If you never read the first "Who would win" comic, it can be found here.
"Jeph Jacques vs Scott Meyer"
Meyer would win for being funny, Jacques for being commercial.
Mr. Rogers vs. Captain Kangaroo, beatboxing competition
Goku vs superman!The hulk vs king kongSpider man vs magnetoWolverine vs darth vaderGo!
Long-haired Rick vs. short-haired Rick
Churchill. Definitely. Because he's funnier, and to be that funny you have to drink a certain amount. Oh, and forgotten-there were no nasty grammar comments today. (Yippee!) Your comment was the nastiest by far, except for the one I'm writing to you now.
Postscript to my post: Mullet Boss versus Missy. Hilariousness.
I always thought Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly were the same person.
Your drawing is SO much better! And you keep getting funnier! Obviously, practice makes perfect. Very good!
the Back to the Future car vs. Invisible Waffles
I just read the whole archive over about a week. This is my new favorite webcomic. I hate the comments your get at Cracked, but loved that Cracked introduced me to your comic. Keep up the good work!
"Paul Lynde & Charles Nelson Reilly" wikipedia'ed them but not much wiser. Mentally I'm translating it to "John Noakes vs. Tony Bastable".
The very annoyed/angry client(B.I. cartoon) vs. Alice in pon farr (Dilbert cartoon)
Serious genius there.
Come on, you guys, I'm 27 and I know who Paul Lynde is! Why would anyone laugh at Roger the Alien without first knowing who Paul Lynde is?!
I'll just leave this here:
Walter Brennan and Charley Weaver go back even FURTHER than Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde. This fellow Bruce, he is being sarcastic, I think. ;)
I believe I read an articled (at Cracked, no less) about how Machiavelli actually wrote "The Prince" in a bitter and satirical mindset, and was actually quite in favor of a free republic. Eh, but why ruin a perfectly good joke? LOVE the joke tie-in between panels 2 and 4!
Walter Brennan vs. Charley Weaver? They'd both die of old age before the fight started (which, obligingly, they already have).That would leave the field open for Wilford Brimley to come in and clean up. Because it would be the right thing to do.
To anyone not getting the references in the last two panels, your homework is to research them on YouTube. Those of you with expensive TV packages and lots of free time can do the advanced research: watch 20 hours of The Game Show Network.
How about the cast of Jersey Shore vs. a threshing machine?
The answer to that is obvious.
The winner would be "society at large".
Alice Vs. Angry Customer: Alice. Because Alice's Fighting Technique Is Unstoppable.
Worf Vs. Charles Nelson Reilly: Reilly, by default, since the battle would be beneath Worf's dignity and he would forfeit.
Spider-Man Vs. Magneto: Magneto. Sorry, Spidey, I'm a fan, and yes, I KNOW you took down Firelord and Iron Man 2020, but even THEY aren't in the Magneto power class.
By the way, let me say I'm a fan of the "satisfied Rick" clip art, which I've seen a few times now (including Panel 4, of course). The fact that you actually started tossing the poor guy a bone now and again (as evidenced by the fact that the "satisfied Rick" clip art ever gets used at all) helps take the edge off the strip, as does the fact that he sometimes even gets over on you in the strip. Indeed, that MANY people get over on you.
Anyone can make a cynical, mean-spirited strip ("B.C." comes to mind); the dictionary definition of a bully is someone who belittles others to cover up the fact that there's nothing special about them, so unfunny people sometimes are compelled to be bullies. It's a little trickier to pull off even cynical, mean-spirited AND funny ("Dilbert", for example), but there is enough of a surfeit of people who do it well that I still don't consider it a towering achievement. But the factors I list in the previous paragraph are the ones that prevent your strip from qualifying as "mean-spirited" (misanthropic, sure, but not mean-spirited, allowing you the rare distinction of pulling off the delicate balancing act between funny, cynical and NOT mean-spirited.
John Entwistle vs. Paul McCartneywinner^
Friedrich Nietzsche VS Karl Marx. Karl Marx would fall into existential angst at first, but he would overcome it and kill Nietzsche in the name of the proletariat. and when Marx is still in his state of angst, they would write a book together that all hipsters would quote, but that none of them would read in context.
One of the earliest graphical web pages was a game called "Who's the Bitch?" Easy to play on long trips or in waiting rooms, just take any two personalities and decide which of them, if they had an intimate relationship, would be the bitch. You could also pair objects, brand names, abstract concepts, etc. You win by presenting a convincing argument for your position, so difficulty is inversely proportionate to how quickly you come to unanimous agreement. For example, almost any pairing with Samuel L. Jackson would be ridiculously easy, but it would be more difficult to come up with a pairing in which he would be made the bitch.
The game proceeds until the players reach irreconcilable differences possibly resulting in physical altercation.