How to Maintain a Secret Identity

El Destructo … What to say about El Destructo.

See, way back when, like in the late ’90s, before Luchadores had gone mainstream (or at least as close as they’ve gotten in this country), I happened to gain possession of a Luchador mask, and on a few occasions I turned up at the open mic night of my local comedy club performing under the name El Destructo. El Destructo’s act wasn’t very good. Every bit ended with him threatening violence against someone and yelling “Viva El Destructo!”

What can I say? Part of figuring out what’s funny is figuring out what isn’t.

I still have the mask. I also have a copy of the mask worn by El Santo. It’s a funny thing. You buy a lightsaber, and what you get is a nonfunctioning toy or replica of what you saw on the screen. If you buy a Captain America shield, same thing. You buy a Santo mask, you have an item that functions every bit as well as the one you saw in the movie. And, as an added bonus, soon starts to smell exactly how you always imagined Santo’s mask smelled.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Maintain a Secret Identity

El Destructo … What to say about El Destructo.

See, way back when, like in the late ’90s, before Luchadores had gone mainstream (or at least as close as they’ve gotten in this country), I happened to gain possession of a Luchador mask, and on a few occasions I turned up at the open mic night of my local comedy club performing under the name El Destructo. El Destructo’s act wasn’t very good. Every bit ended with him threatening violence against someone and yelling “Viva El Destructo!”

What can I say? Part of figuring out what’s funny is figuring out what isn’t.

I still have the mask. I also have a copy of the mask worn by El Santo. It’s a funny thing. You buy a lightsaber, and what you get is a nonfunctioning toy or replica of what you saw on the screen. If you buy a Captain America shield, same thing. You buy a Santo mask, you have an item that functions every bit as well as the one you saw in the movie. And, as an added bonus, soon starts to smell exactly how you always imagined Santo’s mask smelled.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Curse Without Cursing

In retrospect, I should have called him a mother f-er. I do use great googly-moogly occasionally. Lately I’ve taken to calling people carpet-baggers. It’s historical, colorful, and sounds vaguely dirty.

He called me a carpet bagger. What’s a carpet bagger? Someone who has a “carpeted” “bag”? Someone who “bags” “carpets”? That might be a compliment, maybe. Either way, it’s filth of the highest order!

Note from Missy: I’m totally charmed by the fact that all of the cursing and name-calling is happening during a hearty handshake of greeting. Also, a little “inside baseball” for the readers: Truly, Scott rarely ever swears. I’ve seen him injure himself and shout out, “That’s unfortunate!”

Hey, in case you're interested, I (This is scott again, btw) did an interview with a radio station in Pennsylvania, 98.7 “The FREQ.” It’s available on their website, if you want to hear what I sound like … from a great distance … while gargling. The phone connection wasn’t the best.

Also, in the United States, during the month of November, the Kindle editions of all three Magic 2.0 books will available at a reduced price.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Curse Without Cursing

In retrospect, I should have called him a mother f-er. I do use great googly-moogly occasionally. Lately I’ve taken to calling people carpet-baggers. It’s historical, colorful, and sounds vaguely dirty.

He called me a carpet bagger. What’s a carpet bagger? Someone who has a “carpeted” “bag”? Someone who “bags” “carpets”? That might be a compliment, maybe. Either way, it’s filth of the highest order!

Note from Missy: I’m totally charmed by the fact that all of the cursing and name-calling is happening during a hearty handshake of greeting. Also, a little “inside baseball” for the readers: Truly, Scott rarely ever swears. I’ve seen him injure himself and shout out, “That’s unfortunate!”

Hey, in case you're interested, I (This is scott again, btw) did an interview with a radio station in Pennsylvania, 98.7 “The FREQ.” It’s available on their website, if you want to hear what I sound like … from a great distance … while gargling. The phone connection wasn’t the best.

Also, in the United States, during the month of November, the Kindle editions of all three Magic 2.0 books will available at a reduced price.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Fired

Okay, the comics are starting to feel like basic instructions to me. The fact that in the previous comic and this comic I got fired should not be seen as a sign that I got fired from a job. Instead, I was deeply concerned about getting fired from a job. There’s a big difference.

These two comics running back to back is probably the closest the strip ever got to having a continuing storyline.

Note from Missy: I love that he’s giving you some sort of book with the title “You’re Fired” on it. Like the employee manual, but the opposite.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Be Fired

Okay, the comics are starting to feel like basic instructions to me. The fact that in the previous comic and this comic I got fired should not be seen as a sign that I got fired from a job. Instead, I was deeply concerned about getting fired from a job. There’s a big difference.

These two comics running back to back is probably the closest the strip ever got to having a continuing storyline.

Note from Missy: I love that he’s giving you some sort of book with the title “You’re Fired” on it. Like the employee manual, but the opposite.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Remember Your Lines

I do, in fact, talk things through under my breath. I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time. I try not to do it in public, but I do catch myself occasionally. Nobody’s ever commented on it, almost certainly because they think I’m insane.

In retrospect, the last line should have been “Let’s talk about my unemployment compensation.” It would have been clearer, if wordier.

Note from Missy: You had to get fired from this particular job. The position under Mullet Boss was waiting for you! Also: “Nobody’s ever commented on it”? Umm … J

Note from Scott: Nobody’s commented on me muttering to myself in public. You comment on me doing it around the house all the time, which only leads to more muttering.

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Remember Your Lines

I do, in fact, talk things through under my breath. I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time. I try not to do it in public, but I do catch myself occasionally. Nobody’s ever commented on it, almost certainly because they think I’m insane.

In retrospect, the last line should have been “Let’s talk about my unemployment compensation.” It would have been clearer, if wordier.

Note from Missy: You had to get fired from this particular job. The position under Mullet Boss was waiting for you! Also: “Nobody’s ever commented on it”? Umm … J

Note from Scott: Nobody’s commented on me muttering to myself in public. You comment on me doing it around the house all the time, which only leads to more muttering.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win an Argument

This is a technique that works and is used, in a slightly less exaggerated form, by many people every day. I wish it weren’t the case.

I also wish people didn’t hold on to the delusion that raisins are in any way an acceptable form of food. They are nothing but grapes that went bad, and should be discarded as such. Raisins are a practical joke the farmers of Fresno have perpetrated on the rest of us in retaliation for the fact that they have to live in Fresno. They are the thing you put in cookies that you then give to someone you think eats too many cookies, and the “treat” you give trick or treaters in hopes of discouraging them from ever ringing your doorbell again.

Note from Missy: I can’t wait to hear your opinion of prunes. (I already know how you feel about Red Delicious apples.)

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Win an Argument

This is a technique that works and is used, in a slightly less exaggerated form, by many people every day. I wish it weren’t the case.

I also wish people didn’t hold on to the delusion that raisins are in any way an acceptable form of food. They are nothing but grapes that went bad, and should be discarded as such. Raisins are a practical joke the farmers of Fresno have perpetrated on the rest of us in retaliation for the fact that they have to live in Fresno. They are the thing you put in cookies that you then give to someone you think eats too many cookies, and the “treat” you give trick or treaters in hopes of discouraging them from ever ringing your doorbell again.

Note from Missy: I can’t wait to hear your opinion of prunes. (I already know how you feel about Red Delicious apples.)

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).