How to Correct a Mistake That May Lead to the Ruin of All Mankind

I used to play the Assassin’s Creed games, but I had to stop eventually. My assassin always seemed to be suicidal. He’d be running from eight angry guards and decide to leap up on a fence post and perch there like a bird, waiting for the guards to come bludgeon him. Other times, he’d have a perfectly clear path, one I was steering him toward, then for no reason he’d lurch to the left and fling himself off of a roof.

I’m currently playing Hitman 2. I love most of the Hitman games. I get a great deal of enjoyment from slowly and methodically working through a level. Also, over the years, I’ve come to enjoy the protagonist, Agent 47, as a character. The fact that he’s bald has nothing to do with it.

It occurred to me the other day that thanks to Hitman’s disguise mechanic (you can put on the clothes of any man you knock out or kill) 47 is, essentially, a dress-up doll for dudes. I have seen non-player-characters walking around levels wearing something interesting and thought, Ooh. I wanna see 47 in that! It turns out all you have to do to make fashion palatable to men is to have them physically assault someone to get it.

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