How to Set Someone Straight

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Reader Comments (130)

[...] This post was Twitted by Lspaventa [...]

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwitted by Lspaventa

Yes, the punchline of this comic is that there are such werewolves in the books.

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheherazahde

Scott. I liked you before, but now? Now I think you're my new hero. You are the person I would draw pictures of next to a house and overly giant flowers, and bring into school for show and tell, if I were in elementary school.

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Yeah, but World of Darkness got it right... and remember, they were actually called "Garou." I believe what White Wolf did was more of a reinvention... and a mighty fine one at that. Ah... how I miss the early 90s.... (well, not all of it....)

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWakingSleep

Scott: is Basic Instructions accessible from mobile phones? If so, why?

(Disclaimer: my thumb-typing is properly spelled and uses complete sentences.)

(Also, I am going to read "werewlves" as "were-elves". It sounds like a conservative horror concept, or something. Every full moon, they turn into snooty environmentalists, possibly written by Christopher Paolini.)

August 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermwchase

welcome back to the forum, Izzy! I have no comment on Twilight but I've personally missed your input of late!

August 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBI Fan

Personally, I think Terry Pratchett did a good explanation too- we still have ye olde wolf-men with the full moon, but we've got an explanation for WHY they and the werewolves that change at will co-exist.

August 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpawnofHastur

I admire your courage to be the only person making an argument for the book/movie amongst these comments, but your argument would be a great deal more effective if you would use proper spelling and grammar. <3

August 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersaintpink

Leech-men, now I know what to call our politicians and school administrators, and gov't employees, and lawyers, and doctors, and well... I better stop before I offend someone...again.

August 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames Yeamans

Um.. I kinda get the feeling that they were trying to sound like an idiot... If not my faith in humanity is broken.

August 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJack

Yes. Very few people know that in original vampire lore (although I'm actually not sure how old the concept of vampires in and of itself really is), vampires were not hurt/destroyed by sunlight; they merely lost all of their powers. Which proved to be irrelevant, as they just slept all day and roamed at night. I know some people who give the Buffy shows mad props for this, although I actually haven't seen them, myself.

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersaintpink

I played the White Wolf version in college. The full moon made it harder to control the transformation, but they were always able to control it. Nothing in the Twilight series is new, just added the teen angst romance and dumbed it down to appeal to shallow masses.

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGryffin

Why is it that people keep on calling this series a friggin SAGA? It doesn't even remotely fit the definition of that word given that it isn't an Icelandic or Norse tale from the 12th-13th centuries, any narrative or legend of heroic exploits, or a novel/series in which the members or generations of a family or social group are chronicled in a long and leisurely narrative. (Thank you dictionary.com)

As for the vampires turning into bats, that's basic vampire lore and I find it extremely amusing that you act as if Scott brought that out of left field. If you really want to get specific they were also said to have turned into mist or wolves, but now I'm going off on a tangent. The fact remains is that there are existing myths for vampires, pop culture tends to go with the Eastern European versions of these mythological beings (look them up if you want, personally I like the idea of damned rotting corpses rising from the grave much more than the 'zomg sparklepants my handsome love' deal Meyer had going on), and as such there is established lore as to what they can or cannot do.
It's like I told another person who tried to use that kind of argument. According to you all it would be perfectly acceptable for me to take a cute little pig, slap a large stick to it's forehead with some super glue, and then claim it's a unicorn despite not even fitting with the original lore; but yet obviously must be one because of that 'horn/stick' I slapped on it earlier. See how absurd it sounds? That's how most people view what Meyer did with vampires. If she really was as creative as you claim she would have just made them into an original new creature because they share only one defining characteristic with actual vampiric lore.

As for the fiction comment, you do realize that the 'it's fiction!' excuse is beyond moronic? Even fiction needs to adhere to certain rules in order to be taken seriously, and Meyer absolutely rapes her OWN lore several times in the series. "Oh vampires can't have babies, -several books later-, no wait I lied! -insert hell spawn here-" being a good example.
And like Bill said, you need to follow your own advice in this case since it's rather clear that you failed to enjoy what Scott Meyer did simply because it ripped your beloved book series.

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWW

Vampires are dark creatures of the night, that are in league with satan, drink blood, are immortal, and spread there sickness. Under no conditions whatsoever do they:

SPARKLE
Attend high school for 70 years.
Spend time rescuing an air-headed bimbo from other more pathetic vampires.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterisiah

Meh... Just a comment on Stephanie Meyer creating her own vampire? I do believe the Dresden Files series has been around a lot longer than Twilight... and... Well, the White Court vampires were kind of overly sexual, pretty-boy/girl creatures and they were not bothered by the sunlight... so... The creative aspect there just went out the window. xD Though, for what it's worth, I hate having compared Dresden Files to Twilight, as the Dresden Files are definitely more worth checking out than Twilight.. ,-,

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFeith

I fall more and more in love with each comic.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScarlettDomino

