How to Suffer for Your Beliefs

Being able to pick the item up is not the only criteria of whether or not something is a sandwich. If it were, a corn dog would be a sandwich. If the dish in question is not made up of at least one piece of something positioned between at least two pieces of another thing, sandwiched between them, if you will, it is not a sandwich.

A Taco is not a sandwich.

A burrito is not a sandwich.

A wrap is not a sandwich. It is a bad burrito eaten by someone who is fooling themselves.

A hot dog is not a sandwich . . . unless the little flap of bread that acts as the bun’s hinge splits, transforming the singular bun into two pieces of bread. In that case, it becomes a sandwich with very poor structural integrity.

A “Pizza boat” is not a sandwich. It is also not a pizza either. It is an edible cop-out.

Note from Missy: This goes side-by-side with another ongoing beef a friend has, on whether Cheetos count as “chips.”

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