How to Agree on a Definition

Clearly the open-faced sandwich thing was really bugging me.

Someone wrote complaining that by my definition Subway sandwiches aren’t sandwiches, because instead of slicing the bread in half, the “Sandwich Artists” scoop the loaf out like a dugout canoe. That person was, of course, 100% WRONG. The “Sandwich Artists” finish the sandwich by taking the part of the bread they scooped out and placing it back on top of the filling, thus satisfying my requirement that a sandwich consists on at least one thing held between at least two pieces of another thing.

I know that by my own rules, calling a chowder-filled bread bowl a sandwich is pushing it, but I’ve seen places where they take the top of the loaf of bread and place it on top like a lid, so it totally counts. Yes, it’s difficult to pick up and eat, but not impossible, if you’re careful, and don’t care about making a mess, because you will.

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