How to Find Out What Really Happened

Introducing the character Mr. Everywhere gave me a real problem, because the amount of room I had to work with in a frame was limited, and I couldn’t logically show Omnipresent Man and not show Mr. Everywhere there with him. If they’re both everywhere, it follows that they must be everywhere together.

Of course, I technically should have included Omnipresent Man in every panel of every comic I wrote from the moment I invented him on. I chose to sort of cheat and just not show him. Then, I created a second character who gave me the same problem, forcing me to cheat twice.

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How to See Something In a Whole New Light

Here, watch it for yourself and decide if I exaggerated a single point.

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How to Do Political Humor

And that’s why I try not to be overtly political. While I stand by the opinions expressed here, 100% of the predictions I made were wrong.

Also, I gotta say, the facial expression I drew in panel 2 is probably the least flattering image of me in existence.

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How to Deal with Your Mistakes

A long time ago, Missy and I were in a cash-poor position, and I decided to try earning a little side money by applying at a temp agency. They tested my typing ability and basic familiarity with Microsoft Office. I had used word processors before, but not Word. And at that point it had been a few years. In fact, the most advanced word processor I had used ran on a black and white Mac, if that gives you an idea. A few things had changed.

They asked me what the squiggly red line under a word in my document meant. I didn’t know.

Think about that. I did not know what the red line, the foundational interface of a modern spell checker, meant. To make it worse, while failing to answer that question, I looked directly at a misspelled word and didn’t catch the error.

I was not offered any work.

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How to Create a Compelling Villain

I don’t ever specify if the Emperor’s parents are dead or not. I could have made the Emperor deal with his controlling mother and disapproving father. Even if he kept them imprisoned, they could’ve constantly been browbeating him about the quality of their guards and cages.

”Rocket Hat wouldn’t lock his parents up like this. No, he’d do it right!”

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How to Untangle a Surprising Truth

I also believe that chowder in a sourdough bread bowl counts as a sandwich, but only if it has a bread lid, or at least crackers floating on top.

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How to Express Admiration

Not to mention the subterranean city hidden beneath the Magic Kingdom.

I once had two middle-aged men walk up to me while I was working in one of the parks and ask me to solve an argument for them. One of the men said that he had heard there was an extensive tunnel system under the Magic Kingdom.

The other guy said, “No, there isn’t.”

I said, “There is.”

The first guy said, “I told you.”

The second guy said, “No, there isn’t.”

I said, “I’ve been in it, more than once.”

The second guy said, “You’re lying.”

I don’t have a lot of faith left in mankind’s ability to settle our differences.

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How to Be Patient

At my old office job, there was a honcho from corporate who would come in every now and then to settle someone’s hash. I found it easy to remember his last name because it rhymed with plow. All I had to do was sing the Mr. Plow jingle from the Simpsons using his name instead of plow, and I was golden.

I told that to my immediate supervisor. We shared a small laugh, then she got deadly serious and said, “Yeah, stop doing that.”

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How to Flesh Out an Insight

This comic probably angered a few tightrope walkers, but what are they going to do about it from up there on that rope? Hit me with that long pole of theirs?

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How to Explain What the Deal Is with "The Avengers"

To be fair, two years before Super Friends launched, DC did address somewhat grittier subject matter.

Image Source: Wikipedia

My favorite thing about that cover is that Green Lantern is being such a jerk about it. I’m amazed he didn’t use his ring to make a giant green hand pointing at Speedy with the words “Dope Fiend.”

Also, you’d think Speedy would have been on amphetamines. Just saying.

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