How to Win an Argument — Basic Instructions

This is a technique that works and is used, in a slightly less exaggerated form, by many people every day. I wish it weren’t the case.

I also wish people didn’t hold on to the delusion that raisins are in any way an acceptable form of food. They are nothing but grapes that went bad, and should be discarded as such. Raisins are a practical joke the farmers of Fresno have perpetrated on the rest of us in retaliation for the fact that they have to live in Fresno. They are the thing you put in cookies that you then give to someone you think eats too many cookies, and the “treat” you give trick or treaters in hopes of discouraging them from ever ringing your doorbell again.

Note from Missy: I can’t wait to hear your opinion of prunes. (I already know how you feel about Red Delicious apples.)

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