maybe they’ll chock it up to texting while

"chock" should be "chalk"..

it's just like the strip - "I meant to do that..!" :)


April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlarry english

I have a Kindle. They're convenient and serve a purpose. I still love real books, though, so I bought the dead-tree edition. I didn't bother reading a sample; the synopsis was enough to hook me (hence my earlier comment about another author's programming-themed fantasy novels)

Apologies for buying it from Amazon UK instead of CreateSpace; I didn't fully research my purchasing options in advance.

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

I'm still waiting on mullet boss's "Wild Wangs" book to find a publisher.

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMason

Larry, "chock" could have been the correct word. I haven't read it yet, so I don't know the context, but could they have meant something about jamming objects under a wheel to prevent undesired motion?

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Good comic as always Scott.
I bought both the digital and paper copy of your book :)

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJawfin


h@ck 73h p@ln37

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

nah, pretty he was shooting for "chalk it up", a common expression, right mr. scott?


April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlarry english

Shouldn't this be titled "How to subtly do product placement?" Because it's a very good example. I'm intrigued.
Maybe save that instruction for your next project!

April 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJerden

Like the sample, bought the book, finished it immediately! Totally loved it, full of neat ideas and funny too. PLEASE write a sequel, or prequel, or paralleliquel, this universe needs to be explored. Thanks!

April 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOS

YESSSS, the audiobook of this was fantastic, enjoyed it thoroughly and promptly bought the sequel.

You know, commenting now kinda makes me feel like a time traveler from the future

October 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArthur

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