How to Reassess Something You've Been Doing Your Whole Adult Life
Of course, I’m not really any sort of expert on proper formal communication. When this comic was written I tended to finish my emails with “End Transmission.”
For a while, back when I was a comedian, I ended emails with “Your hatred nourishes me.” It was a catchphrase from my act, which should give you some idea of how my career was going.
Just so you know, at that time Ric ended his emails with “Yours in perfect manhood.”
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How to See the Positive Aspects of Getting Older
I have only ever been treated by one chiropractor. His name was Glen. Not Dr. Glen something, or even Dr. Glen. Just Glen.
My mother met Glen god-knows-where and he offered a package deal to “adjust” her and her three boys for one low price.
Glen saw patients in his home, and in his street clothes. From my point of view as a 6th grader, this particular therapeutic intervention seemed like our mom took us to a house we’d never been to so some guy in a plaid shirt and jeans could twist us until our spines popped.
I swear to you, he spent most of the time grumbling about how unfair it was that his license to practice had been taken away.
So yeah, I have trust issues with chiropractors.
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How to Argue with Your Spouse
It will be interesting to see what the cruise industry looks like a year from now. Between stand-up comedy and my time with Disney I know more than one person for whom the cruise line shutdowns are a serious financial hardship.
In theory, cruises are a great idea. A giant luxury resort that moves from place to place while you sleep, allowing you to see interesting, exotic places.
In practice, I find the “resort” amenity people use most is the buffet, and the unique ports of call are slowly being taken over by the kinds of businesses that do well with cruise ship passengers. So, it can feel more like a giant Golden Corral that travels between interesting, exotic jewelry stores and fridge magnet outlets.
I genuinely hope the industry survives. We just need to make sure that the employees are paid a worthwhile wage and that blatant pollution isn’t built into the system.
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How to Talk to a Depressed Friend
This is my second mention of the Hulk in as many comics. Clearly I had Hulk on the brain. Maybe I had just seen the Edward Norton movie (It’s possible. I didn’t see it in the theaters.)
I also have this theory that Popeye didn’t like spinach. I believe that he was a Hulk, and that eating canned spinach was the fastest way to make himself angry.
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How to Discuss Your Weird Ideas
Of course, sitting here right now, I can think of several other parts of the body named for their shapes. There are tiny bones in our ears called the hammer, the anvil, and the stirrup. There’s also the armpit, the arch of the foot, The ball of the foot, and, well, remove the word “foot” from that last one and make it plural.
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