How to Make People Uncomfortable

Scented lip balm. It’s a thing.

I think I would feel more comfortable buying feminine hygiene products than I would buying scented lip balm.

“Pardon me, madam. I wish to purchase this strawberry scented lip balm, but I assure you, it’s not because my lips smell bad as they are. I won’t put you on the spot by suggesting that you smell my lips for yourself, but I promise, they smell fine. And I’d know, as they are located right under my nose, with only my moustache to block the aroma. Indeed, my lips exude a perfectly normal lip odor. But that doesn’t mean they can’t smell better. After all, nobody buys lip-scented air freshener, or a deodorant labeled Mountain-lip. Ah, I see security’s here. I congratulate you on your promptness!”

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