How to make Conversation With a New Friend

If anyone in Florida asked where I was from, I said Seattle, because people knew where that was, and I had lived there most recently.

If people in Seattle asked where I was from, I said “The Yakima Valley,” because they knew where that was, and really, people from Seattle view anything east of the mountains as the planet Tatooine. (Making the city of Yakima the Mos Eisley Spaceport.)

If I meet someone from Eastern Washington, I tell them I’m from Sunnyside, then tell them that, yes, I am aware of the terrible odor from the feed lots that constantly envelop the freeway that passes the town, and I explain that when you live there you go nose-blind and stop noticing it.

If I meet someone from any of the towns immediately around Sunnyside, then I tell them the real truth, which is that I grew up in Outlook, a “town” 15 minutes away from Sunnyside that consisted of a post office, a church, a school, a Grange hall, and what used to be, before it closed down, the world’s least convenient convenience store.

Why do I bring this up now? Because if you ever meet someone from Outlook, you do NOT want to mention that you’ve heard that the astronaut Bonnie Dunbar is from Sunnyside. They will explain at great length and top volume that she was born and raised in Outlook, and that the you see sign as you enter Sunnyside stating that she came from there is inaccurate and needs to be torn down.

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