How to Tune People Out

The corporate office in which I worked had a break area. It was a small office. Everybody knew everybody. If I tried to read a book I usually ended up having a conversation about the book instead. Later I worked at Walt Disney World, in areas so large that nobody in the breakroom knew me. I could read anything I wanted with no interruption. I ask you, which environment was more “friendly”?

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As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Tune People Out

The corporate office in which I worked had a break area. It was a small office. Everybody knew everybody. If I tried to read a book I usually ended up having a conversation about the book instead. Later I worked at Walt Disney World, in areas so large that nobody in the breakroom knew me. I could read anything I wanted with no interruption. I ask you, which environment was more “friendly”?

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Get Sympathy when Injured

This comic was written after my motorcycle accident.

Oh, by the way, I had a motorcycle accident. I call it a motorcycle accident, though it would be more accurate to call it a scooter accident, but that doesn’t sound as good. A motorcycle accident sounds like I was jumping over some buses and I didn’t stick the landing. A scooter accident sounds like I hit a loose cobblestone on my way into the village to buy a bottle of Chianti.

I never got on another bike again after that. I still appreciate them as objects, but I totally lost my nerve.

In other news, this is Missy’s first appearance in the comic!

Note from Missy: Yay, me! Also, more detail on the scooter accident. While traveling straight across an intersection, an elderly man in an elderly land-yacht coming the other way turned left into Scott. The old man’s statement was that he didn’t see the bright-yellow scooter crossing the road because he was somehow dazzled by the headlights on oncoming traffic. We never did figure out why seeing oncoming headlights made it seem like the perfect time to turn left across that oncoming lane.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Get Sympathy when Injured

This comic was written after my motorcycle accident.

Oh, by the way, I had a motorcycle accident. I call it a motorcycle accident, though it would be more accurate to call it a scooter accident, but that doesn’t sound as good. A motorcycle accident sounds like I was jumping over some buses and I didn’t stick the landing. A scooter accident sounds like I hit a loose cobblestone on my way into the village to buy a bottle of Chianti.

I never got on another bike again after that. I still appreciate them as objects, but I totally lost my nerve.

In other news, this is Missy’s first appearance in the comic!

Note from Missy: Yay, me! Also, more detail on the scooter accident. While traveling straight across an intersection, an elderly man in an elderly land-yacht coming the other way turned left into Scott. The old man’s statement was that he didn’t see the bright-yellow scooter crossing the road because he was somehow dazzled by the headlights on oncoming traffic. We never did figure out why seeing oncoming headlights made it seem like the perfect time to turn left across that oncoming lane.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Shirk

For a time, between my comedy career and my Disney career, I worked in a corporate office in Seattle. My official title was Office Manager, but I referred to myself as the Office Monkey. Basically, my job was to get everybody the things they needed and assist everybody in whatever time I had left over. I learned a lot about how the real world works in that job, by observing my coworkers’ behavior and my own.

Some people were reasonable, and only asked for things they actually needed. Others took full advantage, and asked for things just to see if they could get them. Over time, I noticed that I tended to go the extra mile for those who only made reasonable requests, while those who tried to push it often ended up getting only the bare minimum that I could justify.

They say that in life you usually don’t get what you don’t ask for, and that is true. But just because you ask for something doesn’t mean that you’ll get it, or that you should.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Shirk

For a time, between my comedy career and my Disney career, I worked in a corporate office in Seattle. My official title was Office Manager, but I referred to myself as the Office Monkey. Basically, my job was to get everybody the things they needed and assist everybody in whatever time I had left over. I learned a lot about how the real world works in that job, by observing my coworkers’ behavior and my own.

Some people were reasonable, and only asked for things they actually needed. Others took full advantage, and asked for things just to see if they could get them. Over time, I noticed that I tended to go the extra mile for those who only made reasonable requests, while those who tried to push it often ended up getting only the bare minimum that I could justify.

They say that in life you usually don’t get what you don’t ask for, and that is true. But just because you ask for something doesn’t mean that you’ll get it, or that you should.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Call a Relative

This strip was written in jest. How sad is it that I have to clarify that?

I have a pretty good relationship with my immediate family, and bear no ill will toward my extended family. I’d be perfectly happy to live in the same town as them if they lived somewhere fit for human habitation.

I know that’s a harsh thing to say. There are people who love the combination of harsh winters, brutal summers, crushing isolation, lack of opportunity, and the omnipresent smell of manure. That’s their thing, and it’s not my place to judge. It is may place to avoid their place, and I do.

Note from Missy: I find it deliciously prescient that this strip was written when we still lived in the same state as his family, but we then proceeded to move three time zones away.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

NOTE: There was a problem with the link earlier, but it's workign now. Sorry for the trouble.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Call a Relative

This strip was written in jest. How sad is it that I have to clarify that?

I have a pretty good relationship with my immediate family, and bear no ill will toward my extended family. I’d be perfectly happy to live in the same town as them if they lived somewhere fit for human habitation.

I know that’s a harsh thing to say. There are people who love the combination of harsh winters, brutal summers, crushing isolation, lack of opportunity, and the omnipresent smell of manure. That’s their thing, and it’s not my place to judge. It is may place to avoid their place, and I do.

Note from Missy: I find it deliciously prescient that this strip was written when we still lived in the same state as his family, but we then proceeded to move three time zones away.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities is available now!

I ended up removing the tradmark symbol from the official title. It was playing havoc with the Amazon search algorithm.

NOTE: There was a problem with the link earlier, but it's workign now. Sorry for the trouble.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Play Poker

For a short time, America went crazy for poker. Missy and I were as guilty as anyone else, and we both reached a level of mastery I think one would call “semi-competent amateur.” (Missy was much better at it than I was, which will surprise nobody who’s actually met us.)

I actually went so far as to enter two non-money tournaments. (Missy entered some real money tournaments as well.) I managed to come in second in the first tournament I played, but it wasn’t due to good play on my part. I think it was my unorthodox table image. I comported myself as a friendly but shy guy who didn’t talk trash and was there primarily to have fun. Turns out that persona made a lot of the other players instantly angry, so much so that they were still hostile the next time we played.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities™ is available now!

NOTE: There was a problem with the link earlier, but it's workign now. Sorry for the trouble.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).

How to Play Poker

For a short time, America went crazy for poker. Missy and I were as guilty as anyone else, and we both reached a level of mastery I think one would call “semi-competent amateur.” (Missy was much better at it than I was, which will surprise nobody who’s actually met us.)

I actually went so far as to enter two non-money tournaments. (Missy entered some real money tournaments as well.) I managed to come in second in the first tournament I played, but it wasn’t due to good play on my part. I think it was my unorthodox table image. I comported myself as a friendly but shy guy who didn’t talk trash and was there primarily to have fun. Turns out that persona made a lot of the other players instantly angry, so much so that they were still hostile the next time we played.

Good news everybody! My most recent novel The Authorities™ is available now!

NOTE: There was a problem with the link earlier, but it's workign now. Sorry for the trouble.

You can comment on this comic on Facebook.

As always, thanks for using my Amazon Affiliate links (US, UK, Canada).