How to Wash a Cat

in

This was many years ago. Missy and I have both come to the conclusion that there’s really no need to wash a cat. They do a good enough job on their own that it’s not worth the inherent risk of bodily harm to try to do it better.

I wonder if any soap company has ever tried to create some sort of synthetic cat spit to market as a shampoo or body wash. They’d make it smell like lilacs or something, I’m sure. And it would come with a surprisingly abrasive sponge mitt shaped like a tongue.

Note from Missy: The shouting conversation in panel 3 remains one of my favorites to this day. It’s just so very authentic.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Wash a Cat

in

This was many years ago. Missy and I have both come to the conclusion that there’s really no need to wash a cat. They do a good enough job on their own that it’s not worth the inherent risk of bodily harm to try to do it better.

I wonder if any soap company has ever tried to create some sort of synthetic cat spit to market as a shampoo or body wash. They’d make it smell like lilacs or something, I’m sure. And it would come with a surprisingly abrasive sponge mitt shaped like a tongue.

Note from Missy: The shouting conversation in panel 3 remains one of my favorites to this day. It’s just so very authentic.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Play "Who Would Win"

in

Galactus has a longer stride. Now, if it were a motorcycle jumping contest, I’d back the Fonz.

Sadly, the second and third panels are both arguments I’ve had more than once. My older brother always insisted that the General Lee would win in a race against the Knight Rider. None of KITT’s many super powers would change his mind. Have I mentioned that he drives a Dodge Charger now?

The Thing has fought the Hulk, and the Hulk won. My problem with this is that The Thing is able to reason. The Hulk is just in a blind rage. The message in the Hulk’s victory is that rage beats reason. I cannot accept that. It’s possible that I’m taking this too seriously, but I refuse to accept that as well.

Note from Missy: My favorite part is how you imply that Dick Cheney is either Master or Blaster. 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Play "Who Would Win"

in

Galactus has a longer stride. Now, if it were a motorcycle jumping contest, I’d back the Fonz.

Sadly, the second and third panels are both arguments I’ve had more than once. My older brother always insisted that the General Lee would win in a race against the Knight Rider. None of KITT’s many super powers would change his mind. Have I mentioned that he drives a Dodge Charger now?

The Thing has fought the Hulk, and the Hulk won. My problem with this is that The Thing is able to reason. The Hulk is just in a blind rage. The message in the Hulk’s victory is that rage beats reason. I cannot accept that. It’s possible that I’m taking this too seriously, but I refuse to accept that as well.

Note from Missy: My favorite part is how you imply that Dick Cheney is either Master or Blaster. 

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept a Compliment

in

I knew a comedian who had a spreadsheet on which he had every line from his act intended to get any sort of reaction from an audience listed in the left hand column. He’d tape record every show, then spend part of the next day listening to the entire act, pausing the recording after every reaction and scoring that reaction on the spreadsheet on a scale from one to ten. If a line fell below a certain percentage, it was cut from the act.

Ric and I both agreed that it was an insane plan, which would rob our friend’s act of its soul. I should point out that our friend is still a comedian. Ric and I are not.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Accept a Compliment

in

I knew a comedian who had a spreadsheet on which he had every line from his act intended to get any sort of reaction from an audience listed in the left hand column. He’d tape record every show, then spend part of the next day listening to the entire act, pausing the recording after every reaction and scoring that reaction on the spreadsheet on a scale from one to ten. If a line fell below a certain percentage, it was cut from the act.

Ric and I both agreed that it was an insane plan, which would rob our friend’s act of its soul. I should point out that our friend is still a comedian. Ric and I are not.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Backpedal

in

Really, any time you’re saying “it was a joke” in your own defense, it’s bad times. It almost certainly means that you’ve offended someone, and now you’re telling them that you find the offensive thing you said funny. Of course, it’s often a perfectly valid defense, but it depends on appealing to the sense of humor and rationality of someone who didn’t get the joke in the first place, and is now angry.

Early Mullet Boss had a sort of a Kris Kristofferson thing going on … which is not a good thing.

Note from Missy: Feels more like an ’80s Kenny Loggins vibe to me. Which, still, not great. 

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Backpedal

in

Really, any time you’re saying “it was a joke” in your own defense, it’s bad times. It almost certainly means that you’ve offended someone, and now you’re telling them that you find the offensive thing you said funny. Of course, it’s often a perfectly valid defense, but it depends on appealing to the sense of humor and rationality of someone who didn’t get the joke in the first place, and is now angry.

Early Mullet Boss had a sort of a Kris Kristofferson thing going on … which is not a good thing.

Note from Missy: Feels more like an ’80s Kenny Loggins vibe to me. Which, still, not great. 

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).