"I know we call those people faggots."

So, just to get this straight. Because that person doesn't enjoy watching activities that mainly involve groups of sweaty men running around grappling with each other while playing with balls, you're calling them a "faggot". Gotcha.

In the last panel, sports guy should say: "you will be assimilated.". Then you just respond with "!"

That would make it a pretty accurate representation of reality, provided you don't completely wall yourself off from the outside world.

Yes, there are people who are excited by the prospect of watching men in brightly colored synthetic fabrics get all sweaty with each other, pretending to enact war games, wasting vast amounts of our limited resources, and encouraging useless neotribalism.

Such people, if they were a little bit smarter, would need to be watered twice a day.

Such people are also allowed to vote, reproduce, drive, and will determine the fate of our species on this planet.

woo hoooooooo

My impression of almost everybody else:

HURRR DURRR SPORTS DURRR HURRR

Wouldn't football be better if instead of focusing on the players they would focus on the cheerleaders? Considering how much work they put into their routines I think it rather heartless of broadcasters to neglect their choreographies.

"Ah! A sports-related competition! I've heard of those!"