How to Apply the Laws of Physics to Personal Relationships: Vol. 3 Nuclear Reactions and Arguments

In my old stand-up act, I was the butt of many of my own jokes. The whole point of those jokes was that everyone, me included, knew that what I was saying was stupid.

For example:

“I believe that childbirth is the most painful thing anybody ever does voluntarily. Ladies, I give you that one. That said, you do have to admit, we men are taking your word for it. No man has ever had a kid, came back to the rest of us, and said, They’re telling the truth! That’s why I say we men should band together and tell women that it hurts to pee standing up.”

Problem was, if the audience thought I was just an idiot (which happened more than once), they’d assume I meant what I was saying, and they would “register their displeasure.”  Often, the shouting would begin before the punchline. One time just hearing a male say anything about childbirth set a woman in the audience off, causing her to end up publicly arguing against my stated position that childbirth is painful.

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