Well, that depends. Is this movie claiming to be based on D&D? Because color coded breath weapons is a pretty source specific trait, unlike, say vampires being harmed to some extent by sunlight (the exact nature of the harm depending on your vampire myth varying from losing power and sleeping to exciting things like rotting at at an accelerated rate), which is nearly universal.
So, while I'm probably merely revealing myself to be an even bigger geek I think that analogy's a bit off.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershikomekidomi

The Buffy show vampires burn up in sunlight, stronger ones just take a while and can dash between shadows if they're heavily covered.
Anyway, 'original' vampires is a weird term, given the diversity of vampire legends. The floating head ones died if they couldn't reattach to their bodies before being hit with sunlight and Chinese ones rotted like the corpses they were in it, so Nosferatu may just have combined vampire myths.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershikomekidomi

I'm pretty sure I saw an old black and white monster movie with leech men.
Strangely, while it was more entertaining than Twilight, the Leech men had to resort to kidnapping women because their shiny skin failed to attract any. I think the movie was called "Attack of the Giant Leeches" because the leech men also had big pets.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershikomekidomi

Isiah, I second that emotion. For a much better reworking of the vampire meme, try the new novel "The Strain". Guillermo del Toro is listed as a co-author, so he may be thinking of making
a movie of it. They're not (strictly speaking) supernatural, but they are FAR from 'dreamo'.

Also, F. Paul Wilson's "Midnight Mass", which features creepy, genuinely supernatural vampires
who are almost as horrifying as vampires would be in real life. And they don't SPARKLE.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobert

[...] This post was Twitted by ManfaMae [...]

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwitted by ManfaMae

[...] Basic Instructions – This is simply wonderful. [...]

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Art of Darkness » Bl

Why is it that people keep on calling this series a friggin SAGA?

Hwaet we Damn-Sparkla in gear dagum
pfeod-brainless pfrym inconceivable
monegum maegpfum meodo-setla ofteah;
syddan aerest weard

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkitsch

LOL! BRAVO!
i think it's time for beowulf to rip edward cullen's arm off. and beat all the twazi's over the head with it.

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterButcherbaby

vampires don't have to die in sunlight, the king of vampires (as far as pop culture is concerned), Dracula, had no physical problem with sunlight, he just didn't like it.

August 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKorbl

Just for the record, a positive number multiplied by a negative number is actually a lower negative number... ergo, you should do just fine with a girl that doesn't understand mathematics. (Semantics, I know, but get your shit straight)

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthejames

[...] Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer: Your all-inclusive guide to a … [...]

[...] Basic Instructions: How to Set someone Straight [...]

....Shit. It's halloween tomorrow. Body glitter and unwashed hair?

I'm fucked. D=

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiru

Scott, unfortunately what you said about werewolves was going on long before Twilight, and also alongside it. Underworld already has werewolves that can change at will and don't fear the full moon.

November 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRadien

actually twilight was pretty close to stoker's work that started all this. and the famed count walk in the sun but could only change his shape at noon and midnight

January 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdragulia

I wonder how many Twilight fans have read Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' or even read up on Vlad the Impaler?

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOle Phat Stu

I agree that the Twilight franchise isn't any good, but it isn't the only crap we're being offered - why is it such a joke and Transformers - for instance - isn't? I mean, it's the same in so many ways, just a difference of gender roles: Megan Fox is Robert Pattinson. The irritating main character doofus is the irritating main character doofus. The transforming robotic cars are the supernatural blood-drinking vamps. The complete lack of any sort of reality at all is the complete lack of... you get the idea.

So, why does everyone have to make fun of the one with the irritating girl? It can't be because Twilight is exclusive in having bad actors. It also can't be because it's the only movie that has the awkward loser end up with a model. Is it because it was based on a series of crap books instead of a series of crap cartoons? I don't really know, but I'll be happy when the internet populous begins to blast and flame with some form of equality.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Koumos

Stephanie Meyers did only ONE thing right with her trio of horrible books. She managed to make a generation of apathetic ADD kids sit down and actually read a book. And that's all it takes for someone to realize that a book can be a great escape from pressure. One book.

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRandom Stumbler

This picture here may be my favorite part of the entire twilight crazy:
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/105466/Edward+Derp/

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKyraineth

Richa you dont get an opinion until you learn to use the english language!!

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMARK`

Read Polidore's "The Vampyre" and Le Fanu's "Carmilla."

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

To be fair, there are TONS of crappy vampire novels that mess around with the rules.

As well, technically the tribe that transforms into wolves aren't werewolves; they're shape-shifters.

However, this does not make up for the Twilight series sucking hardcore and making me want to suck my brain out with a straw.

April 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPerson

Twilight sucks so fucking hard.

April 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentern

Twilight is retarded and this guy has a point :D
Apparently stephanie meyers is writing about homosexual aliens now. she is ruining fantasy as we know it

April 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersofia

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