How to Set Someone Straight

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Reader Comments (131)

@Liturature Historian:
1) Carmilla was indeed a vampire. Not only was she referred to as such repeatedly in the novella, but she was also one of the key inspirations for Bram Stoker when writing "Dracula" (originally, the story was set not in Transilvania but in Laura's home country of Styria; also, compare Carmilla and Lucy, the Baron Vordenburg and Helsing) and by extention many female vampires.
2) No, Carmilla didn't turn into a bat...she turned into a giant cat-like beast.
3) Carmilla does bite Laura ("a sensation as if two needles ran into my breast..."), and the hunchback calls attention the her unusually sharp tooth. She also leaves a mark on Laura's throat (a blue spot). It even states that vampires like Carmilla "lust for living blood". She sleeps in a blood-filled coffin.
4) Carmilla may not shun sunlight, but she was hardly at her most active during the day--she was never seen until some time into the afternoon, and would get exhausted almost as soon as she went outside for a walk in the sunshine. She demonstrates a great fondness for moonlight as well.

Interestingly, "Carmilla" claims that there are many different symptoms and restrictions of being a vampire, and that not all of them will manifest in the same individual. Even given this, "Twilight" still manages to fail in describing vampires (deathly palor, power of hand...)

"Carmilla" is one of my all-time favourite stories, I have a copy of it with me everywhere (on my iPod) :)

August 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQueen_Undine

Twilight isn't necessarily bad. It just isn't good. It is an average book that could be worth reading if you have nothing else at hand (although, due to me being an avid reader who must finish everything I read, it had me hooked while I read it (Christmas Gift). It makes me uniquely qualified to make fun of it, however)

Really, if they took out Bella the emo bitch and Edward the Mr Perfect, along with the god damned glittering (some vampires don't burn in sunlight, so they could get away with that), then it could be quite a good book

Honestly, the best thing in the books is the part where vampires and werewolves beat the shit out of each other. Maybe the idea of seeing a werewolf rip an arm off of one of those fucking sparkling vampires and using it to beat the shit out of them entertains me, however...

August 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIcalasari

roflol i hate twilight so much, i am for sure going to use the leech man reference in the near future XD

September 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersofia

I have The Sims 3 Late Night, and it introduced vampires.
Not Dracula/Carmilla vampires though.
Twilight vampires.
Ugh.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I feel like I'm surrounded by arrogant zombies. None of you care that "vampires don't sparkle," and even if the guys in Twilight were actual werewolves, you wouldn't care. No one complained when the Dresden files had three or more types of werewolves; or when it had three different types of vampires; or when Terry Pratchet (sp) or A. Lee Martinez altered various portions of the legends.

You don't care about the logistics. The movies are dull and droning, and the books and movies are just romance hedged with the pretense of an exciting fantasy story.
That is why you dislike it. Not because of "the facts," but because you are not the target audience.

All of you people are filthy. lying. whiners.

Besides, here's the other side of the coin: A fun, well-acted movie, named "Van Helsing" payed tribute to and was faithful to the original monsters, and the movie was lambasted for-- well, for no reason, really.


People are stupid and like to complain for no reason about things for the sake of receiving accolades or some sort of acknowledgment for disliking the same things as everyone else.

Dislike what you want to dislike, but do not pretend that it is for a reason beyond "because it's not my thing."

November 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAtari

I won't go into the many and varied reasons I hate twilight. What I will say is, if you want to see vampires and humans in a romantic setting, just watch "Let The Right One In." Seriously.

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAKissAndAGunshot

"Let me in" the Hollywood version

April 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeith

@OLz oh awesome! I was started to think no one read those

April 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterE.nigma

lol wes your girlfriend sucks

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermarissa

I just want you to know Scott, that this comic has helped me win multiple arguments about Twilight. Thank you for this public service.

August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

That doesn't look like a guy who would defend Twilight. You need to come up with a better Strawman to represent that brand of idiocy.

July 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArchive Binging

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