How to Make Yourself Spooky

I’m telling you, the only difference between most people’s “spooky ghost voice” and their “Jolly Santa voice” is saying “oooooh” instead of “ho ho ho.” It’s just moaning versus laughing.

No costume in history is scarier than Sean Connery’s costume from ZARDOZ! Seeing someone wear it is scary. The idea of attending a party with someone who is wearing it is scary. The idea of wearing it yourself is terrifying. Think about it, what’s scarier, a ghost, or a ghost wearing the ZARDOZ costume? A serial killer, or a serial killer wearing the ZARDOZ costume?

If I’m being chased by zombies, I’m gonna run a little faster if those zombies are wearing the ZARDOZ costume.

It’s not just that the costume is revealing. It’s that it’s revealing, and bright orange, and involves gun belts, a pony tail, and a big ‘70s moustache. The whole package just speaks of a person whose judgment is so suspect that they are capable pf anything.

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